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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at how long it takes my boyfriend to poo?!

92 replies

sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 19:55

This is such a silly rant but needs to come out. Do all men sit on the toilet between 30 mins to an hour doing a poo? I just had to tell mine to come on because I need to also use the bathroom (we only have one) he was in there for at least half an hour and had done nothing. I feel bad for rushing him but he does this everyday, just spends so long on the toilet.. I feel like he wastes his life in the bathroom! Are all men like this?!

OP posts:
TooManyAnimals94 · 23/12/2023 21:11

The other one is needing a shit when they get to a new place. I swear they are like dogs marking their territory.

Bumply · 23/12/2023 21:11

I only go to the toilet when I know a poo is imminent, and it's at random times of the day.
My ex would visit the toilet at the same time each day and then wait for it to happen which could take 30-60 minutes. There's just no way that would work for me.

Original poster
sotiredhelpme · 23/12/2023 21:15

TooManyAnimals94 · 23/12/2023 21:11

The other one is needing a shit when they get to a new place. I swear they are like dogs marking their territory.

This!! DP is the same, a new place and he has to go! And as soon as we go to his nans or his mums he has to go! A funny story.. when we bought our house it needed a big renovation before moving in and the first thing his dad did was remove the entire bathroom including the toilet.. DP really needed to go so had to go in a paint tin.. he didn't take 30 mins then 😂 more like 10!

OP posts:
GreatGateauxsby · 23/12/2023 21:25

fucking welcome to men….

I didn’t care until we had kids, then I got really worked up about it and nothing changed.
so I went with a “if you can’t beat em join em” policy….

I now “go for a 30min poo” too. I back to back it with showering and use it to offset long showers and hairdrying.

other days I just hide and fart about on mumsnet in the ensuite.

Life is good. “Poo” resentment is low

wizzbitt · 23/12/2023 21:27

My DS (9) takes a book in with him 🙄🤢🤮. He's there for ages.

PurpleOrchid42 · 23/12/2023 21:29

Ringshanks · 23/12/2023 19:56

I find turning the wi-fi off solves this problem

Absolutely brilliant, thanks for this!

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/12/2023 21:40

My son is a bugger for this. It doesn't affect me though to be honest. Ex-h also liked a leisurely poo but he'd wait until I was in the bath to do it despite us having two other toilets. Prick.

betterangels · 23/12/2023 21:43

He has IBS but I'm pretty sure it won't make you spend that much time on the toilet

Except it does, for me. It's not fun in any way.

But maybe he's on his phone.

ofestivetree · 23/12/2023 21:46

Get some fig rolls

RainbowZebraWarrior · 23/12/2023 21:50

monicagellerbing · 23/12/2023 21:09

Yep my DH is the same, up to 45 mins sometimes and we only have 1 loo so often a queue can form, always on his phone. He reckons he needs it to 'distract' him or he can't go. Such bollocks. He takes an absolute age to do anything, cleaning, washing up, getting sorted to leave the house, having a bath can be a 2 hour event as he needs to lay there on his phone brewing in his own filth before he even contemplates getting washed and out, then getting dried means wrapping in a towel and laying on the bed, on his phone. everything he does is so fucking slow and it's normally coz he's chosen that particular time to scroll on his phone and when I confront him he says he never gets chance to look at it as I'm always making him 'do jobs' he's a pathetic man child

My ex husband was like this. Lazy, slow, job dodging fecker that he was. Crazy thing is, he is a director in the civil service (says nowt, really - just talks bollocks and manages to impress, but it did feel a bit Emperors new clothes to me as he was like a child at home)

Loafbeginsat60 · 23/12/2023 22:10

My exh did it. Stank the bathroom out daily and spent hours in there on his phone 🤢

One of the reasons he is an ex!

Dh takes 2mins tops and straight in the shower. So much nicer!!

Fiddledeedeeee · 23/12/2023 22:17

YES! Mine takes 20 mins plus each morning, then complains that our mornings are ‘such a rush’ 🙄

BurbageBrook · 23/12/2023 22:32

My DH is the same, it enrages me. He'll take 30 mins on the loo then 20 min shower and shave and ends up taking nearly an hour to get ready for bed 🙄

BurbageBrook · 23/12/2023 22:33

I know my annoyance is unreasonable in a way as presumably he can't help it, but it makes me so impatient when I need him to take the baby or go out etc!

Flandango · 23/12/2023 22:33

Maybe he is sat there trying to solve a difficult maths problem. Tell him to work it out with a pencil.

Rewis · 23/12/2023 22:41

Yep. My brother was worst at this. Followed my my dad and now my nephews. When we don't hear the kids it's safe to assume they're in the bathroom. My brother used to take his guitar with him. My bf thankfully doenst take too long. It is ridiculous.

TwilightSkies · 24/12/2023 06:50

Why does he think he has IBS?

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