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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I broke wind on the massage table

116 replies

oopsO · 15/03/2024 21:20

I'm so embarrassed.

My long time massage therapist had to put pressure on my lower back and it just came out.

I've spoken to her about all sorts in the 4 years she's been treating my back pain. I quite enjoy going to see her.

I'm mortified and I can't go back, can I?!

OP posts:
WittyMotherhoodRelatedPun · 15/03/2024 21:22

I should imagine it’s very common.

People who work with bodies see this sort of thing all the time. I doubt she’ll even remember it specifically tbh. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it 😊

RatatouillePie · 15/03/2024 21:22

Seriously?

It's a fart. Everyone farts.

LordEmsworth · 15/03/2024 21:22

I don't know how to vote. YABU to think you can't go back, YANBU to have farted. Everyone does it, she'll be used to it.

HussellRobbs · 15/03/2024 21:23

Oh no! Of course you can go back! It’s an occupational hazard for her, she is used to it.

I went for a massage last week with full on hair legs, now that was cringe!

HighCortisolIsMyName · 15/03/2024 21:24

No your right you cant go back, shes already wrote on your file "Farty McFart Pants" and shes currently drinking a glass of wine whilst laughing to her friends about it. This will go down in history

🤣🤣🤣

Or, more likely, shes probably already forgot as 4 more people have farted near her today

Bogeyes · 15/03/2024 21:25

The answer my friend is blowin in the wind....

LunaNorth · 15/03/2024 21:26

Could have been worse. Could have been the dinner table.

FLOWER1982 · 15/03/2024 21:27

I think I nodded off one time and woke myself up with a snore! It happens.

Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 21:27

Once I farted in the back of a taxi, it was silent so I thought I had got away with it. Unfortunately it smelt. I sat in the back praying the smell wouldn't reach the driver in the front but then he silently would the window down. It was a cold, wet day. There is no other reason he would have wound it down.
Normally I chat to the drivers but that was the longest, most silent taxi ride of my life.
I now use a different firm so I have to feel guilty not only at gassing an innocent man but in the loss of profits to a good company who served me well for years.

Anyway, hopefully you don't feel so alone now

difficultspaghetti · 15/03/2024 21:28

Don't be silly, she's not going to put you down on the system as Shitty Arse. I doubt she cares, it's a natural reaction.

Macaroni46 · 15/03/2024 21:28

WittyMotherhoodRelatedPun · 15/03/2024 21:22

I should imagine it’s very common.

People who work with bodies see this sort of thing all the time. I doubt she’ll even remember it specifically tbh. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it 😊

Actually they hear it all the time 😂

Seriously OP, I wouldn't give it another thought.

blackandgold88 · 15/03/2024 21:29

FLOWER1982 · 15/03/2024 21:27

I think I nodded off one time and woke myself up with a snore! It happens.

I did this when having acupuncture! It was so relaxing, next thing I was asleep and woke myself up with a massive snort 😳

Macaroni46 · 15/03/2024 21:30

Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 21:27

Once I farted in the back of a taxi, it was silent so I thought I had got away with it. Unfortunately it smelt. I sat in the back praying the smell wouldn't reach the driver in the front but then he silently would the window down. It was a cold, wet day. There is no other reason he would have wound it down.
Normally I chat to the drivers but that was the longest, most silent taxi ride of my life.
I now use a different firm so I have to feel guilty not only at gassing an innocent man but in the loss of profits to a good company who served me well for years.

Anyway, hopefully you don't feel so alone now

This had me laughing out loud

NerdWhoEatsMedlar · 15/03/2024 21:31

Give it another 10 or 20 years and you'll be demanding a refund if you don't break wind.

Sparklesocks · 15/03/2024 21:32

It’s common in massages don’t worry! Everything is being squeezed and prodded and moving things around! Your masseuse has probably seen (and smelt 😁) it all.

PrancerandDancer · 15/03/2024 21:38

I farted in yoga tonight if it makes you feel better 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
oopsO · 15/03/2024 21:44

Some of these replies are hilarious and making me feel better!

Hopefully my back won't hurt for another 6 weeks and she won't remember by the time I go back...😬😂

OP posts:
Shiningout · 15/03/2024 21:49

Applescruffle · 15/03/2024 21:27

Once I farted in the back of a taxi, it was silent so I thought I had got away with it. Unfortunately it smelt. I sat in the back praying the smell wouldn't reach the driver in the front but then he silently would the window down. It was a cold, wet day. There is no other reason he would have wound it down.
Normally I chat to the drivers but that was the longest, most silent taxi ride of my life.
I now use a different firm so I have to feel guilty not only at gassing an innocent man but in the loss of profits to a good company who served me well for years.

Anyway, hopefully you don't feel so alone now

😂😂😂😂😂 I would shrivel up and die

MrsArcher23 · 15/03/2024 22:09

Why do males of all ages laugh and cheer at a fart (whether 18 months, 8 years, 18 or even 80) but women are embarrassed?
I enjoy my weekly Pilates class but there's a certain stage in the class where I have to focus on not farting. Based on the squeaks I hear around me, I'm not the only one...

nimski · 15/03/2024 22:13

FLOWER1982 · 15/03/2024 21:27

I think I nodded off one time and woke myself up with a snore! It happens.

Me too! 🤣

T1Dmama · 15/03/2024 22:16

It’s probably very common.
Id just not mention it again 😂

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 15/03/2024 22:16

I did gymnastics as a kid/early teen and we would often fart when we were trying to maintain different handstands, elbow stands, stretches etc. We’d be in hysterics. Totally get why you’re not though!

Netaporter · 15/03/2024 22:20

I farted once out of surprise during a massage in the Middle East because the tiny Filipino lady jumped into my back without any warning. At that moment, I don’t know who was the most surprised.

Another time I accidentally let rip as my easy-on-the -eye tennis coach was helping me my serve. That was mortifying 😂

echt · 15/03/2024 22:22

Years ago I gave gardening advice for a friend who gave me a massage as a swap. One of the first things she said was that farts were usual and not to be embarrassed. Like others. I fell asleep.

2024istheyearforme · 15/03/2024 23:27

It's embarrassing but actually lots of people will fart when getting a massage of the back area or when legs are lifted during aeg message. It is quite common :)