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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you know your husband's passcode?

393 replies

hitmewithyourbestshot21 · 27/12/2023 22:43

Just that, how many of you know your husbands/partners passcode for their phone?

OP posts:
Goodlard · 28/12/2023 17:28

Hankunamatata · 28/12/2023 12:24

No never asked

I've never asked, but have been told.

Justcallmebebes · 28/12/2023 17:37

Yes and he knows mine but as far as I know, he's never had to go into my phone and I've never felt the need,or could be bothered, to go into his

Sugarfish · 28/12/2023 18:10

Oh god no! I don’t want him seeing the random and embarrassing stuff I google!

And what if he see’s a message where I’ve slagged him off to a mate if we’ve had a row? At the moment I have a friend going through a break up and she’s confided in me loads. It wouldn’t want him seeing those conversations.

PurpleFlower1983 · 28/12/2023 18:14

Yes and he knows mine but I never look.

Soerdu · 28/12/2023 18:24

Yes and he knows mine

GordoStevensMustache · 28/12/2023 18:26

Goodlard · 28/12/2023 09:40

@GordoStevensMustache it does not show a lack of trust at all!

I'd argue that someone can be trusted more if they have the opportunity to do something like snoop and they don't.

So you need to prove your trust, its not just a given? Weird.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 28/12/2023 18:27

Yes I do, and for his laptop.

Which was quite useful when DS wanted to buy him a book for Christmas so we checked his Amazon Kindle orders to see if he had it. Thankfully he didn't.

Not sure he knows mine, but ds does so he could ask him.

GordoStevensMustache · 28/12/2023 18:30

mydogisthebest · 28/12/2023 17:16

We don't have a problem with opening each others post unless it is something obviously personal.

Oh god this is even worse. Why would you open anyone's post but your own! I think some of you are under the impression that if you're in a relationship with someone you somehow, I don't know, "become" them? Own them?! It's so creepy! So many fucked up relationships on this thread 🙈

RufustheFactualReindeer · 28/12/2023 18:34

Good lord the hyperbole 😀

GodDammitCecil · 28/12/2023 18:36

Sugarfish · 28/12/2023 18:10

Oh god no! I don’t want him seeing the random and embarrassing stuff I google!

And what if he see’s a message where I’ve slagged him off to a mate if we’ve had a row? At the moment I have a friend going through a break up and she’s confided in me loads. It wouldn’t want him seeing those conversations.

Again - someone else not understanding the question in the OP.

It was ‘do you know each other’s passcode?’

Not: ‘do you go through each other’s phones?’.

Most people on this thread know each other’s passcodes, but don’t go through each other’s phone.

There is trust, privacy and respect in the relationships.

YouJustDoYou · 28/12/2023 18:41

Yes, It's the same passcode for everything - phones, ipads, tv, disney+. Makes life easier.

NorthFaceofthelaundrypile · 28/12/2023 18:46

Our whole household has the same passcode.

ScremeEggs · 28/12/2023 18:47

No, and he doesn't know mine either.

ScremeEggs · 28/12/2023 18:57

@Frosty1000

Yes we know each others. I've got nothing to hide
Neither do I, I'm well boring but still don't want to share my password, having nothing to hide isn't the point here? It's trust and personal space.

Shallana · 28/12/2023 18:59

Yep and he knows mine although I have to remind him every time!

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 28/12/2023 19:12

No, o don’t know his and he doesn’t know mine. Why would we need to? I’ve got no interest it looking through his phone and can’t think of a scenario where I would need to. I trust him otherwise what would be the point. Knowing each others pass codes just seems like a lack of trust to me.

Goodlard · 28/12/2023 19:17

@GordoStevensMustache no I don't to to prove anything, I'm in a great respectful relationship, with wonderful trust over the part 38 years! What do you think is weird?

ScremeEggs · 28/12/2023 19:18

@Ohhelpicantthinkofaname

No, o don’t know his and he doesn’t know mine. Why would we need to? I’ve got no interest it looking through his phone and can’t think of a scenario where I would need to. I trust him otherwise what would be the point. Knowing each others pass codes just seems like a lack of trust to me

Same

ScremeEggs · 28/12/2023 19:20

@Shallana

Yep and he knows mine although I have to remind him every time!
Every time what? Every time he wants to go through it?

Poorlycatadvicewanted · 28/12/2023 19:58

Yes. We have the same one and we managed to accidentally sync each others emails and contacts to each others phones. No idea how we did it. Doesn't matter though.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/12/2023 20:00

Nope- really don’t need to know it. Not sure if he knows mine, may have called it out once or twice if he can remember that.

OhmygodDont · 28/12/2023 20:02

I’m going to say yes unless his changed it 😅 he also knows mine claims he has no clue if id tell him to unlock it mind. Tell the littlest child goes yes you do daddy it’s 1234 😂

Mespher · 28/12/2023 20:06

Actually I could probably guess DHs

Goodlard · 28/12/2023 20:09

ScremeEggs · 28/12/2023 19:20

@Shallana

Yep and he knows mine although I have to remind him every time!
Every time what? Every time he wants to go through it?

Or every time she wants him to access it for her benefit?

Goodlard · 28/12/2023 20:12

ScremeEggs · 28/12/2023 19:20

@Shallana

Yep and he knows mine although I have to remind him every time!
Every time what? Every time he wants to go through it?

Have you had really bad relationships, that your partners like to keep control of you, track you? Change your partner not your passcode!