A friend of mine has not used soap for half his life!!

[WTAFSHOCKEDANDMORTIFIED]

changed name for obvious reasons
He's a long time friend of mine.

How I found out.
He does work on buildings ranging from plastering to laying patios. He's qualified for many things but all are manual jobs.
He was round doing a job for me in the garden which made him get rather dirty. I noticed when he washed his hands, when I made him a hot drink, he would just swill his hands in the kitchen sink with water.. But I didn't think much in it but I noticed as the hand wash is obviously there.

Well, once he finished I asked if he could look at a job that wasn't done properly previously in my bathroom.

Once he removed his trainers (no footwear in my home as a rule) both myself and he noticed his feet stunk from the garden job. So he asked if he could wash them to put some fresh socks with a change of footwear, that carries around with him in his van (his trainers were now soaking)
I pointed out to him where the shower gels were... And he said "no I don't use those" .. So I pointed out the baby friendly soap I've got for my youngest (thinking it was more about the type of gels)

He continued to say "no.. I don't use those.. I just use water. Water is good enough".

I'm stunned to silence as he just swills his feet in water.

After a few hours.. As he's still had the left over of the garden job to finish.. Just putting things back etc... I ask him... "are you winding me up about the soap?" (he's a bit of a wind up merchant tbh)... But he sticks with it... "No.. Waters fine.
You don't need to use all those chemicals on your body, it's not good for your skin, I don't use deodorant either cos they put aluminum in them"

I am shocked cos he then said he's not any of them for 20+ years now!!! He's a grown man!!
Trust me... He absolutely stinks of BO but I just put it to the fact he's doing the jobs he does...

I'M ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED!!!

Am I out of touch here? Is this normal? Do others do this?
AIBU to think this is disgusting!!??
I can't help but put my mind to his lower areas... I mean... Ewwww. He doesn't use soap on his ASS!!
For half his life he's not used soap!!!

you can’t delete a post but you can delete the text

I know a few people who just use water and don't smell.
Some people cant tolerate the chemicals in soap or deodorant. Bit weird to make multiple posts, suggest you find a hobby.

Oh give over 😂😂😂😂

I've looked at threads I've started and it's not there anymore.
So I've assumed it deleted. 🤔🤔

I only put the other one on a minute before this... I had To amend that he was a long time friend.. As this I missed out but couldn't for some reason amend

Totally misses point of the thread but... myself and he noticed.... do you actually speak like that in real life?

Anyway if he stinks of BO then surely you must have noticed before

Covid viruses are not everyday things and soap or substitutes break down a virus's fatty coat.

I wash my body with aqueous cream, but I like soap on my hands l. When I'm at home I also scrub my hands with a nail brush.

He's not completely wrong.

I've moved away from shower gels to handmade organic pressed soaps with ingredients I know. If I'm going to slather my skin in it every day I'd like to know what's in it.

Total overreaction on your part. I couldn’t imagine giving a flying fuck about this. My guess is nobody died from him not using soap. He has his own philosophy on this issue and it’s not your place to judge him (unless you are secretly shagging him - that would be grim, I agree).

you can edit the text if you are in time

edit - and they havent

Again op- why are you mortified? Why would you be embarrassed and ashamed when you are not the one who smells?

Mortified is a bit strong
maybe he just has a bad skin condition and doesn’t wants to divulge it
if he has bad BO and you were thinking on taking this out of a friendship zone I get BO being a put off, and fair enough
but this l(for me) falls on the live and let others live

Because I've added on another post that says "we were looking at being more than friends and years ago we came close to having sex".

I would kindly advise him to use one of them simple soaps or is it Pears soap - one of them has as little chemicals as possible.

Read my 3rd post on this thread.

I had a client that explained the scientific reasons behind just using hot water. Don’t recall her smelling. Don’t know if what she was saying his true.
Her choice and had zero impact on me. Why does it bother you so much op?

Agree. Mortified? And coming to the Internet to have strangers drag him. Well done, OP.

Yes, apologies. I agree that shagging him would be grim, but I would respect his right to be a filthy bastard nonetheless. It wouldn’t affect my friendship with a person.

Read my 3rd post please

At risk of being a nobhead, "mortified" doesn't mean similar to horrified or shocked, it means to feel extremely embarrassed or ashamed at ones' own behaviour or actions. Nothing to do with being shocked or upset by something someone else has done.

I'm only risking being a dickhead here because this is a much mis-used word and one of my pet peeves!! In this context, you'd be mortified if you realised you hadn't been using soap for years and that you stank of BO.

Well actually the first soap remains found date for 2800 Bc, so humans found ways to make it 5000 years ago. Prior to that, and in cultures where soap was not made, herb/plant infusions were and are still used commonly. Humans have found ways to make washing more efficient since they learnt how to figure stuff out.

but hey, my adult son avoids soap, just like many do with eczema , it literally turns his skin on fire and cracks it. He never uses soap, and finds deodorants that he can work with just. He doesn’t use shampoo either. Hasn’t since he was a child. He uses eczema cleansers where he’s dealing with biological contamination (ie after using loo) , and on his hair after exercise or being on public transport, but even that he avoids as much as possible. To be frank he avoids anything that touches, rubs or agitates his skin. 😢

the guy is right that soaps are not good for the skin. But he’s unreasonable to not use something that chelates with dirt particles and helps remove them from his skin. There are plenty of options for him.

yes people are disgusting. this is why when I come home, I change my clothes and have a good wash and why most things from outside get disinfected on entry to the house.

and I have seen what happens when people don't clean properly. look up necrotising fascitis if you have the stomach for it....

Good thing you actually didn't sleep with him....

If he’s lovely in other ways, maybe read around a bit.
We use salt rock deodorant such as “pit rok” as it’s not got dangerous chemicals in it, and as others say there are plenty of gentle soaps. But then maybe there is no need for soap, could look at the research. People who don’t use chemicals on their hair and hardly wash it have the loveliest hair!

Also he might just not care, and he might think if you judge him on that you’re not for him

Basic soap is made from oil , water and lye. Lye can be made from ash so no artificial chemicals involved.
Aluminium free deodorants are the norm now I think.

If he wants to stink that’s his choice but he’d not be coming into my house.

People who don't wash properly are rank. I'll never understand why so many people are happy to stink. Yuk.