A friend of mine has not used soap for half his life!!

[WTAFSHOCKEDANDMORTIFIED]

changed name for obvious reasons
He's a long time friend of mine.

How I found out.
He does work on buildings ranging from plastering to laying patios. He's qualified for many things but all are manual jobs.
He was round doing a job for me in the garden which made him get rather dirty. I noticed when he washed his hands, when I made him a hot drink, he would just swill his hands in the kitchen sink with water.. But I didn't think much in it but I noticed as the hand wash is obviously there.

Well, once he finished I asked if he could look at a job that wasn't done properly previously in my bathroom.

Once he removed his trainers (no footwear in my home as a rule) both myself and he noticed his feet stunk from the garden job. So he asked if he could wash them to put some fresh socks with a change of footwear, that carries around with him in his van (his trainers were now soaking)
I pointed out to him where the shower gels were... And he said "no I don't use those" .. So I pointed out the baby friendly soap I've got for my youngest (thinking it was more about the type of gels)

He continued to say "no.. I don't use those.. I just use water. Water is good enough".

I'm stunned to silence as he just swills his feet in water.

After a few hours.. As he's still had the left over of the garden job to finish.. Just putting things back etc... I ask him... "are you winding me up about the soap?" (he's a bit of a wind up merchant tbh)... But he sticks with it... "No.. Waters fine.
You don't need to use all those chemicals on your body, it's not good for your skin, I don't use deodorant either cos they put aluminum in them"

I am shocked cos he then said he's not any of them for 20+ years now!!! He's a grown man!!
Trust me... He absolutely stinks of BO but I just put it to the fact he's doing the jobs he does...

I'M ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED!!!

Am I out of touch here? Is this normal? Do others do this?
AIBU to think this is disgusting!!??
I can't help but put my mind to his lower areas... I mean... Ewwww. He doesn't use soap on his ASS!!
For half his life he's not used soap!!!

Justinian, like all Romans, had good personal hygiene.

I don’t use anything on my body either just water. I do wash my hair with 2 rounds of conditioner. It’s more of a horrible sensitive skin things but I’m sure I don’t smell

I take it he is still single!!!!😷

Oh OP. What are the odds he's one of those that can't wipe his arse right either? MN is full of women who have one of them at home. Don't be one of them OP! Save yourself while you can!

"doesn't want chemicals on his body"
how ignorant, and selfish

On the verge of having sex. So kissing and stuff..... yet you didn't notice?

You thought it was his job? There are plenty of people out there doing messy manual jobs, my husband is one of them. He smells lovely! He washes properly.

We were at the end of an all day bender (was a wedding we attended of a mutual friend) ... Drunk is putting it mildly. Yes we kissed but I'd say more smashed teeth... Then when he started getting undressed he tripped up getting his leg out his trousers... Hence we laughed about it. Kinda put it to.. "the signs are pointing to we are just not meant to do this".
It was an absolute scream at the time and does still make us laugh even now about it.
Yes, he smelt of BO.. Not as extreme as his work days, but he was wearing loads of aftershave and obviously he was sweating (like we all were) from dancing. I just put it to that then.

So, I never got close enough to find out.

My wife doesn’t use soap except for her hands and shampoo for her hair. She has eczema, extreme allergies and a very painful skin condition so basically everything hurts her.

She doesn’t smell.

No of course YANBU! He sounds repulsive and I can't imagine the state of his nether regions. Dodged a bullet there didn't you?!

I saw a top dermatologist on TV just last week who said that there is no need to use soap, water is perfectly adequate for cleaning. She herself used a simple soap for anything which might be particularly smelly or dirty, but the use of a lot of soap and too hot water damages the skin.

That's a bit contradictory. So she does use soap.

I'm not in the UK, but the message here was to wash and dry your hands thoroughly, but that soap wasn't actually needed.

Yes, but she's obviously keeping herself clean. (Commiserations about the eczema, that's rough)

Only for anything particularly smelly or dirty - so I presume if she has been sitting around watching TV all day she doesn't need to use soap!

So the OP's friend would, even by her admission, definitely need to use soap.

I watched a programme recently which was talking about how much we are damaging our skin using soaps/shower gels/cleansers etc. The experts on there were saying water alone is enough. I couldn't personally, I'd feel disgusting just using water, but there is evidence to support what he's saying and he's definitely not alone.

Having just read the op properly, surely it is the fact that he doesn't use deodorant which is the main issue?

I do use soap, but have a bit of a rash at present so will use less, however I believe that warm running water probably is enough for most people.

If he is a friend and you have only just noticed then I guess he isn't smelly so it doesn't matter.

I bet he wonders why he is not a babe magnet!

Re washing hands with just water - it's the friction that dislodges dirt from your hands and washes into the sink - so as long as doing it properly you don't need soap.
Soap helps the dislodging so it's quicker and more thorough to use it but not required. That's obviously why a surgeon would use it.

But yes, if he smells it sounds like he needs to do a better job of washing, whether with soap or without.

I have said he smells of BO, but I've put it down to the job that he does.
He does plumbing, building works, plastering, patios, decking, tiling Amongst other jobs... Which of course I would expect after a day of that.. He would pong abit. As friends a few of us have cracked jokes about him smelling but we've just assumed it was his work.
He works very long hours so we don't see him on a day off.
He might have a 5 hours job and then we'll see him. But it's always after work.

My ex hubby never used deodorant- he had a lovely body smell, never BO and he had quite an active job. I have a child who
is unable to use soap.

His body, his choice surely? I very rarely wash my feet with soap and my feet are lovely and soft, look nice and do not smell.. unless I’ve been wearing wellies, anyway! I’ve probably never washed my back with soap because I can’t reach it and that isn’t a festering mess either. I think there’s probably something to be said for not wanting to add too many chemicals to your skin. That said, not washing your hands properly when you’ve used the loo is pretty gross.

That's not normal.

My guess is he has some degree of ocd, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was opposed to vaccines too.

There was a big brouhaha in pseudo science circles about aluminium in anti perspirant about 20 years ago. A teacher of DS's was very opposed to it, and this woman honked.

@Appleofmyeye2023
You're the voice of sanity here.