Hitmaker with gym-honed body tottering whilst out with revellers

[CheatingCheetos]

AIBU unreasonable to think no-one speaks like this or uses those words outside the tabloid press.

I’d add to this “flaunt”, meaning a woman engaged in wearing clothes in public.

I had absolutely no idea what your word soup was about!

Stop reading the Mail then!

I hate it when they call small children 'tots'.

It irrationally irritates me.

And no-one is ever "quizzed" outside the tabloid universe.

It’s journalese. See also pooch, pins, swooped, steps out and busty display.

I thought it was a cryptic crossword clue you couldn’t solve!

See also "took to social media"

E.g. "Busty hitmaker took to Twitter with a foul-mouthed rant"

'she flaunted her impressive pins on the red carpet'

'the three words that turned her life inside down'

Upside down obvs 😂

See also 'ample', e.g., 'she flaunted her ample.bosum' 🙄

Tabloid speak hasn’t evolved beyond 1975 and wasn’t normal speak then - of course no one “dons” a bikini or “sports” a trilby, they don’t “share a joke” or “accessorise with a silver clutch” or “cut a dapper figure” (a direct quote describing the King from coverage of the recent Korean state visit ).
I have rather a soft spot for it all but do wonder if those writing for the tabloids have a crib sheets of ludicrous phrases to use…

‘Put on a LEGGY DISPLAY’ otherwise known as ‘wore a skirt without 30000 denier tights’

Don’t read the mail 😆

Sometimes I look at the DM sidebar of shame but always live to regret it as it makes me feel there is little hope for humankind.

I particularly like burgeoning body and all the other ridiculous shit the so called journos spill out..

Revellers.... (for those out on the lash, especially at New Year).

He "donned" a feather boa, blue jeans and a spiky bustier.
Makes it sound as though the journalist watched him getting dressed.

’Wearing a dress that revealed her décolletage’ I have never heard anyone in real life using décolletage. I hope I’ve spelt it right - my phone autocorrected it but it looks wrong to me.

Wrong target you have in your sights.
Not journos, sub editors are to blame, they insist on House Style and minimum word count.

Queen Letizia of Spain shows off her toned décolletage in a.....
actually very slightly off the shoulder dress that shows no such thing!

Also love the randomly capitalised words, it’s like an algorithm’s been used

KJ WOWS as she flaunts KILLER abs stepping OUT on the arm of new HUNK

Everyone in tabloid world always ‘breaks their silence’ too instead of just, you know, speaking.

And people "taking to" - usually on articles taken from here or Reddit. "A UK woman took to Mumsnet to say..."

I love donning an outfit and putting on a busty display, me, I do it daily (fully dressed woman with tits leaves house). A tabloidese puzzler for me is when they say a couple ‘shares’ children. I might get it if they were separated, since that’s basically what you do, but why does a married/cohabiting couple ‘share’ kids? We ‘have’ children, don’t we?

Nobody talks like this, certainly - but all forms of publication have their own jargon and style and the tabloids are no exception. The tabloids are also the only place where dead children are referred to as ‘the tragic tot’ which always makes me cringe. Also referring to tattoos as ‘inkings’ and prisoners being ‘caged’. And calling some who has an affair a ‘love cheat’ (which seems to have replaced ‘love rat’ lately).

Also all violent criminals in the tabloids are ‘sick thugs’ or ‘depraved attackers’ and all decisions by local authorities are attributed to ‘town hall chiefs’. All cold weather is ‘an Arctic chill’ and all EU personnel are ‘Brussels bureaucrats’. Any comedian is a ‘TV funnyman’.

To be fair, though, nobody talks like Mumsnet in real life either. I have literally never heard anyone in real life say “we’ve gone no contact” instead of “we don’t speak to them any more”, for instance… and I certainly don’t see people on any other social media calling their families “DH, DS and DD”.

I thought this was a cryptic crossword clue and was trying to work out what words I needed to find an anagram if.