To ignore car drivers who wave me across?

[QuertyGirl]

I get this both as a cyclist and a pedestrian, I usually have a small child with me and I think it's bloody dangerous.

Then they drive off shaking their heads at my lack of gratitude at their supposed benevolence.

Anybody else sick of this? Can drivers just stop doing this and follow the fucking rules?

YANBU. I used to hate this. For a while I would pretend to be busy fixing a blanket in the pram or something just to not make eye contact so drivers would move on and I could then find an actual gap in the traffic to cross safely.

Wow OP, talk about being uptight!

YANBU. It’s really common where I live and drives me mad. My 4yo is growing up thinking that cars will automatically stop whenever he goes to cross the road so he doesn’t need to bother to stop and look carefully first, it really worries me.

And my do they get shitty with you if you wave them on.

There's a lot of poor drivers on this thread. Yes, OP, of course you are correct to ignore them. It's incredibly dangerous and stupid. Not to mention against the highway code.

You're not alone OP - it's such a bugbear of mine that I started a similar thread a few years back.

It's so dangerous - I've frequently had drivers waving me and kids into the paths of passing cars. Granted there are some circumstances where it's safer eg crossing a single lane to a central island, or where there is very obviously nothing coming the other way - these are not the ones that I mean.

Same with flashing to let people out - seen a couple of very near misses with cars flashing to let other cars go, but not realising that nearby pedestrians thought the flashing was to let them cross.

Less dangerously but also showing similar lack of awareness, cars that have no vehicles behind them doing the same - just use your mirrors, move along and I can cross perfectly fine once you've passed.

I either wave them to go first but usually accept the kind offer and thank them (smile or wave).

If you don't want to, then just indicate to them to go first. Perfectly reasonable to do so if you think it will set an expectation for a young child.

But alive

Context? What specifically are you doing and where are you doing it?

Are you on a zebra crossing or at the side of the M1?

People wave me out (in my car) at the end of my road if they are going to turn in sometimes, without the slightest apparent awareness that someone is overtaking them as they have stopped and if I actually pulled out the overtaker would smash straight into me.

There are a lot of dimwits around.

Yeah it's really annoying when they get annoyed but there's a reason I'm not crossing.

Jesus you’re trying to cross the road and a car slows down and stops for you, you ignore them and you think you’re the one who has the right to be annoyed!

Drivers should not wave pedestrians across, particularly children. It's dangerous. And this thread shows how many really poor drivers are out there.

If you stop for a pedestrian, then stop. Wait. Patiently. Until the pedestrian feels it is safe to cross. Don't expect them to instantly fling themselves into the road on your say-so. They may see dangers that you do not. That's so bloody obvious that I am amazed anyone is arguing otherwise.

If a pedestrian isn't moving off the pavement, it's because it is not safe. Did your driving instructor not cover this? Time for some top-up lessons.

YANBU, I'm a pedestrian with a visible disability and I'm waiting for a safe gap, not an opportunity to feed a drivers ego. People think they are being kind, they want to think more about driving safely.

I know what you mean. Also particularly annoying is when they stop, expecting you to cross, and there is no one even coming behind them! Like, I could have easily waited a few seconds to cross, instead they are pressuring to cross right now, awkwardly, with my bags, ill-fitting shoes, etc. Not to mention the young children who may think it's okay to cross, without looking in the other direction. People need to remember that the only "kindness" on the road is that which keeps everyone safe.

Considering OP is this outraged it’s more likely she’s not moving on principle because she’s decided to get annoyed about something perfectly normal. What are the chances every time a driver stops to let OP across the road that it’s unsafe? Realistically it’s pretty unlikely.

"What are the chances every time a driver stops to let OP across the road that it’s unsafe?"

It only needs to be once

It only needs to be once

I think you are missing the point.

Not difficult for the OP to check the rest of their surroundings and accept the offer if everything else is clear.

Failing that if it really bothers them, wait until the road is clear before stopping.

That’s not really a response to the context of my post or the same as every time a driver stops for OP it’s inherently unsafe by default because she chooses not to cross when it sounds like she just doesn’t cross on some sort of principle.

No one should ever take another person’s word as gospel over anything, I don’t think a single person is saying OP shouldn’t use her own eyes when crossing the road.

I can't speak for the OP but the situations that get to me are where it is inherently unsafe - either because there is no island and traffic moving the opposite direction, so by crossing I'd get marooned in the middle of the road, or where there are two lanes going the same way and the stopped driver is in the lane closest to the pavement. Someone of a child's height can't use their own judgement to assess safety here, as the stopped car is obscuring the traffic in the other lane. It's not safe for a driver to stop in these circumstances - but they frequently do.

I can't speak for the OP but the situations that get to me are where it is inherently unsafe - either because there is no island and traffic moving the opposite direction, so by crossing I'd get marooned in the middle of the road, or where there are two lanes going the same way and the stopped driver is in the lane closest to the pavement. Someone of a child's height can't use their own judgement to assess safety here, as the stopped car is obscuring the traffic in the other lane. It's not safe for a driver to stop in these circumstances - but they frequently do

If the road is deemed that unsafe to cross then why even attempt it? In such a scenario you should find a designated pedestrian crossing.

This felt like a thread I’d seen before, took me a minute but reminds me of the person who was really angry about cars flashing them to pull out of junctions when driving.

On this one, Someone stopped to let me cross the road when I was walking the dog this week, it was really nice of them as the rain was getting pretty heavy. Imagine getting angry about a kind gesture. Weird behaviour imo.

@Soapyspuds the roads themselves weren't inherently dangerous - the specific actions of the drivers were the danger. The roads I'm describing have sporadic traffic where there are regular opportunities to cross safely, albeit with a little patience.

If I waved a pedestrian across and they ignored me, I wouldn't be rolling my eyes, I would assume that they could see something that I couldn't, and take it as a warning.

You’re right, it’s dangerous and I tell my DC never to cross if waived across by drivers. When I was in my late teens, I was waved across by a driver and got hit by a cyclist who came up behind him and hadn’t seen me.