To have judged this mother today?

[Roberta268]

I was commuting to work today when a woman got on with two children of about three years old. She first of all demanded that a man give up his seat. The two children then sat next to me and I endured 40 minutes of them screaming, shouting, touching me (including my breasts) and trying to open my handbag and coat. The mother mildly said “don’t do that” but did nothing to stop them. The train was packed and I have a medical condition that made it vital that I sit and not lose my seat. It took every once of my willpower not to say something. I think the mother should have done more to stop it. AIBU?

Were they really deliberately touching your breasts or did they accidentally brush them ?

are you able to explain why you were not able to use your words and speak to the children or mum? I think that’s what’s astounding everyone.

Sounds unlikely and a one sided tale

Why on earth didn't you say something OP?

I'd have asked her, politely but firmly, to make them stop. If she didn't, or they didn't stop, I'd have asked again, very firmly and probably not politely.

A third time, I'd have told the children myself, with my best stern headmistress voice and she'd have got the very sharp edge of my tongue. And so would they!

Where op said she wants anyone to do anything? Did you read it?

Op - I also wonder why you didn’t say anything? I would definitely have asked the children to stop in the hope the mum stepped up but if she didn’t, I’d have asked her to tell them.

YANBU
I went to the cinema a few weeks ago with my young nieces and DD.

There was children behind being really rude, swearing loudly, calling the characters discriminatory names and throwing sweets and popcorn at us.

A few times I asked them to stop throwing things and to keep the noise down but it made them worse.
In the end I loudly told my nieces to ignore them because they obviously just want attention.

I should have got a member of staff but I didn’t want to leave my young nieces alone whilst I went out.

The lights turned on and i found out the mum had been there the entire time!

YANBU to have judged the mother for letting her kids behave so badly, but YABU not to have told the children to keep their hands off you and your stuff, and YABU not to have had stern words with the mother for letting her children behave like baboons.

Where did you get the impression she wants someone to do something about it?

For every poster saying you should said something I wonder how many of them would tell a stranger to bog off if they commented on the behaviour of their wee darling.

i get why you didn’t say something. Feral kids usually have feral parents

All of you asking why she didn't say something, have you met people today? They're mental! Maybe she didn't want a slap. Maybe she didn't want a load of "They're children. Stop being so intolerant."

It doesn't matter whether they did it deliberately. If they're in any position where they can 'accidentally brush' a stranger's breasts, they're behaving appallingly and are out of control. For them to 'accidentally brush' someone's tits they'd have to be reaching across her, lolling over her, climbing across her or grabbing at her clothes.

Also, the breasts thing is largely irrelevant. Nobody's kids should be touching people, trying to look in their bag or opening their coat, which is what the OP says these children were doing. If the mother can't control her children she shouldn't have sat them next to a stranger.

I'm a fairly non-confrontational person who usually tries to avoid making a scene but I would have been absolutely furious at this, and I would have said so.

Facts.

YANBU and if you were scared to speak up I understand it! I’m disabled and when I was about 16 had two kids (about 7 years old) follow me around a supermarket deliberately and repeatedly ramming into me with a trolley. I ignored a couple of times and moved away. Then said firmly ‘please stop doing that’. They just laughed and kept on. The last time I said ‘stop that’. Then the dad, a massive 6 foot plus guy who was standing a few feet away but I hadn’t realised because he wasn’t interacting with the kids at all, yells at me ‘they’re just having fun, how dare you try to stop them!’. He was towering above me and looked so furious I was really frightened. I headed straight to the checkout and told the assistant, in tears. Her response? She shrugged. It was a long time before I was confident to even go in that store again.

So if you were scared, I get it! Handhold/hug for sure from me.

My point is, if you don’t speak up for yourself in the moment. What exactly can us strangers do for you on the internet? Just tell the OP that she’s not being U and leave it at that. Pointless really

Adding my voice to the question of why you didn't speak up,or if you did?

This has to be a wind up.

Think she just wanted a bit of a rant really

You should have reported to the fat controller as soon as the train arrived in Sodor, and asked that whoever came up with this has a better attempt next time.

YABU not to say something. Stick up for yourself!

And vomit over them.

Explain how she 'demanded' the man gave up his seat

I’m so glad that I have learned how to use the ‘the teacher look’ (patent pending).

Works well on husbands too.

But I can also use words when necessary.

The mother should have intervened but when she didn’t, OP, you should have. The kids have learned from this experience that their behaviour is acceptable because you accepted it.

Not polite but I might have told the children to fuck off. I certainly would have said somthing to their mom. "rail in your brats" springs to mind.....

If they were 3 years old then I would find it mildly cute and amusing if the were a little naughty but I cannot abide screams, so I might have told them to shush. They would not get to touch me or my bag, you can push a 3 yr off surely?

@TheKeatingFive as all we mothers do...
We stand and shout 'behold I am a mother' and all seats are cleared.. isn't that how it works? 🤔

There are so many of these threads lately where a wet lettuce who won't simply communicate like an adult, tells us all they're silently seething 🙄