To tell you the spot on thing DH just said

[Tiamaria86]

My mum wanted me to clear out some of my stuff from her spare room over the weekend. I came across a load of photos from when I was about 18.

I showed DH and said God can you believe I used to worry how I looked back then! I'd kill to look like that now!

He said, but you still worry now even though you look great. You hate getting your picture taken. In another 20 years you'll look back at photos and think the same so why can't you just embrace your looks?

He's right! Why can't I embrace my looks?! I really wish I could but I definitely worry about it more than I should.

HAPPY DAYS!! This to me is true love. We love as pp's have said, the whole person not the facade. I would count myself lucky if this were me 💓

Thanks for posting, some restorative faith in human nature is just the ticket for a dreary Monday morning X

I was looking at a photo of a group of people, one of whom I thought at first glance was me. God, I thought, I look awful. Then I realised it wasn’t me and it was like the picture suddenly flipped, literally like some kind of special effect rippled over it, and the person looked absolutely fine, not awful at all. Weird mental gymnastics.

FFS

What an incredibly lovely husband you have.
he’s totally right, and I hope this means you’ll see yourself in a different light now 😍

“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You're not as fat as you imagine.”

There's always one....🙄

They do say youth is wasted on the young!

I have felt exactly like you OP, seeing photos of myself decades ago and being gobsmacked at how gorgeous I was.

I have long-term depression and anxiety and I think my lack of self-esteem and poor self-image have been both cause and effect. I have literally spent years of my life convinced I am hideous - like some sort of fairytale ogre - and it has simply never been true.

So mental health definitely factors in here, and if you cannot bring yourself to believe the evidence of your own eyes then believe your lovely husband! I bet you trust his judgment on other subjects.

A final thought; I am seeing and hearing Meryl Streep in (I think)The Devil Wears Prada sarcastically saying something like "yes because this multi-billion dollar industry is all about inner beauty".

I’m the same, very few pictures of me at all over the years as I thought I didn’t look good, looking back at the few I have, I was lovely!

Pull your knickers out of your arse crack, ffs. It was a man saying something nice to his wife to make her feel better about herself. Nobody was being patronising or mansplaining.

He's right. Obviously it's not easy to just chuck our insecurities aside, but his point is absolutely correct.

I've never been good looking and tbh, would also find it somewhat patronising if other people tried to persuade me otherwise.

Not everybody is attractive and that is just fine.

Grew up with a narcissistic mother who would take the absolute worst possible photos of me to make herself feel better.

So yeah, I don't like having photos taken.

He's right, I think humans in general struggle to appreciate the moment we live in.
I remember being 17, 5ft 7 and 8st, thought I was a lanky fatso with a big nose! Youth is wasted on the young.

I love my DH. We were looking through photos of before we got together and even from the beginning of our relationship and he said (incredulously) "How the hell have you not aged?? You look better now than you did then. I look like an old man compared to you!" 😂

The difference between us? Hair dye and skincare lol! I will embrace the grey and ditch the dye at some point, but it's a bit too "patchy" at the moment for my liking.

He also has said in the past "I'm pleased you don't wear too much makeup. I like being able to see you" and, when I went for my wedding makeup trial, he was very concerned I wouldn't look like me.

Seems he just likes the actual "me"!

So true. I thought I was fat at 9st. Oh to be that now, with a full head of hair like I had then pre menopause, no aching joints and able to eat what I wanted.

As a pp said youth is indeed wasted on the young!!

Hardly. Are you always so negative?

It's true that youth is wasted on the young. I'm 50s now but think how I might be at 75 and realise I'm still relatively youthful!

Flipping heck!

I've said this to myself about my own old photos and I know I'll be saying it again about my current photos in the future!

my current partner said something similar to me the other day, although in a much cruder fashion as the conversation was somewhat more adult.

I feel exactly the same OP, I remember years ago at that kind of age getting ready to go out and feeling awful, and nothing but hatred for myself and the way I looked - and now I look back at pictures and wonder what I worried about.

And yes....just like you I am still the same now 😂 I'm mid- late 30's and I think sadly I was brought up at the peak of diet culture and the size zero trend where women were trained to hate their bodies! I'm super conscious of how I talk about myself and my appearance around my young daughter now.

Another phrase to add to your nasty vocabulary of vile terms such as 'mansplaining' would be 'man hating' which you clearly are.

He is right but also some people are lovely looking but it doesn't show in photos and some (arguably some models and celebrities) aren't particularly attractive but are very photogenic!

He's right. I say the same thing.

I used to hide from cameras. But photos are the only thing left when we've gone. What's the point?

Because men literally can’t speak these days without somebody telling them what they’re doing wrong….

You're one of those that wakes up offended and looks who to blame it on that day aren't you. . .