To have judged this mother today?

[Roberta268]

I was commuting to work today when a woman got on with two children of about three years old. She first of all demanded that a man give up his seat. The two children then sat next to me and I endured 40 minutes of them screaming, shouting, touching me (including my breasts) and trying to open my handbag and coat. The mother mildly said “don’t do that” but did nothing to stop them. The train was packed and I have a medical condition that made it vital that I sit and not lose my seat. It took every once of my willpower not to say something. I think the mother should have done more to stop it. AIBU?

YWBU to not speak up at the time.

I endured 40 minutes of them screaming, shouting, touching me (including my breasts) and trying to open my handbag and coat.

Children only pull that kind of stunt once with me, if that. Really, I should rent myself out as super nanny's mean sister.

@OchonAgusOchonOh

I voted yabu as I don't understand why you didn't say something.

Me too, for the same reason.

Don't understand what's so terrible about asking a man to give up his seat. If he needed it he would not have given it up. Of course if she asked rudely or wouldn't take no of an answer then that is wrong. I sometimes ask people politely to give up their seat. They do so, also politely, unless they need it themselves, which is fine, that means I need ask someone else or get off and take another bus. It's no big deal.

I've had people I've asked to move from the priority seat and it's ok not long into the journey a seat becomes free behind them. So they still near the front of the bus. I think MN is very precious about this issue.

Of course YANBU about the other stuff.

Couldn't you put our bag etc on the other side so it wasn't reachable by them?

YABU as you didn't say anything.

I try to be tolerant of people but I admit I would have silently judged. I also believe that if a parent is letting their kids run amok in public then others in public are entitled to correct those kids. But I'm too much of a wuss to actually do it.

I imagine everyone else on the train was silently judging the OP for saying nothing 🤣🤣

The mum was hoping you'd give up your seat as well and was silently encouraging her dc to annoy you so you'd go away. Well done for sticking to your guns.

Hi OP. I get it you shouldn't have to say anything and maybe mum looked a bit like she might yell at you.

It took every once of my willpower not to say something

But could you have perhaps channelled this into saying something to the kids?

Just as you judged the mother in this situation I'd have judged you as a doormat if I'd have been a bystander to this. I've no idea how a grown adult could sit through something like that and not tell them to pack it in and stop touching them/their bag.

"Were they really deliberately touching your breasts or did they accidentally brush them ?"

Were they looking for breast milk they might have been hungry 😂 Sorry I couldn't resist.

Same. Why on earth did you not say something

I wouldn't worry it takes a village to raise a child not only the parents. We all have a duty to teach and it does teach them especially if it's someone they don't know well. There is a way you can talk to children without scaring them.

I’m judging you for not being able to speak! The mum probably just thought you didn’t mind.

She did take two small children on a packed train when people are going to work. She didn't plan it well.

I voted YABU For this very reason!

woman up ffs!

More fool the men for getting up. I wouldn’t stand for a child.
and anyone touching my boob would get their hand slapped.

I'd have said to DC will you both behave and stop touching me. I'd have glared at the mother for allowing their behaviour.

You have a voice, use it!

The man who as probably doing a nice thing because maybe he thought the child needed the seat more? Though I don't think I would have moved. A 3 year old can sit on a parents lap.

You should have said something. It's not mild annoying child behaviour, it's touching you and being a real nuisance. You need to speak up. For whatever reason the mother didn't, but the kids need someone to tell them it's not acceptable.

They touched your breasts?

Riiiiiight..

The first thing that went through my mind was 'Their mother is still breastfeeding.'

I would see a mother struggling with two toddlers and think how lucky I am as a fully grown adult, that I could either help her or move. Simple.