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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can I have a hand hold please ?

93 replies

ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 00:44

I had my thyroid surgery at 9am. I was in surgery for 7 hours, it was very difficult and stuck down to basically everything. I’ve also had a neck dissection where they have removed 40 lymph nodes because I have metastatic melanoma.

since 5pm on the ward my throat has been agony, I’ve also been ‘oozing’ fluid from the wound which I creasing pain. I’m on oxygen too. I have a drain with zero output

2 hours ago my lovely lovely nurse gave me iv paracetamol and asked the day ent if I could have my blood thinning injection, he said yes, went home and she gave it (God that mo fo burns)!

For 2 hours it has been really hard to get a deep breath or swallow, so I told the nurse and to her credit when she saw my buzzer go off she called the night ent guy and gave me some oramorph.

Night ENT dr has said I need an urgent new drain as the fluid is now building up in my wound, it’s also actively bleeding underneath the wound into my neck (because of the blood thinner).

I need to have some TXA (tranexamic acid) to help stop the bleeding, then a new drain but they want my air way protected so I have to go back to theatres for it as the swelling is a bit much, currently I have no dressing on to try and encourage as much of it to come out as possible whilst simultaneously not bleeding everywhere Oh and I need to walk around to try not to get a blood clot

All my people are asleep and I feel very alone and a bit scared. I’ve got my massive bag of fun shit that I packed and I’m very grateful for those suggestions!

OP posts:
ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 00:47

I feel very pathetic but I can give my old username if it helps anyone believe I’m not a troll!

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 21/10/2025 00:47

Love to you and a hand hold. That sounds really tough and I've got everything crossed for you that tomorrow is an improvement and a better day

MrsPerfect12 · 21/10/2025 00:47

I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time. Please take my hand.

Justanothernametoday · 21/10/2025 00:50

Hand hold here too. Sounds like a really tough day, hoping that you recover well.

ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 00:50

I’m going to theatre within the next hour it looks like. They’ve just put a massive grey cannula in for rapid fluids and blood transfusion. Bloody hell that hurt !!

Can I have a hand hold please ?
OP posts:
AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 00:52

Oh live I'm so sorry to read all of that.

here's a lovely clean pair of hands to hold ✋🏼 🤚🏼 I know how scary it is. & I may be back for more surgery myself (parathyroid glands)

it IS good they're into it & hopefully they can get you sorted soon & you can then get done rest, the exhaustion won't be helping 🫶🏻🌸

AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 00:53

ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 00:47

I feel very pathetic but I can give my old username if it helps anyone believe I’m not a troll!

I can associate with the 'pathetic' feelung 🤗💕

ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 00:57

Yes I think I’m feeling a bit emotional because of the GA? I’m exhausted

OP posts:
Imanautumn · 21/10/2025 00:57

How are you? Sending hugs and friendly thoughts.

AloneInTheWorld1 · 21/10/2025 00:59

Big hugs to you. Hope you feel better soon ❤️

AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 01:06

Just to give you a wee giggle, Several years ago I had emergency surgery to replace my shoulder I'd smashed up, full replacement. Could barely wiggle my fingers after. Let alone move my arm from my body. Enormous catheter in the other arm, hooked up to two drips.... barely any staff around. They wanted to remove my (urine) catheter. I refused because I didn't want to end up sitting in wee soaked bed sheets to add to my situation, they didn't seem to think that was reasonable 🙄🙄. Maybe you had to be there?!?!

anyway, hope you're away down getting sorted now xx

ByeByeThyroid · 21/10/2025 01:08

AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 01:06

Just to give you a wee giggle, Several years ago I had emergency surgery to replace my shoulder I'd smashed up, full replacement. Could barely wiggle my fingers after. Let alone move my arm from my body. Enormous catheter in the other arm, hooked up to two drips.... barely any staff around. They wanted to remove my (urine) catheter. I refused because I didn't want to end up sitting in wee soaked bed sheets to add to my situation, they didn't seem to think that was reasonable 🙄🙄. Maybe you had to be there?!?!

anyway, hope you're away down getting sorted now xx

That sounds pretty reasonable not to want to have an accident!!

OP posts:
StarlightinWC1 · 21/10/2025 01:18

I’m very sorry to hear you’re feeling so bad. I hope they can sort you out and that you’ll be feeling better soon. 🌺

MoggiMay · 21/10/2025 01:23

This sounds awful for you, you’re incredibly brave and I am sending you the very best of vibes. Fingers crossed it’s all sorted for you soon. Thinking of you Flowers

coxesorangepippin · 21/10/2025 01:24

Sounds like you need a hand hold

💐

Hope you are feeling better soon 💖

Barkyboots · 21/10/2025 01:48

Sending you warm wishes in the small hours. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling a bit wonky and scared. Hang in there, hope you’ll feel much better soon.

Goshgoshgosh · 21/10/2025 01:58

Sending a hand hold. Hopefully it’ll all be sorted in a few hours!

Clarinet1 · 21/10/2025 01:59

Oh poor OP - I’ve had several hospital stays including open heart surgery so I know what it’s like - have a handhold and an unmumsnetty hug from me.

Givenupshopping · 21/10/2025 03:27

Sending hugs and best wishes your way. Hopefully tomorrow will be much better, but if not, we're all here if you need support.

FamousSideeye · 21/10/2025 03:48

Blimey OP, you’ve got a lot going on. I feel really sorry for you! I hope you feel a lot better soon.

LozzaCh0ps · 21/10/2025 04:04

That sounds really grotty OP, you poor thing! I hope they’ve sorted you out by now and you’re able to get some rest, you must be exhausted! Night time in a hospital always feels even worse. Sending the quickest healing vibes to you!!!

HaroldMeaker · 21/10/2025 04:23

Aww bless you op, that’s a lot to contend with. I hope the rest of the night goes smoothly and you are a bit more comfortable. Wishing you a speedy recovery 💐

AutumnCosy2025 · 21/10/2025 04:49

I hope you're asleep now & feel so much better in the morning xx

apparengly my body thinks sleep is for other people 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Standingtree · 21/10/2025 04:55

I hope today is a success for you, hand hold and lots of love and hope for a better rest of the week.I sounds very painful but your'e doing great.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 21/10/2025 04:57

If you are reading this you have now got through that worry. Take all the drugs they offer you. The morphine will help. Keep is posted as you recover. X