Husbands chastity cage

[BeShyPlumLeader]

I recently found a metal chastity cage (for a males anatomy) in my husbands cupboard. Obviously a bit of a shock.

For background - marriage isn't good, no sex for over 2 years, separate beds, talk of separating. Stayed together because of the kids tbh. I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting it elsewhere tbh. But a .... cage!? Wtf...

What would u think? I don't want to tell him I've found it (yet)

You seem to know OP’s thoughts better than she does.

'Also, we shouldn’t really be judging people based on their kinks, in 2025'

Exactly. The op should be asking how to split and move forward as their marriage is dead.

Whatever sex toys anyone uses in a situation like this is irrelevant.

Gosh, I feel that I've had a sheltered life. I've never come across one of those before and probably would have burst out laughing if I did. Some of them look quite alarming.

Indeed. What if she found a vibe would some posters excitedly announce 'he is gay!'

Sexual activity does not always start and end with missionary with the lights out.

I have been educated as I didn't know about such things.

Or they're confused as to why the OP can't simply post a photo of it?

Because maybe I don't bloody want to post a photo of it!? The photo I have is of it laid out on a quite identifiable duvet cover, in my home. I simply do not want to do that - is that OK with you? I tried to post a link to the one it is but MN blocked it.

Honestly most people on here have been lovely and helped me know I wasn't being silly by being bothered by this find. But some of you are batshit.

I don't think I have attempted to shame him have I? I was a bit shocked yes, but if that's what he's into then he is! As I've said about a million times now I was interested to know if people thought it was some kind of joke... read the thread!?

I'm going to stop answering now because it is getting exhausting. Thank u all for your help xx

To be fair I know more women who have come out whilst married as gay than men

OP, I wasn’t suggesting you were trying to shame him, I was referring to other posters who were inferring it was something he should be ashamed of.

Shame him all you want love, your husband sounds like a deviant and deserves to be shamed IMO, anyone but she shocked to find that!

'Shame him all you want love, your husband sounds like a deviant and deserves to be shamed IMO, anyone but she shocked to find that!'

It's a cock cage. Folk need to calm down. The problem here is the dead marriage not what sex toys either are using.

Talking of Deep Heat.

When DH was still playing rugby he sustained a muscle strain at the top of his thigh. Not thinking he sprayed Deep Heat on it. He was soon running around the house with his boxers around his ankles shouting 'My bollocks are on fire! It's not funny - stop laughing!' I'd recently given birth to our DD & was having to sit on a rubber ring due to stiches in my perineum, so yes, compared with that it was hilarious. 😂😂

I agree , the dead marriage is the most important aspect
I would sit him down and ask him what is it for and if he gets turned on with it then you put it on him and lock him up so at least then you know he cannot play around and you keep the key

Agreed.
No wonder some men are so secretive about their fantasies, if this is how people respond!

If it’s not your cup of tea, fair enough. It doesn’t mean he deserves to be called a “deviant”. I'm not particularly excited by chastity play, but I’d never shame somebody who was.

This comment made me laugh out loud 🤣

Got me listening to

I would have thought this kind of device would be more likely used with someone else (online or in person) rather than solo though? If I found one in my partner's drawer I'd wonder who he'd been using it with. Also it's a pretty niche thing so not that surprising for it to be a shock to find it, it's understandable to want to discuss that on an anonymous forum. Of course discovering something pretty big and surprising about your partner after knowing and living with them for years is going to be a shock, especially if it suggests they might have been cheating.

It's anonymous, the OP's partner isn't going to read it.

Are you sure it's mot a larson trip for trapping magpies ?
Take a photo of it.
I'd put it on the table ready for dinner and say 'do u care to explain this please'

OP I know you are fed up with the comments on here from those who think you are making this scenario up, so you may not be back. But just in case you do come back to check on the comments, I just wanted to say that I (in common with most on this thread) absolutely believe you. Also, I can tell you, in solidarity, that I once named my husband's job quite casually in a post on here and someone came on to comment and with 100% categorical conviction said I must be lying about everything because "that job doesn't exist"! WTF... my DH had only been doing the job (and getting quite well paid for it) for 40 years... And I wasn't lying about the rest, either. Some people on here (a minority) are batsh*t.

I think he might want to be a cuckold.

LOL ! 😆

This. He's gay and a "bottom".

Or, he’s into orgasm denial/restriction and is still a heterosexual.

The issue isn’t what he may or may not be into, it’s the communication and hiding it in a cupboard.

He's clearly into bdsm. They haven't been intimate for years, who can blame anyone getting their kicks how they can in that scenario.

They need to split rather than snooping in wardrobes imo. Sad yes but discussing the sex toy seems rather to be ignoring the elephant in the room.

We'll have someone post a link next to an adult shop and asking the op to identify it. It doesnt really matter! He's doing something other than pursue his dw sexually, that is the issue.

I'm sorry, but that video (and its lyrics) takes the idea of room 101 to new and horrifying depths