To just be waiting to eventually die?

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

Just that really.
Everything else in between is a bit crap!

I suffer with depression and anxiety and also diagnosed with ADHD and I often feel this way. I've had great parts of life but also a lot of hardship. Sometimes I feel I can't do it anymore.

do something with your life that is of value to others then

@leftkneeonbackwards I'm a qualified teacher so can't find work now that no qualifications are needed.

really? We cant fill vacancies

@leftkneeonbackwards Nobody wants to employ an old bird with 20 years' experience.

Is that what is upsetting you? This doesn't match my experience at all - what is your subject? what area of the country are you in?

@leftkneeonbackwards Primary, England. TAs can cover classes for a fraction of the cost!

This is hardly fair. It’s awful to feel depressed.

@Woodstocks Tell me about your lifestyle...

Or we could understand that people may have reasons for feeling like death is the answer?

@Hellodarknessmyfriend have you ever spoken to anyone about how you feel?

@Beatrixslobber Thank you. I miss my sons a lot, too x

@Beatrixslobber I had counselling but a) can't afford that now b) not allowed time off work to attend.

We are all destined to die. That's a fact.

sitting around just waiting for it is a choice. It may be that choice is made because of mental ill health reasons. I appreciate that. But it's the "waiting around" that is the choice.

no one is going to give you the curse of eternal life. That's not to say you should sit around waiting for the inevitable.

Try not to

Every morning that I open the bedroom blind I'm grateful to be able to experience another day. I didn't think I'd see my eldest start school and have, each day is a blessing but tomorrow is never promised. Don't get me wrong some days the black curtain rolls down and I am absolutely terrified of cancer occurrence/leaving my husband and young children behind. Every day I work on those triggers and try to not let it consume me. I know if that black curtain sits and doesn't roll back up pretty sharpishly then I spiral

Please reach out for help if you are struggling to climb out of the black hole this time.

Where can you teach with no qualifications? I know legally independents and academy’s can employ non qualified teachers, but it is a lot rarer compared to years ago for Indy’s, and academy’s hardly ever do it as they get slated for it

@user1471453601 I guess the difference is I can't wait?

Hope you’re okay OP💐 I can relate BIG time.

Currently off work, trying to pull myself out of a hole but don’t have the motivation to do much really.

Of course YANBU to feel the way you do. I hope you have some support in real life. But if not, there are plenty of people here willing to listen to you.

I have felt like this since I graduated.

Are you actually depressed or are people just assuming?

@Notamum12345577 TAs cover classes now.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend my lovely, I felt exactly like this last year - literally this time last year. Hopeless. Bored yet stressed. Anxious. Tearful. No joy. Waiting for life to be over.
I've been on ADs since then and my life has changed. Please talk to someone.

I know it is easier said than done, but if you are feeling as low as it seems, try and speak to a gp tomorrow. If you open up to the reception hopefully you will get an appointment

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Woodstocks. Life doesn’t work like that. You can have every advantage life can offer and still feel utterly hopeless and that life isn’t worth living. if your argument worked, no safe, rich, talented and much loved person would ever take their life! I thought we’d got past the ‘What have you got to be depressed about ‘ attitude.

OP I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. I wish I could take this feeling away for you. Have you told anyone how bad you feel?