I’m so angry on my friends behalf

[lessee167]

My Best Friend is not in a very happy marriage. Her Husband has always been a tricky character and is very very tight with money. I think he’s financially abusive she thinks he’s just a bit tight. They mainly have separate finances but this benefits him much more than her.

Any way, they have an online shop delivered once a week, they both add to it as needed. Today it’s been delivered and her sanitary towels were not on it. She assumed they were out of stock so she logged on to check the order and saw they had been removed. She asked her husband and he replied “you can pay for your own luxuries from your own money”.

I mean this is just ridiculous, it’s not as if she had added expensive face cream or make up! It would be the final straw for me

He doesn't love her does he.

its just so petty and childish. Maybe she should refuse to buy toilet roll as he uses more than her.

He thinks sanitary towels are luxuries?

Fucking hell, that is horrible. What a complete arsehole.

Seriously, a grown man in 2025 calling sanitary products a " luxury" item? He knows what he's doing. He's being purposefully abusive.

She needs to go.
He has no love or respect for her.

WTAF 😱

Weird

Luxuries? She should free bleed on his side of the bed, see how the bastard likes it then.

I really hope this is the straw that breaks the camels back and she sees him for who he is.

I would fucking punch someone if they referred to period products as 'luxuries'.

That’s horrible. Shows he doesn’t care about her at all

Does this guy know what periods are, or does he think sanitary towels are just little cushions for your labia, like those weird padded shorts cyclists wear?

I hope she leaves him too. People like him don’t deserve a wife and family.

She should free bleed in their bed and apologise but say she had no pads and didn't have a choice. On his side of the bed.

I’d say he’s more than financially abusive, emotionally abusive also at-least . As experienced with DV/DA
personally and professionally myself.
I’d say this is only just a small sign of how much he emotionally controls your friend.
I’m sorry for her, my advice would be to just be an supportive friend, let her vent, but also teach her, how this isn’t ok, or normal and actually how damaging this is for her, and be her escape if needs be.
There are lots of resources online to support women and men.
I know it may sound like I’m jumping the gun to some, but this isn’t ok, his whole attitude just screams controlling.
Emotional abuse is very real and horrible to go through.
This is a sure sign of it if this is a constant attitude of his.
I hope she builds confidence to leave and have a life where she feels valued and respected.
sanitary products are an essential and can be very cheap, he sounds absolutely disgusting and she deserves so much more than that type of vile man. Glad she has a friend like you to not condone this type of behaviour ❤️

He hates her.

I've read a lot of accounts of jaw-dropping selfishness from husbands on MN over the years, but this is pure downright nastiness.

I think, decades ago, there may have been ignorance on the part of many men about the reality of periods - but even then, it would normally have come with an acceptance that they don't really understand, and not with the ultra arrogant declaration that 'they know better' than their womenfolk.

I agree with PP: this is his way of telling her that he hates her (I don't think 'doesn't love' goes nearly far enough) and that he sees her as absolutely worthless in his eyes.

He's unequivocally set out his stall; what is she going to do now in response?

I’m struggling to believe that any adult could think this way but men constantly lower the bar every day so maybe it’s true.

I’m really hoping she leaves him but he has her so beaten down. It’s all so subtle as well. All I can be is a friend to listen and I will.

Dear god, I’ve no words. What a horrid specimen of a creature. Can she leave him?

And the sofa.

Or she could cut up his favourite clothes to make some homemade sanitary towels.

He sounds absolutely foul. Do they have children? Can she kick him out?

They do, early teens. They have been together since their teens (now early 40s). She is just used to his behaviour but this seems to have struck a cord with her now. It’s so petty and mean.

Of course he doesn't really think sanitary pads are luxuries 🙄

He doesn't like or love her which is why he treats her this way and he doesn't respect her because she 'lets' him treat her this way.

At this point, he's just descended into absolute contempt and is playing with her for his own amusement. He might as well be pulling the legs of a spider.