A friend of mine has not used soap for half his life!!

[WTAFSHOCKEDANDMORTIFIED]

changed name for obvious reasons
He's a long time friend of mine.

How I found out.
He does work on buildings ranging from plastering to laying patios. He's qualified for many things but all are manual jobs.
He was round doing a job for me in the garden which made him get rather dirty. I noticed when he washed his hands, when I made him a hot drink, he would just swill his hands in the kitchen sink with water.. But I didn't think much in it but I noticed as the hand wash is obviously there.

Well, once he finished I asked if he could look at a job that wasn't done properly previously in my bathroom.

Once he removed his trainers (no footwear in my home as a rule) both myself and he noticed his feet stunk from the garden job. So he asked if he could wash them to put some fresh socks with a change of footwear, that carries around with him in his van (his trainers were now soaking)
I pointed out to him where the shower gels were... And he said "no I don't use those" .. So I pointed out the baby friendly soap I've got for my youngest (thinking it was more about the type of gels)

He continued to say "no.. I don't use those.. I just use water. Water is good enough".

I'm stunned to silence as he just swills his feet in water.

After a few hours.. As he's still had the left over of the garden job to finish.. Just putting things back etc... I ask him... "are you winding me up about the soap?" (he's a bit of a wind up merchant tbh)... But he sticks with it... "No.. Waters fine.
You don't need to use all those chemicals on your body, it's not good for your skin, I don't use deodorant either cos they put aluminum in them"

I am shocked cos he then said he's not any of them for 20+ years now!!! He's a grown man!!
Trust me... He absolutely stinks of BO but I just put it to the fact he's doing the jobs he does...

I'M ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED!!!

Am I out of touch here? Is this normal? Do others do this?
AIBU to think this is disgusting!!??
I can't help but put my mind to his lower areas... I mean... Ewwww. He doesn't use soap on his ASS!!
For half his life he's not used soap!!!

YABU to have two threads on this.

Shrug. It's his choice.

Why are you mortified? Not as though it reflects on you at all.

I deleted the other one as I couldn't edit it to put in that he's a friend not some random worker.
That's all

Why are you mortified? You have nothing be embarrassed about.

Snap SpaceCadet.

His personal hygiene is his business, not yours. You're a friend, not a partner so his pits and bits being smelly shouldn't cause you any concern.

Interesting article:

Soap dodger: meet the doctor who says we have been showering wrong

Hand-washing aside, James Hamblin has not used soap for five years. He warns that our obsession with being clean is harming the microbiome that keeps us healthy

Guardian story

Why are you mortified?

That's grim and i wouldn't want someone who never washes their hands properly touching anything in my house. Also, there is a massive range of eco friendly soaps and handwashes easily available, so his excuse is rubbish.

I'm not one of those people. I did have a friend whose artist boyfriend swore by not only not using soap, but not bathing either. He even advised to her to wash her hair in her own wee. He became her ex-boyfriend, but not before fathering a very nice boy, who washes like a normal person, he tells me.

YABU.

Humans survived for thousands of years before soap was invented.

They did yes. But disease was rampant and most people didn’t live past 35.

So many people use mortified wrong.

If he's your friend, tell him he stinks and needs to use soap.

I understand people that maybe don’t want use products on their body, face or hair but surely it’s unhygienic not to wash your hands with some kind of soap or sanitiser?

It sounds like he’s not ‘doing it right’ if he smells bad but there is a soap fee movement or sorts, I think a PP had put a link up. We use coconut oil in the bath on our toddler, rather than soap and we’ve never washed his hair with shampoo. You’d never know to look at him, he’s got beautiful curly soft hair. We do wash his hands with soap though, when he comes in mucky from outside or he’s been to thd toilet. I use soap but I’ve switched to a co-wash for my hair most days and rarely shampoo it now. It’s never looked better or felt healthier. I’d struggle with the soap thing though.

I don't use soap, because of a medical condition (eczema). I get pumps of Dermol 500 on prescription. It's a soap free emollient and cleanser, and is antibacterial. Also Aproderm on prescription, as a moisturiser, which I noticed the other day can also be used a a soap substitute. I hassled my GP to write me up for Aproderm when our local NHS region decided to de-approve Aveeno Cream (some regions list it as an Aveeno replacement)

I know a couple who don't use soap or shampoo. They only wash with water, but they don't smell. And they're actually quite rich people. Well, it's their choice.

Yes but doctors say just water is equally good. I am not that brave personally!

Why are you mortified? Do you mean horrified? You have no reason to be mortified

Why are you so obsessed with this man?

Do they? I’ve never heard this.
then why all the hand washing hysteria during covid?

you didnt delete it - you dont have the access to delete it

He had made it clear he wants something more than friends but I'm a "get to know first" Person.
He's ticks all the boxes and I was on the verge of going ahead...
But now... I just can't.
It's gave me the ick beyond measure.
He's really lovely but he is very smelly... But as I've said... I put it to his type of work that he does.
I only normal see him after work occasionally.
I just can't get it out my head now.
About 8 years back we very close when drunk to having sex, but then thought it was weird and just laughed about it.
Just imagine!!!

That’s disgusting and you need to tell him he stinks.