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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is not a joke let alone a funny one.

105 replies

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 20:43

NC for this as outing if linked to other posts and I believe they’re on here.

One of my best friends dad has a habit of eating her food and thinking it’s the height of hilarity. She still lives at home and is 29 if it’s relevant. various factors mean she can’t move out at the moment.

we went to a beautiful bakery on a day out to London a couple of weeks back and bought some gorgeous little cupcakes, one for each person in the household. Her parents were given there’s. Her dad then later ate hers as well which was in the fridge.

My son sees her as an aunty and we do spend a lot of time together, a couple of months back me my son and my friend were all having dinner together, he came over and said to my son oooh what are you eating give me a bit, my son was a bit taken back and said no, he then proceeded to take the food anyway which really upset my son.

now yesterday we have again bought some beautiful little cakes on a day out of town. But Special trip to a bakery we wanted to try. We ate there, and this time friend only bought one cake for herself. She went to get it from the fridge and it was gone. He’d ate it. She was so upset as she’d had a bad day so I sent her a box of cakes from a local bakery via deliveroo. She was thrilled. Ate one. Told him in no uncertain terms to leave them alone, she has came home today and he’s eaten them all. 6 cakes. I am livid. for my friend and for the fact I’ve spent £30 on a box of 6 cakes for him to gobble and leave her upset again. He’s in fits of laughter but I really don’t think it’s funny

OP posts:
Gloriousgardener11 · 05/10/2023 20:48

He’s a weirdo !
I’d be livid as well, what a selfish man.
How about some cupcakes with a nice chutney and dog meat filling, see if he thinks that’s funny 😆!

Mammamiammamia · 05/10/2023 20:48

No it's not funny, he sounds like a right wanker.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 05/10/2023 20:50

Gloriousgardener11 · 05/10/2023 20:48

He’s a weirdo !
I’d be livid as well, what a selfish man.
How about some cupcakes with a nice chutney and dog meat filling, see if he thinks that’s funny 😆!

As tempting as that would be it would just make it more of a joke to him and he'd think everyone else is playing along with it. He sounds like a pig

RuppyDa · 05/10/2023 20:51

If that’s his MO maybe your friend gets herself a small fridge for her room with a padlock on it? Why put temptation in his way.

DisquietintheRanks · 05/10/2023 20:51

Not funny. But she needs to move out.

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 05/10/2023 20:51

Maybe the next cupcake is chock full of laxatives...... that would be a real shame for the greedy fucker

minou123 · 05/10/2023 20:52

No, its not funny.

If he had accidentally ate a cupcake, thinking it was for him,that would be one thing.

But he is purposely eating all of them, just to be a dick and he thinks it's funny.

What does her mum say?

User1786 · 05/10/2023 20:53

On what basis to the people voting YABU think it’s ok?

Original poster
Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 20:54

She will move out as soon as she’s able. She’s not long fled an abusive boyfriend who financially and physically abused her so she can’t at the moment. which kind of makes me all the more rage-y

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 05/10/2023 20:54

That's not a joke. It's just a rude and greedy man showing rude and greedy behaviour.

Millybob · 05/10/2023 20:55

I'd take £30 out of his wallet.
But really, she's 29 - whatever the factors, she needs to get a place of her own.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 05/10/2023 20:57

He's horrible. It's bullying.

Time for some seriously unpalatable cake baking!

GreyTS · 05/10/2023 20:57

I imagine this is not the only example of weird controlling and abusive behaviour from her disgusting pig of a father so I can easily believe that she was easily led into an abusive romantic relationship. She may need to unpick things a bit, get some therapy maybe, to recognise her father's behaviour is in fact a form of abuse, to ensure she never gets involved with an abusive arsehole again

flowellaben · 05/10/2023 20:58

I'd have to make some pretty cupcakes laced with laxatives.

Beenhereforever1978 · 05/10/2023 20:58

I absolutely fucking hate people like this.

I don't have any advice really other than just take her out for cake by herself but I am really annoyed on your and her behalf.

Food taxers are the worst.

anon0007 · 05/10/2023 20:59

He's doing it on purpose to piss her off.

I would be fuming if someone took my food off my plate when I'd told them no.

minou123 · 05/10/2023 20:59

Maybe make some cupcakes with wasabi hidden in them.

Tlolljs · 05/10/2023 21:00

I’d ask for the £30 for a start greedy git.

Missingmyusername · 05/10/2023 21:02

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 05/10/2023 20:51

Maybe the next cupcake is chock full of laxatives...... that would be a real shame for the greedy fucker

^I would actually do this. In this case. He sounds like a right weirdo.

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/10/2023 21:02

Oh the next cupcake in the fridge would contain something to make him vomit violently and immediately (if such a thing exists).

Its not funny in the slightest, its bullying and depending on context, on the fringes of abusive. The whole 'take someone elses thing despite being told not to, then the owner complains, then the theif says they're being silly/over sensitive as 'its only a cake...''... vile behaviour.

FuglyBitch · 05/10/2023 21:05

Greedy fucker

topshotta · 05/10/2023 21:05

Ew🤢 Ask him for the money back

Original poster
Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 21:05

GreyTS · 05/10/2023 20:57

I imagine this is not the only example of weird controlling and abusive behaviour from her disgusting pig of a father so I can easily believe that she was easily led into an abusive romantic relationship. She may need to unpick things a bit, get some therapy maybe, to recognise her father's behaviour is in fact a form of abuse, to ensure she never gets involved with an abusive arsehole again

Totally agree. We’ve been friends 15 years and I do see these patterns. He’s great in a lot of ways, but a total misogynist in others.

OP posts:
Tempone · 05/10/2023 21:05

You must have missed the bit about her fleeing from an abusive relationship

Millybob · Today 20:55
**
I'd take £30 out of his wallet.

But really, she's 29 - whatever the factors, she needs to get a place of her own.

MayThe4th · 05/10/2023 21:06

He sounds like a twat.

But, you knew what he was like. You know that he always eats food meant for her and yet you essentially partly set her up for some of this upset by sending over cake.

You’re not to blame for what he does, but if you knew what he was like why did you send over cakes knowing that he would only end up upsetting her.

I suspect the people voting yabu did because she’s 29 and really should have her own place. I appreciate that she’s left an abusive relationship, but assuming she doesn’t have children and has a job she can presumably find somewhere to rent? Even if it’s part of a house share.