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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at how long it takes my boyfriend to poo?!

92 replies

sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 19:55

This is such a silly rant but needs to come out. Do all men sit on the toilet between 30 mins to an hour doing a poo? I just had to tell mine to come on because I need to also use the bathroom (we only have one) he was in there for at least half an hour and had done nothing. I feel bad for rushing him but he does this everyday, just spends so long on the toilet.. I feel like he wastes his life in the bathroom! Are all men like this?!

OP posts:
Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:07

Icantsleepagain · 23/12/2023 20:04

My DH does it. To him he's pooing to me he's hiding/phone scrolling, which tbh is really unhygienic 🤮

Yes! I find this really gross!

OP posts:
FrostyFlo · 23/12/2023 20:07

If any men are in here , I'm sure they will confirm it often will be a poo and a wank.

Waggytail · 23/12/2023 20:07

AuContraire · 23/12/2023 20:02

They tend to be a lot quicker when they don't have their mobile phone with them.

Just wait until you have a baby, and while you're absolutely desperate for him to get home from work so he had just take the baby off your hands for 15 minutes that you've been counting the minutes until he's back and then he just fucks off to the loo for an hour, leaving you with the baby with absolutely despairing rage.

Are you me? 😵

christmaspawpaws · 23/12/2023 20:08

My dad was whinging he was constipated and couldn't go
After talking it turned out he just hadn't been yet that day. I was Confused you're not constipated, you just haven't needed to go. He is adamant about going daily
I did point out no wonder he's in there for 30 mins if he's trying to empty a poo that doesn't exist and that isn't being constipated!

Friendfoe1 · 23/12/2023 20:09

sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 19:55

This is such a silly rant but needs to come out. Do all men sit on the toilet between 30 mins to an hour doing a poo? I just had to tell mine to come on because I need to also use the bathroom (we only have one) he was in there for at least half an hour and had done nothing. I feel bad for rushing him but he does this everyday, just spends so long on the toilet.. I feel like he wastes his life in the bathroom! Are all men like this?!

My husband spends ages in the loo, luckily we have more than one bathroom x

Dancingqueen2023 · 23/12/2023 20:09

Seriously suspect it's a man thing. DP takes his phone in and can easily be fifteen to twenty minutes, then D's7 goes and will be ten minutes with a book. Rather annoying in the morning when you're trying to get ready.

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:10

christmaspawpaws · 23/12/2023 20:08

My dad was whinging he was constipated and couldn't go
After talking it turned out he just hadn't been yet that day. I was Confused you're not constipated, you just haven't needed to go. He is adamant about going daily
I did point out no wonder he's in there for 30 mins if he's trying to empty a poo that doesn't exist and that isn't being constipated!

Yep! DP is the same.. he just tries to make or come! Sometimes at work they use to get really annoyed with it and would clock him out and not pay him for it because he was taking so long.. it's like he can feel it slightly before it's actually there and has to force it out!

OP posts:
Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:10

Dancingqueen2023 · 23/12/2023 20:09

Seriously suspect it's a man thing. DP takes his phone in and can easily be fifteen to twenty minutes, then D's7 goes and will be ten minutes with a book. Rather annoying in the morning when you're trying to get ready.

So annoying when you want to get ready, or want to go out etc

OP posts:
mrsm43s · 23/12/2023 20:12

DH does this. I swear he just waits for it to drop out by gravity and doesn't actually try to push.

NoCloudsAllowed · 23/12/2023 20:14

Can you play him at his own game and just hide in there while he has to get DD sorted?

Notsurehwhattdo · 23/12/2023 20:14

mrsm43s · 23/12/2023 20:12

DH does this. I swear he just waits for it to drop out by gravity and doesn't actually try to push.

😂😂😂

NoCloudsAllowed · 23/12/2023 20:15

And don't do his chores for him just because he's a glacial shitter. They await his return from the china throne

Crooklodge · 23/12/2023 20:15

My dh has colitis and ibd, it's been a bloody nightmare, spends forever in there, especially when his meds have him bunged up. Takes his phone with him too so not just shitting, just chilling. There's 5 other folks needing the toilet. I have the bladder of a toilet training toddler.

OnlyYesterday · 23/12/2023 20:15

To be honest I'm in the bathroom for 15-20 minutes for a number 2... I didn't realise that was too long??

Notsurehwhattdo · 23/12/2023 20:15

FrostyFlo · 23/12/2023 20:07

If any men are in here , I'm sure they will confirm it often will be a poo and a wank.

Can honestly say I've never done that!!

Doggymummar · 23/12/2023 20:16

Mine takes less than a minute, I take ages as have constipation

Mistressofpemberly · 23/12/2023 20:18

sadly I think it’s common. Fine if someone has a medical problem but otherwise -> get in, do it and get out. Sitting there for ages with phone is disgusting. And sitting there fermenting poo in the toilet stinks the house out. Wouldn’t put up with it again for anything.

Mumaway · 23/12/2023 20:18

DH drives me insane. I think he uses it as an excuse to dodge responsibility and childcare etc. I can manage to visit before he's even locked the front door when we come home from being out and about, why is he so special?

Notsurehwhattdo · 23/12/2023 20:20

Mistressofpemberly · 23/12/2023 20:18

sadly I think it’s common. Fine if someone has a medical problem but otherwise -> get in, do it and get out. Sitting there for ages with phone is disgusting. And sitting there fermenting poo in the toilet stinks the house out. Wouldn’t put up with it again for anything.

A courtesy flush (or two) should be mandatory.

SmugglersHaunt · 23/12/2023 20:22

Sometimes men seem to think sitting there will ‘bring on’ a poo rather than going for a poo when they need one IYSWIM

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 23/12/2023 20:24

Dh is the same, when I suggest he doesn't take his phone he says he needs it. Because apparently no man ever had a bowel movement before smart phones were invented. These lengthy toilet visits are more common when there is a toddler living in the house, and increase in time and frequency during toddlers difficult moments.

Nevermind31 · 23/12/2023 20:25

Normal. But then he stands outside the bathroom and shouts at DS to poo quicker… like that will help

we have a house with a toilet each…

but I also think that this generally happens around bedtime, or each time we want to go out

Kwasi · 23/12/2023 20:28

If it's his IBS that's making him take so long, he needs to get on a low FODMAP diet ASAP, but chances are, he's just on his phone.

My ex used to take forever and swore it wasn't because he was playing his game. I calked his bluff and told him he needed an urgent doctor's appointment, as taking so long is a sign of bowel cancer. He soon stopped taking so long.

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 20:29

NoCloudsAllowed · 23/12/2023 20:14

Can you play him at his own game and just hide in there while he has to get DD sorted?

The annoying thing is, on a weekend morning I like to shower, wash my hair, blow dry it and straighten it. That's being 'too long' and I'm hurried every time I do this.. then men complain their women don't make an effort or have let themselves go?! He's allowed a 45 min poo but me wanting to look pretty at the weekend is a sin!

OP posts: