Dating... The drudgery of it all 😩

[Sunsetboater]

See attached chat screenshots from Tinder...
Shall I throw this one back or persevere a little longer?
Ok, so I know I'm only on day 5 of texting but using with my own rule of thumb of 'no date mentioned within 3 days', this one is yet another that's just turning into the 'Pen-pal' or even worse will prove to be yet another 'Ghoster'.
He's so cagey 🙄.. I mean, it's one thing to not over-share but he's on a dating site for gawd sake 😅
I'm 59 by the way... I think I need to take 'another' break from internet dating before I give up completely and resign myself to a life of singledom and my rabbit 🤣

Pretty boring and banal conversation!
why not just suggest a quick meet up since he is nearby?

I agree with the thoughts and advice here - what do you really want from a stranger? My husband of 15 years is amazing conversationalist in real life and I absolutely know he would not be making more than single word chat in this situation - he barely texts me even if I send him an essay

Think of these men as real people - finding pointless chat as pointless as you do

Either meet up and use that powerful tool - human instinct - or face you aren't really into doing this.

I'd take an innuendo over this level of awkward any day of the week!

I feel like he overuses emojis for my taste- for a man, that is.

When he said he was back Friday that could have been a good point to suggest meeting.

Why is it too much emoji use for a man and not a woman?

Read it again. Stop mentioning the weather and suggest a coffee!

Very boring chat. Suggest a coffee.

Are you serious?!?

He is unspeakably boring.

The op keeps trying to set up a more amusing convo and he just fails every time.

I would have unmatched at about text 3. So so boring.

I've read it again 'so, do you like the outdoors?' would be as far as i would have allowed him before unmatching. I like banter on text, not these tedious questions. You can find out about people without the questions.

I prefer to talk quite a lot before meeting up.

It would not be possible to meet up with every man you match with and I think having those conversations and seeing if you like the same things etc is so much easier doing it through text, than meeting up and wasting your time.

I guess some people enjoy the social aspect of dating but I absolutely don’t.

I hate going on a date with someone and then finding out we’re incompatible and I’ve just wasted my time and then have to do it all over again.
It could potentially mean meeting with several men and still not finding someone you’re compatible with.

I wouldn’t mention meeting up after only 3 days and I’d feel put off if a man was too pushy and too keen to meet so soon.

I disagree. I think he has no idea how to be interesting on text, or probably in real life.
The op is completely carrying him.

I've just realised I don't know who is who. Blue is interesting, black is dull.

I agree with this. Meet SOON and keep it BRIEF.

There is no way that I could be bothered to keep such a tedious conversation going. 5 days of this drudgery is nuts. Ditch it.

I just loved your mead joke! I'd date you in a heartbeat if I weren't a married 35 year old mother of two!
Think it went over his head.
Is there a reason you don't want to suggest meeting? Don't want to come on too strong perhaps?

I just tell men that I'm not interested in a penpal and want to meet sooner rather than later, ideally within a week of matching otherwise I'm wasting my time if there isn't a spark.

I'm still single, but I know I'm picky because I want something to enhance my already great life, and I figure the most I meet the more chance on meeting the right one!

As he's so new, he'll have a few convos on the go and will still be navigating the whole thing. Also, might not be ready to dive into a date. I think he sounds quite nice. I wouldn't completely write him off.

3 days is nothing. I’ve been chatting to a guy for 2 WEEKS. Okay there was Christmas, NY, etc. in between, but we’re both back in London this weekend and he hasn’t suggested meeting up, so I’m going to leave it.

I really, really don’t understand the ‘pen pal’ types.

Phew!!! I've just been properly reading this thread at the speed of light to check I hadn't offended!! You're blue. Phew.

The conversation is deadly boring. You're flogging a dead horse there.
I think he is either not interested in you and is just being polite or he is poor at communication by text.
I've got a friend who is a fascinatibg, charismatic guy in real life but his texting is absolutely dire. He comes across as a weird bore.

If you think you have stuff in common with him then suggest a coffee date rather than waiting for him to suggest something. I feel like you are dropping hints about going for walks with all the walking comments and nice weather. Would save a lot of wasted time if you said I'm going out for a walk on Sunday and stopping off for coffee at x place, do you fancy joining?
If you don't think you are interested in him just bring it to a close

I just loved your mead joke!

Oh dear, this bypassed me completely until you pointed it out; I thought she just randomly decided to throw a romantic lyric out there!

Is this not a huge waste of your time though?

How many men are you meeting and how do you narrow them down if you don’t speak to them for very long?

I would much rather speak to someone (or several) over a couple of weeks before even mentioning meeting up because then I can get a better judgement of them and whether they’re worth meeting up with or not.

I feel like at least half of the men I speak to, I choose to not meet up with because I find out that we’re not that compatible.

I also find if a man wants to meet up quickly, it’s because he wants just sex.
But if he is willing to talk for a while and there’s no pressure to meet up, then he’s more likely to be in it for the long run.

But I’m not saying either of us are wrong though.
I’m still single too as I’m picky, as like you I am happily single and only want to meet someone if they’re going to enhance my life.

I’m wondering, going by some of these replies, if me taking things too slowly is off putting.

I can easily understand why someone just wants to be a pen pal. There's lots on OLD who never have any intention of meeting up with anyone. It's naughty bit to disclose it. But...

1. Married (likes the chat but can't meet)
2. Anxieties (again enjoys interacting on text but too scared to meet)
3. Nothing on TV, chat can often be more interesting, but they don't really want a relationship
4. No time for a proper relationship
5. Catfish. Using someone else's photos/or photos of themselves say 30 years ago to chat to ladies much better lookinh than themselves. Can never meet for obvious reasons.

Someone needs to suggest a meet up. If you’re bored of the endless back and forth, why shouldn’t it be you?

like other posters have said he might be fine in real life.

you mention it getting into pen pal territory but i think you can only accuse a man of that if they are dodging your suggestions to meet up or flaking at the last minute.

I've thrown the gauntlet down and asked if he wants to meet up 😊.
To clarify my reference to being stood-up in my earlier post, I was trying to convey how I felt as a lone women standing at a bar, minding my own business... It's well outside my comfort zone but something I'll be doing more of as time ticks on.
Back to my dating dilemma, there'd been a few more exchanges this afternoon before I asked. Watch this space!

Blue keeps going on about boats. He's probably not THAT into boats.