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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is not a joke let alone a funny one.

105 replies

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 20:43

NC for this as outing if linked to other posts and I believe they’re on here.

One of my best friends dad has a habit of eating her food and thinking it’s the height of hilarity. She still lives at home and is 29 if it’s relevant. various factors mean she can’t move out at the moment.

we went to a beautiful bakery on a day out to London a couple of weeks back and bought some gorgeous little cupcakes, one for each person in the household. Her parents were given there’s. Her dad then later ate hers as well which was in the fridge.

My son sees her as an aunty and we do spend a lot of time together, a couple of months back me my son and my friend were all having dinner together, he came over and said to my son oooh what are you eating give me a bit, my son was a bit taken back and said no, he then proceeded to take the food anyway which really upset my son.

now yesterday we have again bought some beautiful little cakes on a day out of town. But Special trip to a bakery we wanted to try. We ate there, and this time friend only bought one cake for herself. She went to get it from the fridge and it was gone. He’d ate it. She was so upset as she’d had a bad day so I sent her a box of cakes from a local bakery via deliveroo. She was thrilled. Ate one. Told him in no uncertain terms to leave them alone, she has came home today and he’s eaten them all. 6 cakes. I am livid. for my friend and for the fact I’ve spent £30 on a box of 6 cakes for him to gobble and leave her upset again. He’s in fits of laughter but I really don’t think it’s funny

OP posts:

Original poster

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 21:30

JanglingJack · 05/10/2023 21:28

3 cupcakes. Hold his nose and shove them all in.

Obviously don't let him suffocate.

Greedy Pig.

The image of this has just had me roaring laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:

ToriCostner · 05/10/2023 21:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Hooplahooping · 05/10/2023 21:41

D’you think he’s a pathological food addict of some sort who’s dressing it up with humour - or just a total w*er? Either way, I’m sorry for your friend having to put up with it in what should be a refuge after a horrible time

DisquietintheRanks · 05/10/2023 21:42

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 20:54

She will move out as soon as she’s able. She’s not long fled an abusive boyfriend who financially and physically abused her so she can’t at the moment. which kind of makes me all the more rage-y

And her father knows this? Ffs!

SingingNettles · 05/10/2023 21:46

forevaworried · 05/10/2023 21:25

She seriously needs to start lacing her cakes with some laxatives. Sodium picosulphate is a good one. Maybe she could bake some fancy ones then she can do it easier than with shop bought ones. Make them look really pretty …

Or she needs to take photos of her dipping them in the toilet, or something really gross. Then when he’s eaten them show him the pictures of what was done to them before he ate them.

While I imagine that many of these laxative suggestions aren’t entirely serious, I do think it’s worth stressing that spiking food, with the intent that someone else will eat it, is a crime and could result in health problems or death. Sodium picosulphate based laxatives can be particularly dangerous.

Purplebunnie · 05/10/2023 21:47

He is an abusive bully and a very greedy pig. No one needs 5 cakes.

No idea how to deal with him but I would be asking for the money for the cakes.

What does her mom say about it all

Original poster

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 21:47

For context they live in a huge 8 bedroom house, she has her own space. He is very wealthy and would probably throw the £25 at me (in a jokey way!) if I asked

OP posts:

JanglingJack · 05/10/2023 21:54

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 21:30

The image of this has just had me roaring laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Show quote history

Sometimes they have to learn the hard way 🤣

What a vile man.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 05/10/2023 21:57

Send him the fucking bill. What an utter selfish cunt.

He's a bully, he just does whatever the hell he desires and doesn't give a fuck about anyone else. The fact he finds it fucking hilarious just proves he's a bully.

Is there anyway that she can hide things like cupcakes in her bedside cabinet? I personally wouldn't keep them in the fridge anyway. I know she shouldn't have to hide food, but just thinking it's a solution until she can move out.

I don't suppose you have room for her to lodge with you instead?

Original poster

Fatcat00 · 05/10/2023 22:17

Hooplahooping · 05/10/2023 21:41

No I don’t think he does actually! He’s pretty in shape, has a sporty hobby. He’s just a greedy bastard by the looks of things. So sad for her. I wish she could stay with me but my husband would be put out (although kids and I would love it I suppose)

OP posts:

sodthesodoff · 05/10/2023 23:44

So she's left her abusive relationship and gone home to another one

Get a lock for her door. Mini fridge. If that's big a house go as low contact as possible. Just stay out of his way.

Where's her mum in all this? Does she witness this behaviour? Just trying to get some support for her at home.

Dotcheck · 06/10/2023 00:03

It’s not funny, but…

You know he does this, so why send cakes? Send flowers.
It sounds like all your outings are bakery related. I’m torn between :

thinking you should find other outings
thinking she should eat the delicious cakes at the bakery rather than letting them fall prey to her horrible father
wanting to be your friend

Tinkerbyebye · 06/10/2023 00:08

He’s rude

personally I would be buying a couple of cakes and putting a small amount of laxative in

then when he eats he suffers

FrigginFrig · 06/10/2023 00:10

The perfect way to handle it 😂👏

FrigginFrig · 06/10/2023 00:11

@Tinkerbyebye

EvilElsa · 06/10/2023 00:16

There's been a very similar post on here before about a greedy grandad scoffing cakes -I did look but couldn't find it!
I'd also be putting something revolting like dog food or chilli in a batch of cakes for the greedy fucker to steal.

Solonge · 06/10/2023 00:23

Tell your friend to buy some nice chocolate cakes, add extra chocolate fudge icing with Ex Lax. He wont steal her cakes again.

JockTamsonsBairns · 06/10/2023 00:24

He sounds like an insufferable prick. Your poor friend, having to put up with him.

In consolation, if she's living in an 8 bedroom house, she can presumably go very low contact whilst she's living there?

I realise it was a very kind gesture, but sending cake to a communal fridge was always going to have that outcome.
Did you or her have reason to believe that he'd changed his ways?

I'll second pp's, she needs to make a plan to get her own place, because her current living circumstances aren't healthy.

I left an extremely abusive marriage 23 years ago, with a 2yo and a carrier bag of what stuff I could grab quickly.
We were in temporary hostel accommodation for 5 weeks, then we got a 2 bed HA flat. It was a bit grim at first, but it felt like a palace to me.
I didn't have parents I could go to, unfortunately.

I'm 50 now, and DS is 25 - and I'll never stop feeling relieved that we got out.

sun222 · 06/10/2023 00:26

Has he always been like this? I ask because the lack of boundaries (especially with your son), inability to resist sweet foods, including those belonging to others, and inappropriate laughter sounds like there could be a frontotemporal/health issue.

If this has always been his personality please ignore!

sashh · 06/10/2023 00:55

I worked with someone who had given up cakes / chocolate for lent. Her husband was always teasing her and eating chocolate in front of her.

I have a friend who makes soap. The chocolate scrub bar he makes looks like a chocolate brownie so I gave her a sample.

She put it in the fridge and told him she was saving it for Easter.

You can probably fill in what happened next.

You can get them from Etsy (not my friend's but they look similar).

https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/brownie_soap

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/10/2023 01:18

I think that you do need to do the laxative/chilli thing. Make sure that the first one that looks the nicest is laced so full of laxative that he shits his own kidneys, and the second one is hotter than the surface of the fucking sun.

"DO NOT EAT THESE!!!" labels on them. And then wait.

He needs consequences so you need to meet him on his own level and be fucking childish. So make sure you both laugh and laugh when he spends 48 hours on the toilet.

Findyourneutralspace · 06/10/2023 01:23

He’s a greedy pig. Buy her a cake tin for Christmas and tell her to keep it in her room. Unless they are cream cakes they don’t need to be in the fridge.

ThinWomansBrain · 06/10/2023 01:37

I was wondering why they have to be in the fridge.
Like the idea of soap brownies

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 06/10/2023 01:40

Order another 6 op, in fact order a dozen and lace them with a laxative.

I fucking would.

BabyFireflyx · 06/10/2023 01:55

I had this situation. I was in the grip of an eating disorder and if I ever got an appetite I'd get something I really wanted and put the leftovers in the fridge. The next day they were always gone. I'd go days on end without eating and I was always so upset. "D" F being the abusive bastard he always was (as in physically, mentally, emotionally abusive), hugely overweight alcoholic, thought nothing of stuffing his face even after eating the full meal he'd been cooked earlier. He thought it was funny to eat what he knew was mine.
One evening at breaking point I sprinkled something very unsanitary but not obvious on the leftovers. They were, as per usual, gone by the next morning. And he was smirking as I looked in the fridge. He had me on silent treatment so would never speak to me or look at me but as I closed the fridge, I muttered "Oh thank god it's gone, I've have been sick if I'd had to pick that up and put it in the bin!" and did an effective retching noise. Rather than him laughing and sneering at me, the kitchen went silent. He'd eaten it. But he never ate anything of mine ever again.

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