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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at how long it takes my boyfriend to poo?!

92 replies

sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 19:55

This is such a silly rant but needs to come out. Do all men sit on the toilet between 30 mins to an hour doing a poo? I just had to tell mine to come on because I need to also use the bathroom (we only have one) he was in there for at least half an hour and had done nothing. I feel bad for rushing him but he does this everyday, just spends so long on the toilet.. I feel like he wastes his life in the bathroom! Are all men like this?!

OP posts:
Ringshanks · 23/12/2023 19:56

I find turning the wi-fi off solves this problem

Demainsdeslaube · 23/12/2023 19:56

Are you sure he is only taking a dump? Constipation maybe?

Mynewnameis · 23/12/2023 19:57

Same. Urgent 30 min shit
Annoying

Notsurehwhattdo · 23/12/2023 19:57

Can't say I ever time myself but I would guess around 5 minutes most of the time. Life is too short, right!?

MrsMiagi · 23/12/2023 19:57

Only if using their mobile. My husband doesn't do this thankfully but my brother does he is a nightmare for it

Theredfoxfliesatmidnight · 23/12/2023 19:57

Is he skiving off from things he should be doing? Do you have small children, is it his turn to do the washing up?

Notsurehwhattdo · 23/12/2023 19:57

My Dad takes 30-60 minutes though. Maybe it's something that happens as you age?!

Deebee90 · 23/12/2023 19:58

Thank god you’re not my partner, I have ibd and sometimes spend 30 mins or more on the toliet. If my partner moaned I’d say there’s the door.

Whu · 23/12/2023 19:58

Men use this to get out of doing other things in my experience!
Advise him to exercise more, change his diet and eat more fruit and veg that should help any physical issues.

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 19:59

We've been together for 8 years and he's always done it, but yes he has his phone in there and I have noticed that when he doesn't he's a lot quicker! He is doing DD's bedtime tonight as we've had a day out and I've put shopping away and done washing etc. He has IBS but I'm pretty sure it won't make you spend that much time on the toilet and I'm sure he can take something for it.. also he hardly drinks water in the day which I know doesn't help! It's so frustrating, sometimes we are late to events because he wants a poo!

OP posts:
Tandora · 23/12/2023 20:00

My partner does this it drives me fucking nuts!!

YANBU

Dotjones · 23/12/2023 20:00

It's always been the way. See Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? circa 1972. Men see toilet time as the only opportunity they get to have a few minutes to themselves without being hassled by Thelma their other half.

Lilithlogic · 23/12/2023 20:00

Bloody hell, let him shit in peace

RedRobyn2021 · 23/12/2023 20:01

My partner is the same!!!

20-30 minutes every morning

20-30 minutes every evening

We've been together for 8 years and it's been the source of many many arguments as I think it's ridiculous

AuContraire · 23/12/2023 20:02

They tend to be a lot quicker when they don't have their mobile phone with them.

Just wait until you have a baby, and while you're absolutely desperate for him to get home from work so he had just take the baby off your hands for 15 minutes that you've been counting the minutes until he's back and then he just fucks off to the loo for an hour, leaving you with the baby with absolutely despairing rage.

Lilithlogic · 23/12/2023 20:02

Dotjones · 23/12/2023 20:00

It's always been the way. See Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? circa 1972. Men see toilet time as the only opportunity they get to have a few minutes to themselves without being hassled by Thelma their other half.

Ha ha only watched that yesterday. When Bob says to Thelma she wasn't going in with him. I laugh everytime 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:03

Deebee90 · 23/12/2023 19:58

Thank god you’re not my partner, I have ibd and sometimes spend 30 mins or more on the toliet. If my partner moaned I’d say there’s the door.

He doesn't have IBD. He has a bad diet, doesn't drink water and sits playing games on his phone so I think there's a difference when he's using it for relaxing time and not helping out with DD and other things like unloading the dishwasher etc..

OP posts:
Northernsouloldies · 23/12/2023 20:03

Nope, do what I gotta do.. Then gtf out o there.

Goodlard · 23/12/2023 20:03

Ringshanks · 23/12/2023 19:56

I find turning the wi-fi off solves this problem

Does your partner not have personal data?

Wishimaywishimight · 23/12/2023 20:04

I once read a comment from a doctor saying that a poo should take no more than 1 minute. Ever since I wait until I am properly ready before I go!

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:04

AuContraire · 23/12/2023 20:02

They tend to be a lot quicker when they don't have their mobile phone with them.

Just wait until you have a baby, and while you're absolutely desperate for him to get home from work so he had just take the baby off your hands for 15 minutes that you've been counting the minutes until he's back and then he just fucks off to the loo for an hour, leaving you with the baby with absolutely despairing rage.

We have a two year old, and it's really frustrating when I want to eat my breakfast and he takes 45 mins at least and she wants me to get down to play

OP posts:
Icantsleepagain · 23/12/2023 20:04

My DH does it. To him he's pooing to me he's hiding/phone scrolling, which tbh is really unhygienic 🤮

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:05

RedRobyn2021 · 23/12/2023 20:01

My partner is the same!!!

20-30 minutes every morning

20-30 minutes every evening

We've been together for 8 years and it's been the source of many many arguments as I think it's ridiculous

Thank you! Same here. 8 years we have been together too.. he doesn't go when he needs to.. he sits and forces it when it's not ready! Drives me insane!

OP posts:
Notsurehwhattdo · 23/12/2023 20:06

I think some men do take an age because they have IBS... Irritating Bitch Syndrome... And they are in there for an hour trying to avoid her! 🤣

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:06

Wishimaywishimight · 23/12/2023 20:04

I once read a comment from a doctor saying that a poo should take no more than 1 minute. Ever since I wait until I am properly ready before I go!

This! I always say to him 'just go when you actually need to' instead he sits and his words once were 'I like to nurse it out' eww and I'm waiting for us to go out! We don't have time for this!

OP posts:
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