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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ignore car drivers who wave me across?

101 replies

QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 16:51

I get this both as a cyclist and a pedestrian, I usually have a small child with me and I think it's bloody dangerous.

Then they drive off shaking their heads at my lack of gratitude at their supposed benevolence.

Anybody else sick of this? Can drivers just stop doing this and follow the fucking rules?

OP posts:
DimplesToadfoot · 03/04/2023 17:09

I won't cross when car drivers wave me across either, I've had drivers wave me over, I've started to cross and they've revved their engines and jerked the car forward making me panic, (I often walk with crutches) I even had my legs trapped between an idiot and the car in front of him, how my knees weren't broken beats me, of course the people in the car are laughing hysterically. But lesson learned, I'll cross when I deem it safe, apologies to the nice people that are genuinely waving me across but I'll no longer take that risk.

diflasu · 03/04/2023 17:11

I hated it with young kids and they can be so persistent -I often left to cross further down.

It was the waving you across them - leaving you then stranded in middle of road with two sets of moving traffic either side and no island to stand on - how the fuck is that safe.

HotPenguin · 03/04/2023 17:13

This is fine if the driver has stopped. What pisses me off is when they just slow down and wave you across, then look indignant if you don't sprint over the road with your toddler/pushchair/crutches. No thanks!

greenbackers · 03/04/2023 17:13

This is why I'd rather walk an extra 20m to a pedestrian crossing.

tommika · 03/04/2023 17:14

Covetthee · 03/04/2023 16:59

Is there a new rule that pedestrians have right of way now in some places? Like junctions etc?

either YABU and quite dramatic because people are obviously trying to do a nice thing, they aren’t doing it to wind you up

It’s not entirely a new rule. It’s more explicitly defined about the order of priority between different road users (a pedestrians position in the hierarchy of road users) and rewording of the circumstances at crossings & junctions etc

There was no actual change to priority at crossings & junctions (vehicles must give way to a pedestrian who is crossing, should give way to a pedestrian waiting to cross and must avoid running people over - all of these rules have existed for decades)

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/the-highway-code-8-changes-you-need-to-know-from-29-january-2022

""

The Highway Code: 8 changes you need to know from 29 January 2022

Rules for all types of road users have been updated in The Highway Code to improve the safety of people walking, cycling and riding horses.

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/the-highway-code-8-changes-you-need-to-know-from-29-january-2022

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:15

greenbackers · 03/04/2023 17:13

This is why I'd rather walk an extra 20m to a pedestrian crossing.

Same!

There's campaigns near me for two more crossings. Good 20 min walk with small kids or mobility issues in places.

OP posts:
OddsocksinmyDocs · 03/04/2023 17:16

YABU. When I'm taking my little one to nursery, if nobody waved us across, we'd still be there now.

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 17:18

YABU and somewhat over dramatic.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 03/04/2023 17:21

teacakie · 03/04/2023 16:55

I know how much you hate cars and people who drive so I guess your view is not a very balanced one. It's perfectly fine for a driver to wave someone on depending on the circumstances.

Agree with this, the OP seems to have a deep hatred of cars in general so I would imagine that her views may be quite skewed on this.

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:24

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 17:18

YABU and somewhat over dramatic.

Which bit is over dramatic? The bit with a teenager being flung over a car bonnet?

OP posts:
Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 03/04/2023 17:31

QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:03

I know that pedestrians technically have priority

Most cars do not though

As long as you don't complain that drivers don't stop to let you go that's fine.

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 17:31

Anybody else sick of this? Can drivers just stop doing this and follow the fucking rules?

This bit ^

Heinzbakedbeans · 03/04/2023 17:35

There's a road I need to cross everyday to get my dcs to school. A few times a week a driver will stop and wave me past. I know they think they are being helpful/kind but it is really irritating because whilst the road is v quiet, it's on a corner and cars come from 5 different directions and some drivers have a habit of bombing it down the two of the roads. I can't see these cars until it is possibly too late so I end up having to stand there waiting because I can hear them coming whilst the nice driver gets pissed off with me. It would be quicker for all if they just carried on.

The other half of drivers in my village seem to be allergic to using their indicators and speed through the zebra crossing during the school runs.

megletthesecond · 03/04/2023 17:37

Yanbu. I quite often piss off drivers by refusing to budge. I cross when there's a gap, not for being flashed.

I don't budge as a driver either if I'm flashed to move into or out of a junction when it's not my right of way. I quite often get the middle finger from bad drivers because of it. If it's their right of way they can move first.

IheartBTS · 03/04/2023 17:40

as a pedestrian, the problem I sometimes encounter is when a driver is signalling for me to cross the road in front of them, but I can’t see them because the sun is reflecting on the windscreen. They then get annoyed with me, but I daren’t risk assuming they are motioning for me to cross if they have in fact only slowed down/stopped for another reason. I could become Flat Stanley!

TrafficBlocking · 03/04/2023 17:45

I hate it when they wave children to cross when there are cars coming the other way, seen a few near misses. Children don't look the other way they assume since one driver is stopping and waving them over all others will.

Kittykat16 · 03/04/2023 17:47

Car drivers have waved me across a busy road, completely ignoring the fact that there are two lanes of traffic and I would probably get run over by a driver in the outside lane. Then they look annoyed when I don't cross.

PrtScn · 03/04/2023 17:51

I never wave pedestrians across, but if I see some waiting on a traffic island and it’s very busy I slow down and leave a massive gap between myself and the car in front. Then it’s up to them to decide if they want to cross or not.

ScrubName19 · 03/04/2023 17:52

Sometimes it is handy like in constant traffic but why do they get angry if you say no thanks.

I hate the ones that slow down and stop to let you across (or out if driving) when there's a huge gap behind them you were getting yourself ready for then end up all flustered or don't cross and then gap is gone. If you are going to be helpful have some self awareness of when it would be appreciated. I do however try to remember it probably comes from a kind place and it's not their fault I'm a grumpy so and so!

Daftasabroom · 03/04/2023 17:54

teacakie · 03/04/2023 16:55

I know how much you hate cars and people who drive so I guess your view is not a very balanced one. It's perfectly fine for a driver to wave someone on depending on the circumstances.

No it isn't. Particularly because it depends on the circumstances and the driver does not know the circumstances of the other road user. You'd fail a driving test if you did this.

Panda89 · 03/04/2023 17:57

I hate this too!
I'm never expecting a car to let me cross so never looking for them slowing down/flashing and I want to model proper crossing to my daughter so I always shake my head at them to say no - but some people are really insistent!
It bugs me because they have no control over traffic on the other side of the road.

Also as I driver I never do this (for pedestrians or cars) unless they have priority, as it is not the correct thing to do.
I hate it when a car randomly slams on their brakes to let someone out a side road! Or people start waving someone to cross across 2 lanes of traffic, no thanks I'll decide for myself when it's safe!

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 17:59

Nice to see I'm not the only one who hates this

OP posts:
Cakeyface123 · 03/04/2023 18:05

Covetthee · 03/04/2023 16:59

Is there a new rule that pedestrians have right of way now in some places? Like junctions etc?

either YABU and quite dramatic because people are obviously trying to do a nice thing, they aren’t doing it to wind you up

This. I thought so too. Although the rule seems ridiculous and dangerous but i thought the pedestrian now has right of way when crossing at a junction

BubziOwl · 03/04/2023 18:06

I was always taught by my driving instructor that it was dangerous to wave people on, pedestrians or other drivers, and to not feel pressured to go after being waved by someone else until you've totally assessed whether it's safe to do so.

So it does stress me a little when people do it. But they're only trying to be kind, so I don't feel annoyed at them.

80sMum · 03/04/2023 18:07

I agree, it's the opposite of helpful.

I also really dislike when drivers try to "help" when I'm driving. This one is particularly annoying:-

I am waiting to turn right from a minor road onto a larger road. I see a gap coming up. There's just one car approaching from the left, indicating that it's going to turn right, into the road that I'm waiting in.
Instead of coming up to the junction and turning, they stop just before it. By the time I've clearly established why they've stopped (ie to let me out) there's traffic coming from my right and the gap has gone so I've missed the opportunity to pull out. If they'd just turned right at the junction as they're supposed to do, rather than stopping to supposedly let me out, then I would have had time to pull out after they'd turned in.
By "helping", they have not only slowed me down but usually by then also have a queue of traffic behind them that they're holding up.
I just wish everyone would simply do the expected thing!