I broke wind on the massage table

[oopsO]

I'm so embarrassed.

My long time massage therapist had to put pressure on my lower back and it just came out.

I've spoken to her about all sorts in the 4 years she's been treating my back pain. I quite enjoy going to see her.

I'm mortified and I can't go back, can I?!

These stories have been really funny!

I’m a massage therapist and honestly i take farts/snoring and drooling as a sign I’m doing my job well.

I also don’t notice or judge if your legs and arm pits are hairy! Women do this a lot, apologise for hairy legs, why would I be offended

Also feet, 👣 people often apologise for “weird” feet
We all have bodies and our bodies have functions. Go back OP, as a self employed therapist she would be far more gutted to lose a client she likes and has massaged for years over a fart! xx

One of the first times my brother brought his new girlfriend (now wife) round to meet the family, my prim and proper mum bent down in the kitchen to pick something up and let rip. She was mortified and kept apologising to the GF. Me and my brother were doubled over. Its been 15 years and we still laugh about it. Mum does see the funny side now!

Thank you, I'm laughing at these stories and feeling confident about my return to the table 😆

I farted during sex once huge one i was mortified.😳
I mean HUGE it echoed.
Grabbed my dress and ran out the door never to return i can still hear his laughter.
I still die a little now when the thought pops in my head 20 years on.
Dont worry about the massage it could have been worse see above.

I had to fart after my c section before I was allowed solid food (to be sure my bowels weren’t blocked). Until then I could only eat yoghurt and soup, and I had gestational diabetes with my pregnancy so as you can imagine I was keen to get stuck into some non GD friendly food!

problem was I just couldn’t go. I came back from my section at 10. and didn’t fart all day, just sat sadly at dinnertime while the other patients tucked into sausage and mash and I had cup a soup. Went to bed still fartless.

The next morning I felt a rumble in my tummy and sat up and let out the loudest, brassiest knee-trembler of a fart I’d done in my life. It was so loud the mum in the next bed with hearing problems loudly exclaimed ‘oh!’ from behind the curtain. A midwife even congratulated me. It was so embarrassing- yet victorious.

Clicked on this thread only for the hilarious replies.

It didn't disappoint.

DC's headteacher farted squeakily when talking to me about something serious. It only made me like her more.

Meh, expect it happens all the time. Probably a compliment to the efficiency of the masseuse, like a burp after a good meal.

I do this every time I have a massage or facial. I pre-warn the therapist. Apparently it’s common, as most of us are knackered when we have them.

Well when I had a massage a couple of years ago the masseuse farted and then tried to blame me by saying I had passed my wind to her!

I remember the first time l farted in bed with my first boyfriend. I was DYING of embarrassment.
He just grinned, looked at me, rubbed his hands together, and said "Oh, excellent!"
I was still embarrassed, but it never bothered me as much after that.

My sister let one rip at the chiropractor once. It was literally brrrrrrpppppp. All of us in the waiting area cracked up 🤣

I have a condition that requires examination of my nether end.
So there I was bent over waiting for the specialist to 'do her thing' when I had to start thinking about something else - very quickly and very powerfully or she would have got a face full!!

🤣🤣 I've done it. I had forgotten about it within minutes.

You beat me to it, love this anecdote

I was prone to silent but deadlies before I worked out my IBS triggers. If I felt one brewing, I'd release it by the silly boys and let them blame each other 😂

Anything involving relaxing muscles, yoga, osteopath, massage is high risk for fart release.

Farted in yoga doing Downward Dog. A class with loads of work colleagues. Never lived it down. I was crying with laughter and rolling around, as they were.
We were told not to come back. Thing is, farts are never not funny. Miserable yoga loving gits.😁

I once did an sbd in a crowded pub. I was on the way to the loo and spotted a man I knew who would be blamed for the smell. I stopped to talk to him, did the sbd and carried on my way to the shouts of eewwww man you stink 🤣

"Farts are always funny" is the rule in our house.

I am a massage therapist and a yoga teacher and live in a houseful of blokes so I am surrounded by farting. (Never my own...oh no, Siree. Not me of course! )

When I was in a teacher friend's yoga class we couldn't look each other when someone farted as she would not hold herself together.

A massage tutor recently told me she had a long term client who just wasn't relaxing or settling. She asked her what was the matter and she admitted she had a sore belly from trapped wind. Tutor laughed and said "Well, give it a good fart then and we can continue". Client did and they could.

Bodies make noises. Some noises are funny. Any yoga teacher, massage therapist or anyone working with bodies who doesn't approve is in the wrong line of work.

Oh really?! That is miserable! My yoga teacher actually says 'sometimes a fart will come out' when people are in certain positions 😂

I think it was maybe more my disruptive laughter than the actual fart itself. I was laughing so much I couldn’t stand! It’s got me into trouble on more than one occasion which usually involves some sort of wind.

That's the best kind of laughter though! 😂😂

Don't worry about it OP. I am sure it happens all the while.
Many years ago while travelling on a boat for hours to get to a tiny island i had fallen asleep on my seat. I woke myself up by farting. My friends thought it was hilarious, but the guy sitting next to me didn't and moved away. It was so embarrassing.

I came round from an anaesthetic after surgery farting non-stop and very loudly. That was so embarrassing. I still cringe when I think about it.

I once farted insidiously at a bus stop. The student near me obviously smelled it. I gave her a look, aiming for 'oh wow what is that smell' hoping she would think it came from elsewhere. Unfortunately what I actually achieved was a 'it was ME' weird grin while staring her directly in the eyes creepily. The look of utter horror on her face stays with me today.