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Original poster

To ignore car drivers who wave me across?

101 replies

QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 16:51

I get this both as a cyclist and a pedestrian, I usually have a small child with me and I think it's bloody dangerous.

Then they drive off shaking their heads at my lack of gratitude at their supposed benevolence.

Anybody else sick of this? Can drivers just stop doing this and follow the fucking rules?

OP posts:
Pestispeeved · 03/04/2023 21:01

Threads like this always make me terrified about the number of car drivers who are unaware of the contents of the Highway Code.

Why are you stopping when there is a huge gap behind you? Have you never used your mirrors.

The 'new rule' about side roads is not new, just frequently unknown of or ignored.

ladybluesky · 03/04/2023 21:06

It's not 'bloody dangerous' for a driver to stop at a junction that you are standing at and indicate for you to cross. They are required to stop at a road they are turning into or out of to let you cross under the Highway Code. If you don't want to cross until the road is clear why not step right back away from the pavement to make it clear you are not ready to cross?

wetpebbles · 03/04/2023 21:08

You are not supposed to wave people across,
I hate it as well and often look in the other direction until I see a break in the traffic so they can't catch my eye,
I also hate having to do the fast walk/run to get across, I would rather wait and cross at my own pace

FictionalCharacter · 03/04/2023 21:11

hettiethehare · 03/04/2023 16:54

I agree.

On one occasion, Mr Benevolent actually drove off sharply shaking his head - only he had to brake suddenly going round a blind bend as there was another car coming the other way - which I could see from where I was standing waiting to cross.

This is exactly the problem. They can’t always see what you can see, then they get narked that you’re not accepting their benevolence because if you did you’d get killed by another car!

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 21:14

ladybluesky · 03/04/2023 21:06

It's not 'bloody dangerous' for a driver to stop at a junction that you are standing at and indicate for you to cross. They are required to stop at a road they are turning into or out of to let you cross under the Highway Code. If you don't want to cross until the road is clear why not step right back away from the pavement to make it clear you are not ready to cross?

This

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 21:15

MartinQBlank · 03/04/2023 20:24

I can't speak for the OP but the situations that get to me are where it is inherently unsafe - either because there is no island and traffic moving the opposite direction, so by crossing I'd get marooned in the middle of the road, or where there are two lanes going the same way and the stopped driver is in the lane closest to the pavement. Someone of a child's height can't use their own judgement to assess safety here, as the stopped car is obscuring the traffic in the other lane. It's not safe for a driver to stop in these circumstances - but they frequently do.

So you - or they - shouldn't be trying to cross there.

retrosteamband · 03/04/2023 21:16

I sometimes get this, at a certain road approaching a junction. Drivers give me way before the junction but might not realise I’m checking 3 way traffic before crossing and there might be a car around the corner. if I cross, I’ll have to leg it and weave through approaching traffic which isn’t safe

UndertheCedartree · 03/04/2023 21:19

I agree. Drivers always trying to do this when it clearly isn't safe. Just get on with your driving and I'll cross when it's safe. Not when you decide to bestow your benevolence into me (and get me run over!)

MartinQBlank · 03/04/2023 21:22

@UsingChangeofName please see my later post - these roads just need a bit of patience to cross. The issue is drivers waving pedestrians to cross when it isn't safe to do so.

UndertheCedartree · 03/04/2023 21:23

UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 21:15

So you - or they - shouldn't be trying to cross there.

Show quote history

It's fine to cross without an island when there is a gap in the traffic on both sides. Just not when drivers like to wave you across because they have slowed on their side, all the while there is still traffic in the opposite direction!

CharlotteDoyle · 03/04/2023 21:23

I wouldn't begrudge someone for doing this since it's intended as a kids/helpful gesture. However I agree it's potentially dangerous if you were to mindlessly follow their invitation to proceed without independently checking it's safe.

Patronising behaviour like head shaking or similar should be ignored and forgotten. You really can't let the dumb reactions of other road users bother you. Especially when you know you're doing the right thing

user1469796848 · 03/04/2023 21:25

Couldn’t agree more OP. I hate other drivers being overly polite waving me through etc. We can’t read each other’s minds. I also like to take my time and ensure all sides are clear before turning rather than feeling pressurised into moving quickly. Stick to the Highway Code.

UndertheCedartree · 03/04/2023 21:28

Dacadactyl · 03/04/2023 18:50

Wow OP, talk about being uptight!

So uptight not wanting to get run over! 🙄

MobilityCat · 03/04/2023 21:35

Use your own judgement when in this situation, it's you that will be hurt if they're wrong.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 03/04/2023 21:41

Heinzbakedbeans · 03/04/2023 17:35

There's a road I need to cross everyday to get my dcs to school. A few times a week a driver will stop and wave me past. I know they think they are being helpful/kind but it is really irritating because whilst the road is v quiet, it's on a corner and cars come from 5 different directions and some drivers have a habit of bombing it down the two of the roads. I can't see these cars until it is possibly too late so I end up having to stand there waiting because I can hear them coming whilst the nice driver gets pissed off with me. It would be quicker for all if they just carried on.

The other half of drivers in my village seem to be allergic to using their indicators and speed through the zebra crossing during the school runs.

Do you have to cross a road where traffic is coming in 5 different directions? That sounds very dangerous. Is there absolutely no safer place to cross?

Sockloon · 03/04/2023 21:46

Funny that OP I like to give pedestrians the middle finger, they get infuriated too. Seems you can't win driving 😂

Original poster
QuertyGirl · 03/04/2023 21:52

Bad drivers: don't be rude!

Everyone else: stop nearly killing us!

Bad drivers: see? That'll just rude!

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 03/04/2023 21:52

MartinQBlank · 03/04/2023 21:22

@UsingChangeofName please see my later post - these roads just need a bit of patience to cross. The issue is drivers waving pedestrians to cross when it isn't safe to do so.

I live on a very busy road, and am very grateful to the drivers that stop when I am trying to cross. It means I then I know the traffic is stopped one way and I only need to wait for a gap the other way.
I (and all my neighbours and all the other pedestrians that need to cross here) are incredibly appreciative of the drivers who see the difficulty and stop to help.

The issue with this thread are people are picturing one place where they cross and presuming it is the same situation for everyone.

snowbellsxox · 03/04/2023 22:01

Yes it makes me feel pressured
Not all the time but if it's a busy road
I think people are just trying to be nice though
Sometimes people do it if they see it's a busy / hard road to get across and they see it as getting you across safely when it can sometimes be worse (double roads)

Thelnebriati · 03/04/2023 22:07

If you don't want to cross until the road is clear why not step right back away from the pavement to make it clear you are not ready to cross?

Read the Highway Code. Pedestrians don't wait at the kerb as a signal to ask drivers to brake in the road.

Heinzbakedbeans · 04/04/2023 08:55

Not really, if I walk on the other side of the road I'd need to cut through a train station car park which isn't ideal. The roads where I am crossing is v v quiet so it is v easy to cross (many times there are no cars at all) hence I don't need drivers to let me cross. More often than not when the driver stops I can hear cars coming up from the two blind corners (& the majority of the time they'd be turning into the road I am trying to cross) so it isn't safe for me to cross but the drivers won't be able to hear these vehicles then get pissed off with me because I'm not crossing. I do appreciate the sentiment but it really is just easier if the car carries on and I wait an extra 2 seconds to cross.

UndertheCedartree · 04/04/2023 10:21

Albiboba · 03/04/2023 19:49

Jesus you’re trying to cross the road and a car slows down and stops for you, you ignore them and you think you’re the one who has the right to be annoyed!

Yes, when if you crossed then you would get run over and the driver is annoyed that you ignored them!

lanthanum · 04/04/2023 10:46

It totally depends on the circumstances. On our route to primary school, there was a road which would have taken forever to cross if people hadn't stopped for us. There was an island in the middle, so it was very safe if they did. A lot of the drivers would previously have been the parents waiting at the side, so they were always generous in doing so.

However I knew a child who was run over when someone stopped to let him out of a side road on his bike - because there was something coming in the other direction and it didn't occur to the child to check. So in that case, yes, it was dangerous.

The other factor in this is that if drivers can see people with small children waiting to cross, they should be aware of the risk that the child does something silly, and so they need to be ready to stop if so. If they're doing that, they might as well stop altogether to let the family cross. I used to train mine that if they were ahead of me in reaching our crossing place, they should stand right against the wall, as far from the road as possible, so that it was quite clear to drivers that they were not going to attempt to cross.

prescribingmum · 04/04/2023 10:53

As others have mentioned, this really depends on the area and circumstances. In our area of London, there are times we would literally never manage to cross if drivers did not stop for pedestrians as the flow of traffic is constant but not standstill. Likewise with drivers stopping to let other drivers go

As a driver, I always look in my rear mirror before stopping for a pedestrian or another car - if there is a big gap behind me, there is clearly no point in me stopping as they will be able to pass after I go. If not, I am inclined to let people go but it is not an obligation, they are very welcome to say no (although no-one ever has!). I should add, I only usually stop where it is an appropriate area to cross such as junctions (as per highway code) or there is an island for the pedestrian to stop at before facing the traffic in other direction.

FlemCandango · 04/04/2023 11:19

I am not a driver I have been a pedestrian for 48 years I have never needed a "helpful" driver to get me across a road.

Waving at me in a patronising benevolent way is an irritant, depending on how the light hits the windscreen it may not even be visible to me on the pavement. I scan beyond the immediate cars to gauge when I want to cross. I may not cross at the first available gap I may wait to have more time or make an opportune dash.

I only need drivers to do their job which is to manage the ton of metal they are seated within, safely and with accordance to the law. I will take care of my own safety and behave in a safe manner crossing the road, if I don't I am likely to be harmed / killed/ cause an accident. I teach my children to be aware of the road, cross when they assess it is safe and ignore wavers. If they crossed just because someone else says it is ok it is dangerous. I warn them against crossing just because other people are crossing as well, you should not rely on other people's senses unless you have no other option.

My son was hit by a van when crossing the road one morning on the way to school. He was on a pelican crossing and had pressed the button and waited for the green man / beep to start crossing. The driver that hit him ran a red light. DS was thrown a considerable distance. He is ok now, but it was a horrible experience and was a salient reminder that you have to rely on your own assessment of the safety to cross as other people make mistakes, ignore traffic lights, act recklessly and a pedestrian is vulnerable.