Hitmaker with gym-honed body tottering whilst out with revellers

[CheatingCheetos]

AIBU unreasonable to think no-one speaks like this or uses those words outside the tabloid press.

I’d add to this “flaunt”, meaning a woman engaged in wearing clothes in public.

The thing is, it's really hard to write headlines! Don't, er, slam it till you've tried it.

I've never subbed for a tabloid, but I've always thought it must be such a challenge cramming your headline into a space that's only one column wide. And there are no short words for, say, architect, lawyer or backbencher. Even "confirms" or "denies" might not fit, and then what do you do?

How about "adorable" to describe just about anything the royal family are doing.

‘Locks’ for hair.

And random reference to the price of someone’s house. Even if they are writing an article about their cheese allergy.

My brain immediately went to small peelable fruits....

''She channels Marilyn with her newly dyed blonde locks''

"Crooner " for anyone who has had a single in the charts.

Derrière for me 😂😂

'She rocked a Red lip' to describe wearing lipstick winds me up so much .

'And a flat ballet pump'😖.

I think it was “Teenage sex change priest in mercy dash to Palace” @Samsonsmum - it was the priest who’d had the sex change

Garner - does anyone garner anything in real life?

Pop of colour. Just stop it.

Nick Ferarri on LBC in the mornings is the only person I can think of who talks like this.

It's all the FURY and SHAME that twist my melon

Plus the X formally Twitter bollocks

Yes, I was coming on to break my own silence about this but you beat me to it!

People also “style their tresses” rather than doing their hair.

The ones that really drive me mad are the ones online - telling me 'the exact date you must turn your heating on' or the exact date I must do x or y.

Also: (Profession) reveals the one thing you should never/always do when (doing the profession thing)!