To have judged this mother today?

[Roberta268]

I was commuting to work today when a woman got on with two children of about three years old. She first of all demanded that a man give up his seat. The two children then sat next to me and I endured 40 minutes of them screaming, shouting, touching me (including my breasts) and trying to open my handbag and coat. The mother mildly said “don’t do that” but did nothing to stop them. The train was packed and I have a medical condition that made it vital that I sit and not lose my seat. It took every once of my willpower not to say something. I think the mother should have done more to stop it. AIBU?

Why on earth didn't you say anything?!

You should have had a very loud phone conversation about how unlucky you are to have both Covid and the vomiting bug at the same time! Then cough towards the children repeatedly…

I voted yabu as I don't understand why you didn't say something. You could have just said to the children to stop touching you and to stop going at your bag/coat.

Why would you not say something? That’s not normal behaviour!

Why on earth didn't you say something?

You were unreasonable to not say something as soon as they started touching you. That’s bang out of order. A one of fair enough but if it was constant then I would be having words with the mother of that was me

Why did you put up with that ffs

Me too. Why would you put up with this and not say a word? You need to work on your assertiveness OP.

I’ve voted yabu on the basis that I think it’s utterly bloody ridiculous that you didn’t say anything!

Other posters have said the obvious but I'm also curious about what she said to the man and did he give his seat up?

OMG, I'd have gone insane with that. There's no way I couldn't have said something, and I'm an introvert who doesn't like confrontation. Especially with annoiying kids, because I accept theyre kids who are still just learning the ways of the world. But I could not have tolerated this level of inteusiveness.

Yes the mother should have done more to stop this. I'd have been absolutely mortified if my DC had done that at 3 yrs old. There would have been no end of apologies and my DC would have been held on my lap/restrained in a buggy, anything to stop them doing that to strangers!

But I would have said something. I'd put up with it for so long, with my own comments to the children of "please don't do that", but if the mother continued to ignore my obvious hints of discomfort, I'd have to have said something directly to her. Those kids really need to learn.

Next time you need to open your mouth.

OP has a medical condition, mum sounds feral she’s already demanded a guy move- she can see her kids touching OP and says nothing. Perhaps op was too scared.

But why didn’t you say something? Just politely can you not do that, to the kids. Or be funny and say oi, quit it, laughing. Or even say to the mum, there is absolutely no need for you to sit there in silence,

I really can’t imagine this playing out.

Same here. I voted YABU based off of the fact that you didn’t say anything. Why wouldn’t you? Not everything needs to be said in a confrontational manner but surely you could have spoken up for yourself?

And then you’re coming on MN as if we can do something about it?

I also voted unreasonable as you didn’t say anything,

were you scared As a pp said?

You should have addressed the children directly once it was clear mum wasn’t stepping up.

Why on earth wouldn't you say something?

I have absolutely no qualms about telling other people's children off. If they get in my space or my DD's, they're going to feel the sharp edge of my tongue. And they would be physically removed if they dared to touch us.

Same.

Use your words.

This ^.

And if they didn’t, I’d have said something every single time they carried on touching me.

TBH I’d probably have offered the mum some free parenting advice too but I’m a mardy bitch who hates other peoples kids and being touched so this would have been my worst nightmare

You allowed them to continue touching your breasts and also trying to open your coat and handbag? Why would you just sit there and let them carry on?

Yes, because you should've used your words

And she didn't 'demand' the seat.

Yabu for letting children treat you like that