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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told this dad off at the petrol station.

139 replies

Duckingella · 17/09/2023 21:05

A car pulled up next to the pump where my DH was filling the car.

My jaw dropped when I saw inside of it;3 small children,no seat belts,no car seats and one sitting in the front.

I got out of the car and lost my shit with their twat of a father;he at least put their seat belts on before pulling off.

Gobsmacked doesn't even cover it;how can anyone be so damn reckless with their children's safety;I normally wouldn't confront someone like that but I just couldn't leave it.

OP posts:
Anetra · 17/09/2023 21:06

Yabu to lose your shit yes

80skid · 17/09/2023 21:07

Fair play to you. Sometimes people need telling. Unfortunately people can be unpredictable and potentially dangerous but it seems that you are ok and hopefully you have made him reconsider road safety issues.

Tinkerbyebye · 17/09/2023 21:09

I would have called the police

Coffeeandme · 17/09/2023 21:09

A good proportion of parents don’t bother with restraining their DC into appropriate car seats- just stand outside a nursery or primary school and it’s an eye opener.

Maybe would have been better to get his car reg and report to police, although these days they are probably too busy to care either.

PinkRoses1245 · 17/09/2023 21:09

I would written down the registration and reported to the police.

Lavender14 · 17/09/2023 21:10

You should have reported it.

Needmorelego · 17/09/2023 21:11

It may had been some kind of emergency why he had them in the car with no car seats and they have only taken the seatbelts off while in the petrol station.
You don't know the reason why so really I think you should have kept quiet. None of your beeswax really.
Yes he should have had car seats - but what's he gonna do right there that minute. He can't magic 3 car seats out of nowhere.
You could have taken down his number plate number and reported it rather than screaming at him.

EvilElsa · 17/09/2023 21:14

He won't have given a shit OP. He really won't. You think someone who drives around with little kids like that cares if a random women shouts at him? He won't have rushed off to buy three car seats for sure. You'd have been better taking the reg and/or surreptitious photo and reporting it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/09/2023 21:14

I’d like to think I’d have take the number plate and reported him rather than losing my shit. Or had a calm word with him. Losing shit isn’t normally more effective than just speaking to someone.

Alargeoneplease89 · 17/09/2023 21:15

Why not call the police / take video / get number plate?

If he hasn't got the sense to secure his children properly, I doubt it would make much difference by "losing your shit"

pinkyredrose · 17/09/2023 21:15

Anetra · 17/09/2023 21:06

Yabu to lose your shit yes

Why? She did the right thing.

fairyfluf · 17/09/2023 21:16

Echoing PP why didn't you take his reg and call the police

fairyfluf · 17/09/2023 21:21

pinkyredrose · 17/09/2023 21:15

Why? She did the right thing.

Show quote history

How is it the right thing to "lose your shit" that's not going to make any lasting chang.

Solonge · 17/09/2023 21:37

What he was doing was illegal and putting childrens lives at risk. You think she was unreasonable???

Efficaciou5 · 17/09/2023 21:38

It really is none of your business. You do you and he does him.

If you think it's OK to go around "losing your shit" with randomers whose behaviour isn't directly affecting you and yours, because they choose to do things differently from you then it's only a matter of time before you'll find yourself being seriously injured, or even worse.

andweallsingalong · 17/09/2023 21:41

I've previously been told by the police that this is a 999 situation so they can catch them and deal with.

Freezingcoldinseptember · 17/09/2023 21:43

I reported my ex many times for dc not in seats. He always told them he had made just a short journey (30 miles actually) so it was fine. Never got a fine.

Needmorelego · 17/09/2023 21:45

@Solonge actually it's not illegal if this was an emergency situation. Which the OP doesn't know if it was.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 17/09/2023 21:46

Efficaciou5 · 17/09/2023 21:38

It really is none of your business. You do you and he does him.

If you think it's OK to go around "losing your shit" with randomers whose behaviour isn't directly affecting you and yours, because they choose to do things differently from you then it's only a matter of time before you'll find yourself being seriously injured, or even worse.

Societal pressure is a very valid form of pressure to behave in certain accepted ways.

WhateverMate · 17/09/2023 21:46

What does 'losing your shit' involve OP?

I mean, it means different things to different people.

fairyfluf · 17/09/2023 21:47

WhateverMate · 17/09/2023 21:46

What does 'losing your shit' involve OP?

I mean, it means different things to different people.

That is true. Maybe my loosing my shit is more extreme than when OP loses theirs

Needmorelego · 17/09/2023 21:48

Having luckily missed some of the violence in Peckham last week (if I had gone on one particular bus route I would have been there, but I had randomly decided to travel another way) I really think people shouldn't be "losing their shit" at random strangers because you don't know how the situation could evolve.

fairyfluf · 17/09/2023 21:49

Needmorelego · 17/09/2023 21:48

Having luckily missed some of the violence in Peckham last week (if I had gone on one particular bus route I would have been there, but I had randomly decided to travel another way) I really think people shouldn't be "losing their shit" at random strangers because you don't know how the situation could evolve.

I agree. It could end up with someone being killed

Hufflemuff · 17/09/2023 21:51

Be careful for fucks sake.

Say he didn't take kindly to being shouted at by a stranger and decided to beat the shit out of you in the street... just wind your neck in and call the police next time, before you get hurt.

theduchessofspork · 17/09/2023 21:54

PinkRoses1245 · 17/09/2023 21:09

I would written down the registration and reported to the police.

Yes me too - but getting him to put their belts on is a lot better than nothing