Dating... The drudgery of it all 😩

[Sunsetboater]

See attached chat screenshots from Tinder...
Shall I throw this one back or persevere a little longer?
Ok, so I know I'm only on day 5 of texting but using with my own rule of thumb of 'no date mentioned within 3 days', this one is yet another that's just turning into the 'Pen-pal' or even worse will prove to be yet another 'Ghoster'.
He's so cagey 🙄.. I mean, it's one thing to not over-share but he's on a dating site for gawd sake 😅
I'm 59 by the way... I think I need to take 'another' break from internet dating before I give up completely and resign myself to a life of singledom and my rabbit 🤣

No screenshots!

You didn’t attach the screenshots but it’s basically like having a PT job. I think it’s less painful to just accept that… sorry. It should come good though, it’s a numbers game.

I can't see an attachment but if you're not enjoying it, I'd definitely take a break.

Although Tinder isn't exactly going to put you in touch with the more serious daters.

Have you tried a site that charges?

Ahhh, images now attached. Plus another...

3 days isn't a lot but if you aren't feeling it then throw him back. Online dating is a numbers game. I went on LOADS of dates before meeting my husband.

Last image...

He actually seems ok compared to some of the dire chats I had 😆 At least he can spell and you are getting more than one word answers. Think you need to meet up though, to find out if there’s anything there

Yeh, when I did OLD in my 40s, I found that a lot of men would chat indefinitely but only get off their arse to suggest a date with either a younger woman? A better looking woman? Who knows. They weren't gorgeous specimens for their age I assure you. I'm 53 now and I'd expect it to be so much worse now.
Respect to anybody who has the stamina to wade through the entitlement delusion deception and perversion that is men on dating apps

I’m confused. I don’t think there’s a lot wrong with that chat! I experienced much worse when I was on tinder!
why don’t you ask him for a walk and a coffee

I think he's trying to close down the conversation, at the end he needs to do his course and then he has a plan but no further info or any questions. I stop bothering when you aren't getting much from it.

I don’t agree, he starts a lot of the convos

Yes, I've subscribed to both Tinder and Match previously but find them all similar with many duplicate profiles. I've since realised most of the big ones are all owned by the same group so 💁‍♀️.
I've come to learn that (if you're not in a rush to date and prepared to play the long game) you're better off saving your money and just waiting for a match and then take it from there although, this doesn't always work as proved in my latest attempts 😂.

Interest can fall off a cliff after 3 days, it happens all the time

Great advice re online dating is to aim to move to an in-person quick, casual meeting ASAP. Basically as soon as you've ascertained they're decent enough to be a "might be interested".

• The time and energy involved in days and weeks of chatting on an app is hugely draining
• You might then meet in person and absolutely not feel a spark or the remotest chance of fancying them, in which case it's wasted
• You can't tell if you're really going to be into someone via an online chat, even if you talk for months
• People who are serious about wanting to find someone AND who have the confidence and gumption required to show the vulnerability that this takes, will be up for meeting you.

For all these reasons, after a few days of chatting - ASK THEM FOR COFFEE.

If they go quiet or prevaricate then you know they aren't someone who has what it takes to really take meeting someone seriously, and act on it. It weeds out time-wasters.

You don't lose emotional energy chatting for ages to a stranger.

AND - if you hit it off, you meet someone lovely, for real, sooner!

That conversation seemed like so much effort!

Because in my experience I'm hedging my bets that if he isn't willing to take the initiative he wouldn't be worth the effort long term. Been there, done that 😅

Yep this is exactly what I was thinking. I just thought I'd get a consensus before I shut it down for him 😅

I know right 🙄

Why can't you just ask him to meet up?

Did he fall off a cliff between his last message at 11.32 yesterday morning and 8.46 this morning?

I would give up on the dating apps and get chatting to people at in person activities.
That said, my friend has just had her first wedding anniversary with a radiologist she met on Elite Singles (I think it was that one).

Haha no that was me, kind of 'giving him time to hang himself'. Plus, I was at work back on my first shift after a long Christmas break and was shattered when I got home... Literally exhausted. I would have explained the gap had he seemed remotely interested.

I'm off out for a lovely walk now seeing as the sun is out here so will report back later on any further updates etc.

I admire his ability to cycle on water 😁

I would meet him and give him a chance, he sounds nice. The energy isn't there but I've met some amazing men in person who were terrible texters