I broke wind on the massage table

[oopsO]

I'm so embarrassed.

My long time massage therapist had to put pressure on my lower back and it just came out.

I've spoken to her about all sorts in the 4 years she's been treating my back pain. I quite enjoy going to see her.

I'm mortified and I can't go back, can I?!

Oh my god this made me laugh so much - the image of the window silently being lowered.

I do think it's common , I'm a bit older now and had one sneak out just as I was getting a smear (silent) I did warn the nurse though ! She laughed . I was in hospital receiving medication and I had a reaction to it . With the pain I was farting like a trooper and no one cared .

Wherever you may be, let the wind run free!

You’re all good OP, farting in a place that feels ‘inappropriate’ make the best stories. I’ve been cracking up reading some of these. My fav was the lady farting near her tennis coach 😂😂

I once farted loudly getting off a boingy water-massage bed in a swanky 5* spa. Started to laugh silently and had to pretend I was dizzy so I could sit and compose myself for a minute. Eventually left the treatment room and met my daughter in the corridor, whereupon I started to laugh so hard I couldn’t walk and could barely breathe. DD looked at me, rolled her eyes and said “You farted getting off the table, didn’t you?”

I emitted a bum squeak at work today. It was beyond my control. I work in a secondary school but thankfully my kids never heard.

At other times my farts make a sort of clapping sound. I've quite a big arse so maybe the air gets trapped? My daughter once delightedly exclaimed that it sounded like my bum was giving a round of applause

😆

I farted on the chiropractor table once, that was mortifying.

I'm scared on escalators because of a bad hip. Yesterday I finally jumped on the one in Primark which is quite fast and farted, there was no no-one in front of me and a family behind me. I fled 🤭

I was having a manicure once and I had one hand on the lamp and the nail technician was working on the other hand. I sneezed and a huge cob of snot shot out of my nostril. I was totally mortified. I think I’d rather fart during a massage

Watch Ed Gamble’s stand up comedy special on Amazon prime. It’s called Blood Sugar. His massage story will make you laugh!

My DS came out of a hypnotherapy session a few days ago and said ' It's strange - I don't really remember any of the details of what the hypnotherapist says to me while I'm under, but I do remember him doing a really squeaky fart today' 🤣

I was checking a patients skin once and they farted right in my face. We had a great rapport and I couldn’t do anything for laughing. Happens to all of us, don’t worry.

If it smelled, don't go back 😂
If it didn't, go back!

It must be so easy to sneak one out in a class room , considering it's full of kids anyway and half of them love a fart anyway 😂

If it makes you feel any better @oopsO my arse was quacking like a duck when I was having a colonic 😂

I'm a therapist and had a first session with a client. Nervous client and a very somber session. At the end I stood up to show him to the door and out came a fart I didn't expect. Just a kind of toot. I was mortified but pretended nothing had happened and thankfully the client didn't acknowledge it either. He's on session 15 now so he's either not noticed or knowing his therapist farted somehow helped him feel comfortable. You're fine OP.

I should say it’s fine, but there’s no way I could go back!

lol I did this at my chiropractor’s and burst into a fit of giggles like a school child! I then embarrassingly and apologetically explained how I’d been having trapped wind so that really must have helped. He was very polite about it and kindly recommended some remedies for trapped wind 🤣 I have been back since so you definitely can!!

I farted in a lift once.

It was wrong on every level.

Badum tish 🥁

I’m in convulsions here, laughing at these stories 😆
My DH is asleep and I’m shaking with laughter, trying not to snort too much 😂

My Friend is a masseuse and said she sees it as that she’s done her job properly if a fart slips out.

My friends daughter (17) is training to be a beauty therapist and has just started learning waxing, she was absolutely distraught the other day because a women had queefed in her face whilst doing an intimate wax.
I asked how she reacted and she said she’d said “bless you!”
Apparently the woman she was waxing was mortified but at least was able to laugh about it.

Are you Miranda OP? 😂

“John Aubrey, the diarist, tells a story about the Earl of Oxford. When the Earl made a low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth I he happened to let go a fart, at which he was so ashamed that he left the country for 7 years. At his return the Queen welcomed him and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”!”

Thank you for this thread. I've woken up DH laughing so hard!

Of course you can go back.

I once dropped a huge one in front of a class of 15 people in my martial arts class.

I was asked to demonstrate a particular kick slowly, so I did and as doing it, dropped a real noisy one.

Only way out of that was to say "you don't have to do that bit when doing this".