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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore car drivers who wave me across?

101 replies

QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 16:51

I get this both as a cyclist and a pedestrian, I usually have a small child with me and I think it's bloody dangerous.

Then they drive off shaking their heads at my lack of gratitude at their supposed benevolence.

Anybody else sick of this? Can drivers just stop doing this and follow the fucking rules?

OP posts:
WishingIWasOnHoliday · 03/04/2023 16:53

No. They are trying to be helpful. If you don’t want to cross then that’s absolutely fine, but you’re being quite dramatic about it!

hettiethehare · 03/04/2023 16:54

I agree.

On one occasion, Mr Benevolent actually drove off sharply shaking his head - only he had to brake suddenly going round a blind bend as there was another car coming the other way - which I could see from where I was standing waiting to cross.

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 16:55

WishingIWasOnHoliday · 03/04/2023 16:53

No. They are trying to be helpful. If you don’t want to cross then that’s absolutely fine, but you’re being quite dramatic about it!

It's not helpful

OP posts:
teacakie · 03/04/2023 16:55

I know how much you hate cars and people who drive so I guess your view is not a very balanced one. It's perfectly fine for a driver to wave someone on depending on the circumstances.

CovertImage · 03/04/2023 16:56

WishingIWasOnHoliday · 03/04/2023 16:53

No. They are trying to be helpful. If you don’t want to cross then that’s absolutely fine, but you’re being quite dramatic about it!

Ye, agree with this. Silly overblown language

Cam22 · 03/04/2023 16:56

Good grief. There is no pleasing some. You must be a delight.

FlounderingFruitcake · 03/04/2023 16:56

Where I live waiting on a car to wave you across is the only way you’re going to cross the road. There’s a traffic island halfway so it works fine. Not dangerous in the slightest?

SamanthaCaine · 03/04/2023 16:57

You're not supposed to wave people across in your car so YANBU. It's dangerous as it often, if not always, leads the person into thinking it's safe to cross/move etc.

Cam22 · 03/04/2023 16:57

hettiethehare · 03/04/2023 16:54

I agree.

On one occasion, Mr Benevolent actually drove off sharply shaking his head - only he had to brake suddenly going round a blind bend as there was another car coming the other way - which I could see from where I was standing waiting to cross.

Must have made your day.

Changes17 · 03/04/2023 16:58

You're right. I remember my driving instructor telling me never to do this. I might think I'm being helpful, but another driver might not realise and might go ahead anyway - could be dangerous.

Penny5534 · 03/04/2023 16:58

Completely agree. Someone was waving me over a road yesterday whilst a car was coming along the other side. Fine for me, I just stood and ignored them. But a child might have walked across. It boils my piss. Same as car drivers who try and let you out when you're driving when it's just not required like in heavy traffic. Someone stopped in the middle of a roundabout recently to try and let me out.

Porridgeislife · 03/04/2023 16:59

teacakie · 03/04/2023 16:55

I know how much you hate cars and people who drive so I guess your view is not a very balanced one. It's perfectly fine for a driver to wave someone on depending on the circumstances.

I don’t cycle and drive a lot and I also hate it. I hate more people who vainly try to wave through cars turning right out of side streets which often creates incredibly unsafe situations.

Covetthee · 03/04/2023 16:59

Is there a new rule that pedestrians have right of way now in some places? Like junctions etc?

either YABU and quite dramatic because people are obviously trying to do a nice thing, they aren’t doing it to wind you up

1984Winston · 03/04/2023 16:59

I completely agree!! I absolutely hate it and drivers look angry at me when I shake my head and stay put, I'm trying to teach my children to cross the road safely I don't want them to think cars will stop for them. I will cross when I think it's safe and not because someone is making me. I get they are only being nice but I absolutely hate it

strawberryjeans · 03/04/2023 16:59

I would also drive off shaking my head. They’re trying to do you a favour.

L3ThirtySeven · 03/04/2023 17:00

Yes you shouldn’t ignore them. If they are waving you across, you should signal your intent to accept or decline either way.

Wave, smile and head nod, if going to cross.
Hand palm out gesture, head shake and then hand motion in direction of their travel for them to continue on, if not going to cross.

Standing there like a shop dummy ignoring them is rude and dangerous.

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:00

1984Winston · 03/04/2023 16:59

I completely agree!! I absolutely hate it and drivers look angry at me when I shake my head and stay put, I'm trying to teach my children to cross the road safely I don't want them to think cars will stop for them. I will cross when I think it's safe and not because someone is making me. I get they are only being nice but I absolutely hate it

This completely!

A child was flung over the bonnet of a car when another waved her across near our secondary school this year.

Makes my blood run cold

OP posts:
ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 17:01

But do you have priority and they are giving you it?

Give Pedestrians Priority at Junctions

https://youtu.be/Jp41zz2W2YU

L3ThirtySeven · 03/04/2023 17:02

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 17:01

But do you have priority and they are giving you it?

This is a good question. I was envisioning not at a junction.

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:03

I know that pedestrians technically have priority

Most cars do not though

OP posts:
hettiethehare · 03/04/2023 17:03

Cam22 · 03/04/2023 16:57

Must have made your day.

Show quote history

Made my day far more than either myself or my child getting hit by that car coming the other way.

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 17:03

Maybe a diagram is needed….

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 17:07

QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:03

I know that pedestrians technically have priority

Most cars do not though

You’re right to wait if you don’t think it’s safe. I imagine the driver thinks they’re damned if they do give priority and damned if they don’t.

ImSidneyFuckingPrescott · 03/04/2023 17:08

I agree, drivers rarely pay attention to what cars on the opposite side of the road are doing. Just because they are letting you go the car coming the other way may not. Most of the time those drives letting you go do gesture as if you're the prat for not just running out.

We actually had a high school girl who was involved in an accident the other month and it was this situation. She possibly felt like she had to cross because someone waved her out and got hit by a bus coming the other way.

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:09

It's not just at junctions either.

Just crossing a road they do it too.

Even on blind bends which I know the driver cannot possibly see round but I can.

OP posts: