To think it’s rude not to respond?

[billiesunset]

Organising a meet up with the four women I went to uni with (not seen each other as a group since covid). It’s taken ages to find a date that works - but one didn’t bother to even acknowledge the suggestion of a meet up and never read the texts.

She did respond before the suggestion of the meet up to give us a life update etc

And just to say she of course doesn’t have to come (evidence suggests she doesn’t want to) but to blatantly ignore the messages I think is a pretty shitty thing to do. Aibu?

Guessing OP is bored and both this and the other thread where its 6 mates are just absolute nonsense.

It's funny how you're complaining about someone not acknowledging your message, yet every single post on here that mentions your other thread you've ignored... double standards much?

op

other than the life update she sent the group
how much contact have you had with this person over the last 4/5 years?

oh good point!

with this thread and the other - the OP doesn’t sound a happy bunny

Have you tried texting 'read your WhatsApp' I never read WhatsApp so someone always needs to give me some nudge if there is meet up info

or even, gasp, calling them

Definitely doesn't sound like a very good friend either going by these 2 dodgy posts and her double standards of doing the exact thing she's whining about 😂

My daughter recently mentioned she’d missed some whatsapp messages as her phone is running out of storage so it had “offloaded” whatsapp without her noticing- this meant she didn’t get any notifications about new messages. She doesn’t use whatsapp very often (hence why her phone offloaded it)- person messaging her said they were showing as being delivered so could this be the same situation?

No .. but I think it’s more of a I don’t want to put pressure on her? If that makes sense. It’s not until the summer and I even checked the restaurant on how early they can take bookings and it’s not until April. So maybe then is the time to ask.

Maybe? I think I’ll do as my most recent post and wait until things need to actually be booked and then reach out.

Would you still consider it rude not to reply if you subsequently found out that the reason she hadn't replied is because she was in hospital or her mother died or something equally life-changing?

I'd probably ignore plans to meet up 6 months in advance too

wtaf

this lunch is in the…. summer??? and you’ve been blowing up the messaging group about dates??

this just keeps getting odder and odder

Tbh, I wouldn't think it was rude for someone not to respond.

I've been in WhatsApp group chats and someone will message suggesting an activity/meet up/gig or whatever. The ones who want to do it respond and the ones who don't just ignore it. Otherwise the conversation gets cluttered with, "No, sorry. Can't make it," and I always think, "Just ignore it then. Why reply?"

Horses for courses n all.

That was literally the only date we could land on unfortunately. There was always a clash until we found a date that worked.

We started off looking at dates from April, as we’ll be travelling and just nicer to do that when it’s not dark early:

Agreed.
It's weird.

I think that would apply to groups that meet up some what regularly and are large.

I have another group chat where we all live closeish to each other and there’s four of us. So if someone suggested something it would be rude to not say no thanks. But I was asking 8+ people for example then I wouldn’t necessarily expect a response from all of them.

OP is IS a bit rude but people get 100001 messages these days. You're clearly not a priority.
I take the stance of 'no reply = no do'. Consider her out.
If she messages later saying she'd love to go or something then you can call her out on not replying.

Look, I get that people have 'circumstances' but everyone's lives are constantly imploding in one way or another these days. People have excuses for everything. If you think about it you'll drive yourself up the wall. So just engage with those who choose to and leave the rest be.

I would find it rude for someone to say that they wanted to come to a meetup but then ignore messages which tried to fix a date.

If someone didn't respond to the suggestion of a meet up, I would assume that they weren't interested but didn't want to say so directly in case anyone was upset or offended. I wouldn't find this rude.

True, I’ll try and not take it personally as it’s not just me and we’ve all been sending messages back and forth in the chat.

The other friend you’re bitching about on a different thread probably hit the nail on its head - perhaps it’s a bit too boring?

i’d wager a very large bet op that the date you’ve lined up in the summer won’t come through. Holidays booked , work commitments, children’s events / matches

you’ll be starting another thread about the other three not keeping to a lunch commitment arranged 6 months previously

i think i’d be bored of back and forth around christmas / new year time about a lunch date 6 months in the future with people i haven’t seen for years anyway

this is a lunch
more than half a year away when discussions first started
you can’t even book the restaurant until April!!

You said 6 on your other thread so has someone else already said no?

I'd just get over it OP. Everyone who wants to meet up can meet up. It doesn't matter if she doesn't want to/can't.