Mumsnet should protect women from creepy perverts

[notthisagain2025]

On every single question that comes anywhere near sex there will be a few disgusting men clearly enjoying harassing women, giving unsolicited and grubby details about their weird kink wank fetish, trying to minimise women's natural and real concerns, and a few handmaidens bringing up the rear, as it were.

These people get a kick out of harassing women with sleazy, unsolicited details of their greasy kink wank fetishes.

This isn’t a grubby fetish site, women here shouldn’t have to put up with the creepy, one-handed typing we get everywhere else online.

Unless a thread specifically asks for talk about perversions or bedroom habits, those comments should be removed.

Only a sad freak would pretend my stance comes from not having a healthy sex life. I assume your sex life is shockingly bad if you pretend to believe that, projection is real. My sex life is great, and that's all you need to know.

No, I despise these slobbering sleazers because they push boundaries. They get off on forcing us to be an audience for their grubby fantasy lives.

You know who I mean, the ones who call strangulation "choking" and pretend it's just jolly good fun, not a life threatening assault. The ones who call a healthy sex life "vanilla" in a desperate attempt to shame people for not being porn addicted sleazers. The ones who talk about "sex positivity" which really means we are all positive they're creepy bastards with no boundaries who want us to shred our boundaries too.

These grubs hate boundaries and they want ours removed to.

It’s their thrill at making us unwilling readers of their dodgy kinks and their attempts to normalise their sleazy daydreams that pisses me off, not the acts themselves.

Do whatever you want in private and keep your trap shut unless invited.

I don't care what you do behind closed doors with consenting adults, and neither does anybody else - which is what these desperados hate more than anything. They want to be seen and heard, and they get off on knowing that it grosses other people out.

YABU - I think creepy bastards should post all their filthy nonsense here and force us to read it as part of their fetish.

YANBU - Unless it's a thread about kinks, perversions and so on keep it to yourself, nobody cares, and mumsnet should be heavily moderating this crap.

Sure. The Sex Topic is available for you to discuss your kinks. I’m sure you don’t want to push talking about them with people who aren’t interested, right?

I never said we should normalise choking...

I said we should discuss it because it stops it being something shameful and helps people feel able to speak up if they are uncomfortable....

This thread is literally about how people talk about sex on MN so it's relevant

Since this thread is about talking about sex... you should expect to see mentions of sex and kink

Great. But we don’t need to discuss it here, right? With people that haven’t asked to discuss it.

And there we go again. You do surprise me.

We are discussing how we talk about sex and kink

Which is the topic of the thread

You keep bringing up how disgusting choking is, why can we not say anything that's contrary?

You just want to silence women who have different ideas to you

Again?

You mean a direct reply to you talking about sex?

I rest my case.

Because you have no case

Aren't we all relatively protected, by virtue of being nowhere near the people posting? It's not like they're going to reach through the phone with a set of nipple clamps. Just don't read the bits you aren't comfortable with - tbh I think there's plenty of censorship on MN, and at a societal level, probably too much. Not just regarding sex, but generally.

Agree this is in AIBU so the least you can expect is opposing views. If you’re asking whether pervs should be allowed to post, expect some pervs to argue yes they should.

Female dominated sites bring out the incels and misogynists. At least that has always been my experience. It’s so weird.

Goodness! They’re basically like flashers.

OP I've been on here for several years and I have never once, not even once, seen any thread go like that. Where are these threads? What am I missing? It must be pretty rare.

No, I see you.

I agree.

I think perhaps you just need to accept that just because someone enjoys a different type of sex to the type that you enjoy, that doesn’t make them a) disgusting, b) a man or c) wrong for being honest about it.

When women are being insulted and called disgusting - by other women - for liking certain things in bed that are nobody else’s business, they are entitled to defend themselves.

Whenever the topic of (eg) anal sex or any kind of BDSM activity or whatever ends up being hotly debated on Mumsnet, it’s almost never the people who are into those things who actually raised the subject first. It’s usually someone who thinks those things are wrong/abusive/dangerous/only-for-men who mentions them with some kind of derogatory sweeping statement, and then the women who do enjoy those things feel, understandably, that they should be able to defend themselves or correct the misconceptions being chucked at them.

Personally, I find it pretty misogynistic when posters shout “you must be a man” or “you don’t have any self-respect” or “you’ve been brainwashed by porn“ or “you’re just being a pick-me / cool wife / handmaiden who just pretends to like this to please a man” at any woman who likes something in bed that isn’t part of Mumsnet’s prescribed list of approved bedroom activities. If a woman likes (eg) spanking or filthy language or anal sex or whatever, she is just as entitled to her opinion on it as you and it doesn’t mean she has to be ashamed about it just because you don’t find it palatable.

Policing the sexual preferences of other women and insulting them as ‘handmaidens’ if they don’t align with yours is not, in my opinion, a feminist act. Shaming women for their private sexual interests and fantasies is not feminism.

Yes, sometimes there are (very obvious) men who appear on threads trying to goad women into fuelling their wank fantasies or are simply openly misogynistic. But they are much fewer and further between than you’re implying.

I haven't seen any of this. Apart from this one of yours. Report a thread if you don't like it or find it offensive .

In the last couple of days, there was one thread on AIBU and another was on Relationships.

Both under the guise of "trying to understand" a viewpoint that did not align with their own.

Much on the same level as @BloodandGlitter et al.

Sorry, you lost me when you called women who disagreed with you 'handmaidens'.

It's not up to MN to protect you, put your big girl pants on and do it yourself.

You are deluded to think this website is about women , or for women. It’s not and it never was.