Husbands chastity cage

[BeShyPlumLeader]

I recently found a metal chastity cage (for a males anatomy) in my husbands cupboard. Obviously a bit of a shock.

For background - marriage isn't good, no sex for over 2 years, separate beds, talk of separating. Stayed together because of the kids tbh. I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting it elsewhere tbh. But a .... cage!? Wtf...

What would u think? I don't want to tell him I've found it (yet)

it is imperative that the cylinder remains unharmed...

As many have said, the sex toy is just a red herring and not really anything to do with you if you don't have a sexual relationship with him. If you want to continue to be partners and live together that's fine if it suits both, but people of both sexes use sex toys and if he is not in a sexual relationship with you, why should you necessarily know what he uses?

Blimey what has happened to AIBU? Yesterday it was pegging and today it's chastity cages?

PMSL 😂

If he’s having an affair, obviously that’s an issue. If he’s just using it to indulge a fetish, that’s none of your business.

You clearly really dislike him on every level and you lead separate lives, so to be honest I don’t think a sex toy is of any consequence.

Cuckoldry and BDSM may overlap. Especially when the wife and 'bull' verbally and physically abuse the cuckolded man.

Sex toys for women are celebrated (these days, and rightly imho) as objects of pleasure and liberation.
One day sex toys for men might not simply be seen as objects of ridicule. It's a slower evolution of attitudes.

😂😂😂 Mate, that's on you! I saw the implement for the first time too and I wondered no such thing!

I won't disclose that, but it's generally true. A sub would not have custody of the cage. He will be using it on his sub. Makes sense since OP said he was dominant in bed. Where did you get your information that plenty of people with no dominant partner use cages? They are literally for a dominant partner to control the sub's erection. Their entire purpose, in fact, is to control another's erection, not your own erection. It's true that he could be a switch, but generally this is a piece of Dom equipment to use on a partner who is playing the sub role.

I still don't see how it would make him more compliant. He's entitled to the same rights in divorce as someone who isn't using a chastity cage, and his lawyer will inform him of that.

I suppose it depends if he's easily cowed. He might cave to a worse arrangement than he's entitled to, I guess, if OP were to threaten to unveil his tastes. But that would be blackmail. While adultery isn't against the law, and neither are chastity cages, black mail is illegal.

I don’t think you can say one way or the other. I wouldn’t jump to him being gay based off this. I knew a sub who had such a cage and kept it at his place. Maybe if he’s seeing someone they might not be in the position to keep such things at their place. There could be lots of reasons.

I don’t understand why people never ask the person directly. If you are planning to separate anyway then you need to pull off the plaster and talk about it. Strangers on the internet can’t answer this question for you and it only delays the inevitable.

"Is it definitely a chastity cage? Do you have any pets? Could it be to transport a small rodent"

Funny thing is, she will tell you that is the name he has for his willy

I think OP's husband is COMPLETELY in the wrong for cheating, but I don't agree with all the kink-shaming. Shame the cheating, sure, but there's a bit of an uptight medieval attitude to kink on here!

Yes, this is true. There are always exceptions. That's why I said it's generally true, not always true.

I have known some doms/dommes - one of my good friends is a dominatrice in her private life and a respectable, stern teacher at a top school by day 😂 - and they would never allow their sub control of their own "funishment" equipment.

😂😂😂

I don't think it's grim. I think people who use them probably get a ton of fun out of them! I have no use for them myself, but I can see how it would be hot to control a man's erection as a part of kink play. (With his enthusiastic consent, of course.)

Not true. It can be used for that but not exclusively. They’ve been in existence for centuries in some cultures in different forms. When caged anal orgasms are heightened. By restricting the penis other parts of the body respond differently to sensual touch. (Bit like a blindfold you rely on other senses).

The kink shaming on here is sad and somewhat archaic. And if he and the OP don't have a sexual relationship, as I said above, it's not really her business unless it somehow impacts on her life or those of the kids. Why would she not just negotiate a split, why would she want to blackmail him?

😂😂😂😂😂😂 This is on par with the small-rodent comment, which made me PMSL!

😂😂🤣🤣 Omg, the responses! Wondering if this thread is a candidate for Classics!

Is it definitely a chastity cage? Do you have any pets? Could it be to transport a small rodent?

Sorry but that made me 😂😂😂😂

What if kink shaming is your kink, what THEN?

@BeShyPlumLeader I'd have some fun with this. Act very innocent, display it pride of place in the lounge, and say you found this really cool abstract ornament in the cupboard so thought it needed showing off.

From being involved in the kink community. Lots of people wear them, for example, as part of an outfit to an event. Others,as someone else said, just like the idea of having it on underneath their every day clothes.