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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my husband to wash the soap off the dishes?

118 replies

Mamasharp97 · 31/12/2023 10:34

As title says… he leaves the suds on and doesn’t rinse.
I think that’s disgusting and have asked him before after getting a mouthful of soap.
he's mad at me this morning because he did the washing up and I asked why they were soapy and not rinsed.

aibu?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 31/12/2023 10:36

I'm in your camp. My partner is in your husband's.

StripeyDeckchair · 31/12/2023 10:42

Get a dishwasher so the issue no longer exists to argue about. As a bonus your kitchen will be tidier and its more eco friendly.

Then you can just argue about who stacks the dishwasher & how, who empties it, and why everyone leaves dirty dishes on the counter above the dishwasher and doesn't put them in it 🤔 😂

EmptyYoghurtPot · 31/12/2023 10:51

StripeyDeckchair · 31/12/2023 10:42

Get a dishwasher so the issue no longer exists to argue about. As a bonus your kitchen will be tidier and its more eco friendly.

Then you can just argue about who stacks the dishwasher & how, who empties it, and why everyone leaves dirty dishes on the counter above the dishwasher and doesn't put them in it 🤔 😂

This made me 😂 DH is always moaning about how I stack the dishwasher!

Original poster
Mamasharp97 · 31/12/2023 14:25

StripeyDeckchair · 31/12/2023 10:42

Get a dishwasher so the issue no longer exists to argue about. As a bonus your kitchen will be tidier and its more eco friendly.

Then you can just argue about who stacks the dishwasher & how, who empties it, and why everyone leaves dirty dishes on the counter above the dishwasher and doesn't put them in it 🤔 😂

This is the plan now we have a dishwasher space! 😂

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/12/2023 14:27

I dont rinse, have never tasted any suds on the dried dishes

Pigeonqueen · 31/12/2023 14:34

Surprised he hasn’t given you an upset stomach ingesting all the chemicals from the suds <shudder>. I’m definitely in your camp. Dishwasher required!

BashfulClam · 31/12/2023 15:15

Before I had a dishwasher I never rinsed dishes…never tasted suds or got a ‘mouthful of soap’

EmptyYoghurtPot · 31/12/2023 15:17

Pigeonqueen · 31/12/2023 14:34

Surprised he hasn’t given you an upset stomach ingesting all the chemicals from the suds <shudder>. I’m definitely in your camp. Dishwasher required!

A bit of Fairy is not going to upset your stomach. Has mouth ‘washed out’ with that for swearing as a child. Not nice, but it won’t kill you.

Sunflower8848 · 31/12/2023 15:20

Soap detergent residue is actually carcinogenic if ingested…

Konfetka · 31/12/2023 15:22

Absolutely you need a dishwasher. Until then, get rid of your current dish detergent and buy an unscented uncoloured no-nasties one. Sainsbury's do an own brand.

ApolloandDaphne · 31/12/2023 15:25

Sunflower8848 · 31/12/2023 15:20

Soap detergent residue is actually carcinogenic if ingested…

Can you link to rigorous proof of this?

EternalHeadache · 31/12/2023 15:25

I still can’t understand the washing up method of letting soapy suds drip off and not rinsing with water. Doesn’t feel hygienic to me.

ArchetypalBusyMum · 31/12/2023 15:25

Soap suds capture the particles you're trying to wash off, don't rinse and you've got soap and food residue still on your dishes.
We are a strictly rinse house... DH needed to be shown when we got together but he's all on board and I think not rinsing is slovenly and substandard.
Plus a rinse means the dishes will dry quickly and streak free. There is no benefit to not bothering.

Peoplemakemedespair · 31/12/2023 15:29

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/12/2023 14:27

I dont rinse, have never tasted any suds on the dried dishes

This. It’s so fucking weird how all the people that say plates need rinsing have all these stories about they get ‘mouthfuls of soap’ as in the ops case, and yet I’ve never rinsed a dish in my life and it’s been a complete non issue. If someone wanted to nitpick at a way I do a household chore, I’d be telling them they can do it themselves from now on

Macaroni46 · 31/12/2023 15:29

ArchetypalBusyMum · 31/12/2023 15:25

Soap suds capture the particles you're trying to wash off, don't rinse and you've got soap and food residue still on your dishes.
We are a strictly rinse house... DH needed to be shown when we got together but he's all on board and I think not rinsing is slovenly and substandard.
Plus a rinse means the dishes will dry quickly and streak free. There is no benefit to not bothering.

I agree. Not rinsing is grim. But then I also find washing up bowls disgusting.

Peoplemakemedespair · 31/12/2023 15:30

Sunflower8848 · 31/12/2023 15:20

Soap detergent residue is actually carcinogenic if ingested…

Presumably you don’t use it at all then?

HeddaGarbled · 31/12/2023 15:31

How on earth did you manage to get a “mouthful of soap”?

ImFloatingInAMostPeculiarWay · 31/12/2023 15:32

If you're getting mouthfuls of soap, then he is using too much soap in the water

BusterGonad · 31/12/2023 15:33

Macaroni46 · 31/12/2023 15:29

I agree. Not rinsing is grim. But then I also find washing up bowls disgusting.

Show quote history

Do you wash up in the sink?

JanglingJack · 31/12/2023 15:34

Sunflower8848 · 31/12/2023 15:20

Soap detergent residue is actually carcinogenic if ingested…

This is what my ex used to say to me when I hadn't rinsed... With a fag in his mouth 🤷

BurbageBrook · 31/12/2023 15:35

YANBU. Not rinsing is bizarre!

AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 31/12/2023 15:40

I've never tasted washing up liquid on unrinsed plates , is he just smearing it on them directly?

Precipice · 31/12/2023 15:52

YANBU. If he's not rinsing, he's not washing.

Would he hand wash clothes by just putting them in water that's got washing liquid mixed in, then take them out and hang them without rinsing them in water?

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 31/12/2023 15:55

My exh used to do this but with himself. Shower and get out covered in suds because he didn't rinse at all. Gross..

mrsbyers · 31/12/2023 15:56

Must be rinsed here especially disgusting if using a washing up bowl where the dirt and debris has been floating about