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Original poster

To tell you the spot on thing DH just said

85 replies

Tiamaria86 · 03/12/2023 22:31

My mum wanted me to clear out some of my stuff from her spare room over the weekend. I came across a load of photos from when I was about 18.

I showed DH and said God can you believe I used to worry how I looked back then! I'd kill to look like that now!

He said, but you still worry now even though you look great. You hate getting your picture taken. In another 20 years you'll look back at photos and think the same so why can't you just embrace your looks?

He's right! Why can't I embrace my looks?! I really wish I could but I definitely worry about it more than I should.

OP posts:
fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 06:28

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/12/2023 23:00

He’s right but it’s something I’ve heard said lots of times before! Doesn’t make it easy to act on though.

Exactly it's been said a million times before and shouldn't take some bloke to tell women they look fine as they are

Nofilteritwonthelp · 04/12/2023 06:32

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

I feel sorry for your husband

fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 06:33

Nofilteritwonthelp · 04/12/2023 06:32

I feel sorry for your husband

Show quote history

Don't you worry about him

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 04/12/2023 06:35

I can’t believe people are offended because a man, her husband, said it. Would you be offended if it had been said by her mother, sister or daughter?

Honestly @Tiamaria86, he’s right. Sometimes though things are said and we feel more receptive to hearing them. Hopefully you take more pictures and worry less.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 04/12/2023 06:36

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Yawn ..........

teenysaladandsniffofarose · 04/12/2023 06:38

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Jesus Christ, your poor husband must have to walk on eggshells around you!

jemenfous37 · 04/12/2023 06:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TrailingFig · 04/12/2023 07:02

He’s absolutely right and I would also like to add to this.

When we look at photos of ourselves we only see our physical self. Strangers possibly only see this too.

When others, who know us, look at photos of us they see our personality, hear our voice and our laugh. They remember happy times spent together and how you make them feel about themselves.

fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 07:10

If OP and others find joy in it then fine I haven't said they shouldn't. I was saying if my husband said it to me. It is probably one of those messages that depends on the transmitter and the reciever.

Dweetfidilove · 04/12/2023 07:17

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Thanks for helping me clear my lungs this morning 😂😂😂

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 04/12/2023 07:50

fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 07:10

If OP and others find joy in it then fine I haven't said they shouldn't. I was saying if my husband said it to me. It is probably one of those messages that depends on the transmitter and the reciever.

What has what your husband might/might not say to you got to do with OP's observations on what her husband said?

All you've done is derail the thread.

DoIReallyNeedToDoThis · 04/12/2023 07:51

Is he Baz Lurhmann?

CalistoNoSolo · 04/12/2023 07:51

fairygalaxy · 03/12/2023 22:40

If my husband said that to me I'd think he was being patronising and mansplaining aging to me or something

Your poor husband.

Ulysees · 04/12/2023 08:02

He sounds lovely and very like my DH.

Some women aren't so nice. I'm good looking and have had comments of 'Eee is that you, you were gorgeous ' and you looked like a model. I have very close friends who wouldn't say that. I was stunning when younger but like a lot of women didn't know it. Probably a good thing. I still am considered a looker but so what? I tend not to show people old pics now if asked. It's not something I'd ask someone to show me anyway unless it's a good friend.

I actually hate the way looks are seen as important. It's just luck. Genetics. Being a good person is a choice. I feel for young women nowadays who feel pressured to look a certain way.

Ulysees · 04/12/2023 08:06

???

fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 08:17

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 04/12/2023 07:50

What has what your husband might/might not say to you got to do with OP's observations on what her husband said?

All you've done is derail the thread.

Show quote history

I think everyone else responding to tell me they feel sorry for my husband has done that

Behindyouiam · 04/12/2023 08:18

fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 07:10

If OP and others find joy in it then fine I haven't said they shouldn't. I was saying if my husband said it to me. It is probably one of those messages that depends on the transmitter and the reciever.

Especially the receiver!

Ulysees · 04/12/2023 08:19

DoIReallyNeedToDoThis · 04/12/2023 07:51

Is he Baz Lurhmann?

Why do you say that?

OnlyFannys · 04/12/2023 08:20

It's one I always try to remember but frequently forget unfortunately. To quote a line from a meatloaf song I'd like to add "We'll never be as young as we are right now"

MammaTo · 04/12/2023 08:22

It’s so true.

I found photos of my younger self on the beach and I was stick thin but I distinctly remember at the time hiding from the camera or putting a beach dress on to hide myself.
Thinking back as young as 9-10 years old I’ve always felt “fat” - I can’t remember a time where I haven’t felt self conscious even from a very young age, I’ve always felt like the biggest person in the room.

Behindyouiam · 04/12/2023 08:23

@fairygalaxy I think k you're right a lot of people have responded to your post offering your DH sympathy.

Does it make you think?

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 04/12/2023 08:25

My husband tells me I'm beautiful every day, and has done for almost 20 years. I could be dressed up to the nines, or in scruffy PJs with unwashed hair he always does it.

I sometimes wish I appreciated my early twenties figure more as i'm certainly bigger now, but then I've had 3 kids and am middle aged. I'm having to learn to appreciate how I look now in a different way. It's a work in progress, and I'm so glad that no matter what, I have DH by my side.

fairygalaxy · 04/12/2023 08:26

Behindyouiam · 04/12/2023 08:23

@fairygalaxy I think k you're right a lot of people have responded to your post offering your DH sympathy.

Does it make you think?

No because they don't know my husband. If he came out with something like that it would be out of character and I'd assume he was patronising me

SurelySmartie · 04/12/2023 08:29

Yes very true op. I’ve thought the same but very difficult to put into practice!

Behindyouiam · 04/12/2023 08:30

@fairygalaxy out of character maybe, but why patronising? Is he not allowed to be kind? Dose he never give you encouragement, or is it you take it the wrong way?