To think it’s rude not to respond?

[billiesunset]

Organising a meet up with the four women I went to uni with (not seen each other as a group since covid). It’s taken ages to find a date that works - but one didn’t bother to even acknowledge the suggestion of a meet up and never read the texts.

She did respond before the suggestion of the meet up to give us a life update etc

And just to say she of course doesn’t have to come (evidence suggests she doesn’t want to) but to blatantly ignore the messages I think is a pretty shitty thing to do. Aibu?

never read the texts.

so if she never reads text

she hasn’t been getting messages

so another means of comm would have been appropriate gifen. you know this

evidence suggests she doesn’t want to)

and the evidence suggests you’re not keen on her coming either

How do you come to that conclusion from the OP?

Sounds like you don't have up to date contact details for her.

YANBU OP, it's rude.

The rest of you carry on regardless and have a little birch about her when you meet up.

Yes its rude not to reply (although if she hasn't read the texts maybe she didn't even get then) but how does that stop the reat of you enjoying your get together?

you have just started another thread bitching about another friend saying they wouldn’t want to go to this reunion
You sound very unhappy this afternoon

Just exclude her and move on?

Has she actually received the texts? My mum and I text often but I don't always receive them

No I’d love her to come, she’s really fun to be around, she’s just flakey and has let me down numerous times in the past so yes I don’t like that part of her.

and you just started this thread bitching about someone not wanting to go!!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4994608-help-me-understand-my-friends-rudeness?reply=132560867

Are they group texts? Or individual texts?

She has got the messages, we spoke in that group chat at Christmas. The messages are all delivered, she read the one about meeting up - but all messages between us after that she’s just not bothered to read.

Group WhatsApp

Why are you sending texts and WhatsApps, thats a recipe for confusion , why not stick to one method if communicating?

Definitely do. Maybe I wasn’t clear in my OP, but one of the women sent a “happy Christmas, how is everyone” message and all of us responded. Then we started discussing meeting up and she read that message and now we’ve finally got a date sorted - I checked as she hadn’t replied to any and it just say “delivered”

All of this is through WhatsApp.

So no texts? It's a little confusing

I hope this happens - not the excluding part but I’m a bit conscious she might suddenly message later on saying she can’t do that date and we then can’t find another one that works and so it just doesn’t happen.

Like I said previously, she’s very flakey and I think even if she said yes there’s still a big chance she’d pull out last minute.

It’s a shame as it would be lovely to all be together as we all lived together and last time we met up was at one of their weddings and we had such a good time.

I just use texts/messages/WhatsApp interchangeably - appreciate it might have caused confusion.

All messages sent have been through the group WhatsApp. It’s definitely her correct number.

and you can see she doesn’t see them

this is baffling

and then throw in the other thread

and m beginning to think 🤔

When you leave university, there is always one person from a friendship group who loved uni life so much, they hang on and hang on to the friendship group. Eventually, the rest of the group gradually drift away, especially when they meet partners, have children, or create an even better friendship group in their new lives.

In the early stages of this process, there’s resistance and anger from the chief hangers-on directed towards the early drifters, and new partners who weren’t part of the original group.

If you’re lucky, and you behave well, you may be able to maintain some of the friendships.

I think it's probably time to accept that many close friendships or friendship groups drift apart as people progress and life paths vary.
Part of growing up (or getting old)

Thanks. Just feel a bit deflated - if that’s the right word? We all lived together, I even went to college with her. So it’s just sad that she cant even put in the effort to say no.

Oh well hopefully the four of us still go 😊