How far away are you from your parents?

[Starvingbutnothingin]

Driving time wise?

Currently live abroad, but want to move back to be closer to my parents, now they’re getting a little older. We’ve seen a great job for Dh (my job is much easier to find in every area, Dh’s not so much) it’s 30 minutes drive from my parents, is this close enough? I was hoping to be close enough to just nip over when needed and for them too, is 30 minutes a bit far or average?

We're only about a 10 minute drive from my parents, but about a 40 minute drive from my partner's parents. I would say 30 mins away is pretty close

5 mins from my dad, see him usually once a month, sometimes more. 45 mins from my mum, see her every couple of months. 50 mins from DH's dad, see him every 3-4 months. DH's mum in Spain. Not seen her for over three years.

30 mins isn't too far but it depends whether you think you will need to get involved in care needs. If you've got kids, a full time job and hobbies, 30 minutes isn't a "nip round" journey.

3 minutes. About a 10 minute walk.

They are both dead , so far away it hurts.

I'm 10+ hrs drive. I will not be doing care for them in their older age - they chose to move that far away from me!

But agree that 30mins driving is a PITA to pop in into see someone on the daily - that's an hour or more just in the driving every time.

Are you sure you want to be at their beck and call? It's a huge change in your lives.

@Frostine - me too 😰

10 mins from my mum. It's great. Very easy to pop in, but not drop in unannounced as it's a definite car journey to a different town.

We are 10-15 mins away from DH mum, his DF died a couple of years ago. DH pops in to see his mum a few times a week and we see her as a family regularly. We are 2.5hrs from my parents but it’s irrelevant as we are NC.

Five days drive sadly
Canada is too big sometimes

5 minutes drive from my parents and in laws- makes life very easy for me. However 30 minutes is a damn site closer than you are now? They might decide to move nearer to you once you are home. If it works for you as a family I’d be inclined to see it as a vast improvement on the current situation?

60 miles, I moved back from a long way away to be closer to them. It’s ok, just over an hour. I don’t pop in because it’s too far for that but I do visit twice a month for the day.

About 2-3hrs

40 minute drive. See them every couple weeks, although my mum now picks my kids up from school/nursery once a week so will see her weekly.
My mother in law is about 15 minutes drive, she helps with child care as well and we see her a couple times a week.
I don't drive but regularly visit both sets of parents with the kids in the holidays

Five minutes in the car.

Could you live halfway between work and parents- 15 minutes each way?

40 mins from mum, 25 from dad. I see them at least once a week.

Driving - about 40 seconds once the the car is started.
Walking - about 3 minutes at a slow stroll.
I’m very lucky.
We are about 10 minutes drive from MIL but I can walk it in 30 minutes if I get some speed up.
I’m in walking distance of both of my siblings and my aunts and uncles as well.

I would have hated to live miles from home.

5 minute drive/10 minute walk to my Mum's, a three hour drive from my Dad (he chose to move further away). A 90 minute drive from my PIL (accounting for London traffic) but we aren't in contact with them.

4 hrs drive. Wish we lived close enough for a day trip and didn't have to stay over. For your situation, 30 mins sounds fine, but it depends on how independent your parents are going to be, or will they want you around every 5 mins to help with stuff?

3,505 miles with the Atlantic Ocean between us

20+ hour drive from my family.
15 minutes from DH

Roughly 45 minutes bus journey to my mother, my dad died in 2022.

Far too close IMO, 45,000 miles would be better.

5hr drive. Planning to move in 18 months, but still planning to be between 45-60 mins away, closer to my work. But easy to drive over for the day, and a lot closer than I have been for the last 24yrs. I wouldn't want to be in the same town, our relationship is better with some distance and i do enjoy staying overnight there, few days at a time. I could choose whether to go for the day or weekend, or work there for a few days.

Living so close is an absolute godsend when MIL calls to say she is stuck in the bath or can’t turn the heating on etc.
My parents haven’t reached that stage yet, but I know I will find it much easier being so close.

10 minutes from my mum.