To have judged this mother today?

[Roberta268]

I was commuting to work today when a woman got on with two children of about three years old. She first of all demanded that a man give up his seat. The two children then sat next to me and I endured 40 minutes of them screaming, shouting, touching me (including my breasts) and trying to open my handbag and coat. The mother mildly said “don’t do that” but did nothing to stop them. The train was packed and I have a medical condition that made it vital that I sit and not lose my seat. It took every once of my willpower not to say something. I think the mother should have done more to stop it. AIBU?

Maybe @Roberta268 couldn't move. I'm disabled and wouldn't have been able to move to just any seat.

@SandyWaves the three year olds are "lucky" they can do what they like and get away with it ! Of course as they grow up these poor kids won't be so lucky when they end up unable to get on society because their mother has enabled them all their lives. I will be feeling sorry for them for that reason, I don't think their future is going to be so happy unless something changes in their home.

But right now they aren't suffering, they are having a whale of a time and it's poor old OP who is suffering.

Quite reasonable for able bodied people to move for very young children.

I'm like you and would be unable to stand, but I can't understand why you didn't speak up if the children were behaving so badly

@WrongSwanson the O P shouldn't have had to move if she didn't want to. I wouldn't have moved .It's first come first served on public transport unless it's an actual wheelchair space. Only wheelchair users legally have the right to a specific seat.

@WrongSwanson she could have said something but might have felt intimidated . I'm generalizing here but in !y experience the parents of naughty kids tend to be quite shouty and aggressive particularly towards those happening to criticise their kids.

I didn't say op had to move. Op said she is ill. Of course she shouldn't move

But the woman wasn't wrong to ask people to move for 3 year olds either. I have a disability and am grateful there are enough decent people in the world that someone will always give up their seat.

@WrongSwanson fair enough . If course it's polite to move if someone asks. I would never judge someone for not offering though. I get tired standing up and my feet hurt so I never do! People are usually kind when you do ask I find. I often use a priority seat and most people don't mind giving them up.

Yabu for putting up with it.

A swift smack of the hands would have sufficed, no doubt.

If this is real, I judge you for being such a gutless wonder...

Yes! Never did our generation any harm.

This is the sort of thread that would really benefit from a bit of input from the OP

Why do people try to better each other to see who can be the most extreme and goady, you and your smacker mate both know you can’t hit other peoples children, so why post it, to get a reaction? Well here, happy?

honestly sometimes the shit people post.

yabu for not saying anything

Then you get an email or a conversation on parenting classes or an assault charge against a child. Abuse against children ended in the early 80's before I was born. I've heard all the horrific stories that went on back then against children. You was one of the lucky ones to go unscarred.

It’s perfectly reasonable to ask a man to give up a seat for two three year olds. They aren’t safe to stand. A decent adult would offer without being asked.

Of course you can.

If the mother isn't doing anything to stop them, then smack thier hands away. If she doesn't want them smacked, she'll make them behave.

Its not illegal to smack a child in England. As long as your aren't beating them and leaving marks, its not illegal.

Arseholes are everywhere and judging doesnt get you what you want.

As I tell my children, you are only responsible for your own behaviour.

So you could have told them off 9mce, politely and asked the mother to address the issue. Then escalate by speaking to the train staff to explain that you have raised the issue directly with the mother and children, it has not been resolved, you need a seat for medical reasons, so can they please resolve the issue to our satisfaction.

Intimidated, by toddlers? Well I suppose in a universe when the natural reaction to someone knocking on the door is to drop to the floor to avoid detection, that makes sense.

“Get out of my bag and keep your grubby hands off me, you little twerp!”

Have you smacked your children because I don't need to smack mine to make them listen my word is good enough. I don't need to use smacking to teach my children how to behave. Your teaching your child that it's okay to hit people and when people don't listen smack them. When you smack a child you don't do it because you're happy you do it because you're angry. When does it become an offense when the child grows up to be a thug and a bully?