Mumsnet should protect women from creepy perverts

[notthisagain2025]

On every single question that comes anywhere near sex there will be a few disgusting men clearly enjoying harassing women, giving unsolicited and grubby details about their weird kink wank fetish, trying to minimise women's natural and real concerns, and a few handmaidens bringing up the rear, as it were.

These people get a kick out of harassing women with sleazy, unsolicited details of their greasy kink wank fetishes.

This isn’t a grubby fetish site, women here shouldn’t have to put up with the creepy, one-handed typing we get everywhere else online.

Unless a thread specifically asks for talk about perversions or bedroom habits, those comments should be removed.

Only a sad freak would pretend my stance comes from not having a healthy sex life. I assume your sex life is shockingly bad if you pretend to believe that, projection is real. My sex life is great, and that's all you need to know.

No, I despise these slobbering sleazers because they push boundaries. They get off on forcing us to be an audience for their grubby fantasy lives.

You know who I mean, the ones who call strangulation "choking" and pretend it's just jolly good fun, not a life threatening assault. The ones who call a healthy sex life "vanilla" in a desperate attempt to shame people for not being porn addicted sleazers. The ones who talk about "sex positivity" which really means we are all positive they're creepy bastards with no boundaries who want us to shred our boundaries too.

These grubs hate boundaries and they want ours removed to.

It’s their thrill at making us unwilling readers of their dodgy kinks and their attempts to normalise their sleazy daydreams that pisses me off, not the acts themselves.

Do whatever you want in private and keep your trap shut unless invited.

I don't care what you do behind closed doors with consenting adults, and neither does anybody else - which is what these desperados hate more than anything. They want to be seen and heard, and they get off on knowing that it grosses other people out.

YABU - I think creepy bastards should post all their filthy nonsense here and force us to read it as part of their fetish.

YANBU - Unless it's a thread about kinks, perversions and so on keep it to yourself, nobody cares, and mumsnet should be heavily moderating this crap.

Blimey, don’t know what threads I’ve missed!

Me too, I've not come across anything like that although I do have a lot of topics hidden

Mumsnet have failed to protect users from multiple instances of inappropriate images of children being posted, then neatly swept that all under the rug. I think you need to lower your expectations.

You're probably right :(

YABU because this question about the sex forum and the sex threads therein has been done to death.

I just don't go over there, nor do I post about my sex life in graphic detail.

It's a very difficult one OP.

I agree with you that this should be a safe site for women. But it's a very fine line between protecting it as a safe space and censorship.

I must say I sometimes look at the Sex topic. And whereas sometimes it has very legitimate and helpful advice some of the threads and posts deliberately promoting fetishes and sexual practices seem totally out of kilter with what Mumsnet is supposed to be about. And I'm really surprised that MN find a lot of the stuff in that topic as acceptable.

And today there’s a thread in site stuff where a user has reported getting a pop-up encouraging them to look at a SA thread.

Mumsnet aren’t here to protect us, they’re here to make money from us in as many different ways as possible, and if they’re going to get clicks by encouraging these perverts to join in then that’s what they’ll do.

try posting in that board instead though as this is in AIBU which is really the Facebook community group of the whole site.

That all sounds very intense OP

Are you ok?

If you're noticing this sort of thing, are you reporting these men?

Also, how do you know them?

How does she know them? Seriously? Are you ok?

How do you know they're all men? I'd call it choking and done safely it's something that I enjoy. Just because people have different tastes doesn't make them creepy perverts.

I phrased that badly.

I mean where is she seeing all this and how does she know they're definitely men?

As the vast majority of MNetters are apparently women, I always assume the majority of trolls are likely to therefore be too.

Can you let me know where the graphic sleazy sex threads are? Asking for a friend.

Probably best off in the sex topic.

X posted with @BloodandGlitter

Good lord ! How so?
really???

You can often tell. Sleazy sounding, giving cringey inappropriate advice about how to enjoy sex or excusing sleaziness, rape apologists, the ones that jump on anny thread about custody issues with abuse involved and make excuses for the man and just… yeah… men.

The sex topic is full of sleazy men. It's unusable for women who want genuine advice.

YABU. Its an anonymous online forum. Its not a community centre where everyone is sitting drinking tea. You're not physically in harms way. You are able to maintain your safety and anonymity. If you dont like a comment, scroll by. If you dont like a post, scroll by. if you dont like a comment, report it.

You dont have to interact with anyone who comments, you can report posts, you can just not react to trolls. Its not as though an anonymous MN commenter is battering down your door, its an online forum. Just dont react. They feed from reaction.

MN do protect us though. All threads are titled (so you can choose to read or not),sex threads have their own area, MN have moderators and there is a report button (which I the they actually act on - unlike FB).
They have also acted after the photo incident (all photos are now reviewed).
Of you think MN should review every single post before it’s published I think that’s unrealistic and would result in a very boring and slow social media site.

Hmm I don't know.

The reason I'm sceptical is because certain trolls know exactly what buttons to push, which leads me to believe they're regular MNetters.

Then there's all the times you read 'Are you a man?' just because there's been a mild difference of opinion between posters.

I don't doubt there are male trolls on here, I just don't think it's always possible to tell the difference.

Oh yeah, there’s plenty of trolls, but often the men aren’t trolling exactly, they actually believe what they’re saying. Next time I see one I’ll come back and tag you, if you like 😀

Deal! 🤣

But on a serious note, it doesn't really matter what sex they are.

The main thing is they should not be deliberately upsetting and perving on MNetters.

Although I'm not sure if the OP is talking about the sex topic of MN in general but either way, these people need reporting.

I voted YABU because your options are bogus anyway

And because "choking" is a legit sex practise, if done safely, and we should talk about it more so we can encourage safe practise and allow it to be talked about so it's not taboo and shameful

And because Vanilla literally means non kink based sex

There is no such thing as safe choking.

Read the post directly after the one of yours I’m quoting now…