Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell you the spot on thing DH just said

85 replies

Tiamaria86 · 03/12/2023 22:31

My mum wanted me to clear out some of my stuff from her spare room over the weekend. I came across a load of photos from when I was about 18.

I showed DH and said God can you believe I used to worry how I looked back then! I'd kill to look like that now!

He said, but you still worry now even though you look great. You hate getting your picture taken. In another 20 years you'll look back at photos and think the same so why can't you just embrace your looks?

He's right! Why can't I embrace my looks?! I really wish I could but I definitely worry about it more than I should.

OP posts:
fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

theduchessofspork · 03/12/2023 22:42

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

To use a MN stock phrase - you sound like hard work

I dunno OP but he’s right, so try to work on seeing your (doubtless many) strong points

BurbageBrook · 03/12/2023 22:44

He's totally right OP, it's a very good point. An important thing to try to remember!

Superduper02 · 03/12/2023 22:53

Yes I had this exact experience a few years back. I looked great at 18, and at 21, and 25. Didn't appreciate it in the present, only in retrospect

Autumnleaves89 · 03/12/2023 22:54

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Oh for gods sake. Your poor husband!!
OP he’s absolutely right. I often think this!

IveOnlyEverHeardOutwithONHere · 03/12/2023 22:58

Sounds wise to me.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 03/12/2023 22:58

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

With an attitude like that how the hell did you manage to find a husband?

BIossomtoes · 03/12/2023 22:59

A very wise man, he’s absolutely right.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/12/2023 22:59

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Christ 🙄

savoycabbage · 03/12/2023 22:59

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Fuck me. That's a stretch.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/12/2023 23:00

He’s right but it’s something I’ve heard said lots of times before! Doesn’t make it easy to act on though.

SkaneTos · 03/12/2023 23:02

Superduper02 · 03/12/2023 22:53

Yes I had this exact experience a few years back. I looked great at 18, and at 21, and 25. Didn't appreciate it in the present, only in retrospect

I agree with this!

Aquamarine1029 · 03/12/2023 23:02

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Poor sod can't win no matter what he says, eh? I feel bad for him.

whyamiawakestill · 03/12/2023 23:03

He's right, we've just found photos from a holiday about 6 years ago and you know what not one photo of me. I don't appear in any, hate having my photo taken and avoid at all costs.

Honestly if I died tomorrow good luck finding a picture.

No idea where it comes from I do like myself in real life, appreciate my looks and body, I try to be kind to myself etc but just can't stand photos.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/12/2023 23:18

@Tiamaria86 He's a keeper! 🥰

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/12/2023 23:29

Reminds me
Of the sunscreen song lyrics

Original poster
Tiamaria86 · 03/12/2023 23:31

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/12/2023 23:18

@Tiamaria86 He's a keeper! 🥰

Ah he really is, he's always telling me I'm beautiful etc. It's so annoying that you can't believe these compliments in the moment!

I'm going to try and loosen up about it. No hiding from the camera over Christmas!

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 03/12/2023 23:40

Sure he’s right and we all know this rationally but it doesn’t always help.

however I was never a looker so I don’t have a problem looking at old photos ! Of course I looked younger but not better than now. Now I’m 47 and no one expects me to be gorgeous so I find it easier actually.

KrisAkabusi · 03/12/2023 23:43

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Fuck me! If you're married your husband has my sympathy.

FreshWinterMorning · 03/12/2023 23:50

Yes it's true! In my early to mid 30s, after 2 kids, I couldn't bear to look at my post baby 'obese body' - that's how I saw it even though I was size 14, and 10 stone 7! (I was size 10 - and 9 stone before kids.) I dressed in baggy shirts, and elasticated waist leggings, and hid from the camera when I could. I thought I looked worn and old.

Looking back at those photos (now I'm in my late 50s and looking my age, and 12 and a half stone and a size 16,) I realise I looked lovely then... post babies and 10 stone 7 and a size 10. My size and weight was OK - and I was healthy and vibrant and youthful looking.

Also, I hated pictures of myself when I was 40-45 years old - as I felt at the time that I looked old compared to my early to mid 30s. Felt frumpy and bleugh! Looking back at those pictures of me in my early to mid 40s, (some 12-15 years later,) I realise I looked fine! Looked late 30s in some photos, and perfectly nice!

Aren't we daft? 😆

Like the OP, I have a lovely husband too, who loves me for what I am, and for who I am, and whatever my body has looked like. And I feel the same about him! Smile

mathanxiety · 04/12/2023 00:31

I recently came upon some photos of my mum that were clearly taken when she didn't have her weird 'photo face' on for the camera. She looked gorgeous.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 04/12/2023 00:46

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

@fairygalaxy

🙁🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I et you're fun to live with.

@Tiamaria86

He's right & try hard to think that way. 🌷

SwordToFlamethrower · 04/12/2023 01:18

I don't understand why so many intelligent women fall this. I never gave a shiny flamingo about my looks. Made a point of grinning and sticking 2 thumbs up in every photo, triple chins, bad lighting, who cares! I wanted to look back and enjoy how many happy times I was having.

Many men comment on my looks and I don't think I'm bad looking either!

Your husband is right. Women have been conditioned to hate themselves. See the dirty trick to make us obsessed with beauty treatments and make up and you'll never care ever again!

It's liberating. Honestly.

TeaGinandFags · 04/12/2023 01:39

BIossomtoes · 03/12/2023 22:59

A very wise man, he’s absolutely right.

And a loving one.

Given that the beauty industry pumps billions of pounds into convincing women into believing that they:

Are ugly and need to change their appearance.

And

They need to keep spending on dubious beauty products

Im not surprised you feel that way.

Chuckiee · 04/12/2023 02:04

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

There's always one looking to take the smile off the OP's face for no reason.