So a man just said to me….

[Littlebobbin15]

I was browsing a jewellers shop window, looking at some nice opal drop earrings actually, and a guy went inside and as he did said to me, ‘you shouldn’t be looking in a jewellers shop window if you don’t even have a coat’, then looked down at the coat on my arm (I’d got too hot) and said ‘oh, you do, come in and we’ll take your money off you regardless’, and laughed.

I kind of gave him a perplexed, kind of confused half smile, but now I wish I’d him where to go as I’ve realised it’s actually quite insulting.

Why on earth would presumably the shop owner speak to a prospective customer like this? It’s just utterly baffling to me. I didn’t have make up on, but I was nicely and fashionably dressed, in new clothes, and I look after myself, I certainly didn’t look like I was down and out and unable to afford a coat!

AIBU to think he’s most likely a weird asshole who enjoys insulting women and only has himself to blame for losing a £400 sale?

Right
ok. Just forget about it, his loss.

Even down and outs like to look at pretty earrings 🙄

I would tell all my local friends about this weirdo, in case they were planning to visit the shop.

That is just a really weird comment to make to you OP.
It sounds like it was his idea of a chat up line tbh.
I certainly wouldn't worry about it.

Sounds like what he thought was witty banter that on closer examination, wasn't.

I wouldn't over think it, if you over analyse pretty much anything one stranger says to another you can find something unpleasant, insulting, clumsy, rude etc etc.

I think you're over-thinking this 'insult'. He was probably just trying to be amusing and it all went to pot.

I agree - what a weird thing to say to a potential customer!

All i can think of is that he's one of those people who have trouble filtering brain to mouth in fast moments. You think a random thing and then out it comes because it might be funny and conversational shared, but isn't and wasn't ever going to be!

(i have form for doing this in interviews out of nerves)

I know I’m overthinking it, but I took it as him practically saying ‘come back when you can afford my stuff!’, which there’s no nice way to take!
I think I’ve also go a bit of middle age insecurity about my appearance too, that he played into.

You don’t sound so nice yourself talking about “down and outs.”

No he didn't really sell himself or come off the way it sounds like he intended. He came across unprofessional and a bit weird.

But admittedly my brain processes slower in social situations and I often say things I think are witty but actually are embarrassing and unintentionally insulting!
I've trained myself to just not speak now but in my 20s I definitely accidentally offended people with my awkward not funny, humour attempts.

🙄

Find some earrings in a different shop and forget about his idiotic comment.

I mean she implies he shouldn’t have said it to her because she does look “down and out” which implies it would be fine to say it to people who did look that way.

I honestly think it was just a very poorly aimed and fired joke. It happens. He probably thought it sounded witty then realised afterwards that it actually sounded like he was calling you a bum.

Or he was calling you a bum. Who knows. Who cares. Just don't shop there.

Sorry if that comes across as offensive, that wasn’t my intention at all ☹️ I’m just trying to explain my point.

Can I ask what would be a better way to describe someone who can’t afford a coat, and I’ll edit my post?

No it’s not fine to say it to anyone.

Surely it was a joke to try and engage a customer. It obviously didn't work, but I don't think it was more than that.

AIBU to think he’s most likely a weird asshole who enjoys insulting women

well, yes YABU

why do you think being a woman had anything to do with anything?

It’s not even so much the description but the fact you think it’s odd he said it to you because you don’t look like that. It wouldn’t be acceptable for him to say it to anyone.

Although I accept that probably wasn’t your intention. So don’t worry about it

Sometimes people just come out with shite mistaking it for banter. I’d have walked off baffled but reminding myself that the shop employs wankers.

Are you sure it wasn't just a misfired joke? That's what it sounded like to me.

Clearly clumsy chat-up line, clearly saw the coat on your arm before the remark, socially awkward person?

Was he Gerald Ratner?

Was he quite an old man? I’ve had weird comments like this from old men who think they’re being funny. I wouldn’t take it personally he just sounds like an oddball.

If a similar thing ever happens again, just pretend you’re either foreign or deaf?