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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pregnant, not allowed to eat at my desk

115 replies

elm26 · 22/02/2023 10:29

Hi

Our manager is well known for having what we call "one of her days" where she gets picky with us.

I work in a team of 17 in an office and have my own desk. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and already working reduced hours as I've suffered hyperemesis since 6 weeks.

Today, she's announced that none of us are allowed to eat at our desks any longer as one banana skin was left in one of the bins overnight and she's told us about this and it makes her feel sick.

I've explained to her in private that if I don't pick/nibble at dry crackers at my desk I will be sick. It's the only thing that stops it. I'm still not allowed to eat.

She's refused my mat b1 form and wants the original which my midwife told me not to give as they can't issue another one if it gets lost, I offered a photocopy but she wants the original one.

What can I do in this situation???

OP posts:
Arthurflecksfacepaint · 22/02/2023 10:34

She’s fucking ridiculous.

Have you got an HR department?

I suffered HG in my pregnancies, only drugs and and a constant supply of dry cream crackers kept me standing.

You can’t go without eating, you will end up on sick leave until maternity. So if she refuses, you have to take a break every ten mins.

But she can’t do that - you need to make a complaint above her.

AvoNw · 22/02/2023 10:37

Stay firm on the MatB form. Keep making it clear that your midwife and the Gov advice is that a photocopy is fine. Send her this link to prove that: www.gov.uk/employers-maternity-pay-leave/records

With the sickness, go to HR and ask for the eating to be including in your health and safety risk assessment.

Or failing that, be sick in a bin right in front of her. I’m sure she’ll be more grossed out by that in a bin than a banana skin!

Sapphire387 · 22/02/2023 10:37

Have you got an HR dept?

Is there a particular reason why you need to hang on to the MATB1? Surely it's there for the purposes of maternity pay so needs to go to your employer. You can take a photocopy or photo and keep that for your records.

I'd write your manager an email and ask her to clarify that the rule re:eating is now in place. Say you need to eat or you'll be sick. Ask for alternatives - ask for extra rest breaks for snacks and ask if you can wfh. Make sure you say it is because of pregnancy.

Either that or vomit as you walk past her desk 😁

EdithWeston · 22/02/2023 10:38

Yes, they need your MATB form. You keep a photocopy. You don't need it for anything other than work. Ask manager/HR to sign a receipt for it if you think that might help.

You'll need to see OH about pregnancy adaptations in your workplace. Do you have an HR dept, so you can circumvent line manager? What you are asking for sounds reasonable to me (especially if the alternative is to be signed off). In the short term, is there anything else that holds the nausea at bay that's even less conspicuous to eat? (Try extra strong mints?) You might find it helpful to have a holding pattern whilst you get reasonable pregnancy adjustments sorted out.

Original poster
elm26 · 22/02/2023 11:00

Thanks everyone.

She is HR so that's amazing 🫠 I've worked here 4 years and she's still as difficult as ever.

We are not even allowed mints or sweets at desk otherwise I could probably get through on sucking a mint or sherbet lemon.

OP posts:
SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 22/02/2023 11:04

She's unreasonable isn't she.
Her feeling grossed out at the sight of a banana skin trumps you actually vomiting if you don't eat said banana. 🤯
Sounds like arguing with a toddler.
Anyone over her head you can go to?

If not you'll have to play it by the book, use company policy documents and government rights info to state your own boundaries.
Awful you are in this position.
How do these nutters end up in charge, it really is a case of shit floats isn't it. 😠

Xrays · 22/02/2023 11:07

She’s very unreasonable.

I don’t think I could help myself saying “Oh dear what a shame if I feel so unwell from not eating regularly I may have to go on sick leave and then lead that straight into maternity leave …. “ (but completely get you wouldn’t want to lose money of course).

Tdcp · 22/02/2023 11:08

I can't imagine having to work whilst having HG. It's amazing that you're even there at all. What a cow.

Good luck OP.

Courtorder · 22/02/2023 11:11

What’s your sick pay like? I had hyperemesis and my sick leave was 100% pay for a year, so I went off sick. I physically couldn’t work, it is what it is.

Original poster
elm26 · 22/02/2023 11:11

I didn't work from 6 to 20 weeks as I was sick 24/7, passing out abs on drips in hospital so they know I could easily get signed off until mat leave starts and I'm one of their highest performers so it's their loss.

She's always been ridiculous, she sent somebody home for wearing a perfume that gave her a headache one day. Baring in mind, she has her own separate office.

I only want to nibble dry crackers and ginger biscuits, I don't want to sit and eat a meal. It's making me miserable 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
elm26 · 22/02/2023 11:12

@Courtorder we only get SSP so it's a bit of a financial nightmare as I've been off for so long already.

OP posts:
SalviaOfficinalis · 22/02/2023 11:14

Be sick on her desk and see if she changes her mind?

Sounds awful OP, sorry you have to put up with this.

Chickenly · 22/02/2023 11:14

Legally, she can’t do that. It’s that simple.

Pregnancy and illness stemming from pregnancy is a protected characteristic. Therefore, she must make reasonable adjustment to accommodate you. Eating little and often is proven medical advice for hyperemesis. Therefore she must, by law, make provision for you to eat little and often and not to your detriment. Allowing you to eat at your desk is a reasonable adjustment. No ifs, no buts, that’s the law.

Personally, if you get sick pay then I’d just go off sick at this point. If not, continue eating at your desk and ignore her.

Frabbits · 22/02/2023 11:16

Legally she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

bellinisurge · 22/02/2023 11:24

She's HR? Ffs. I had HG and was treated very well by my employer. You may end up fainting or vomiting in front of her if she doesn't sort herself out.

WinterMusings · 22/02/2023 11:30

Just go over her head & keep going until you find someone with half a brain cell.

DreamingofGinoclock · 22/02/2023 11:32

elm26 · 22/02/2023 10:29

Hi

Our manager is well known for having what we call "one of her days" where she gets picky with us.

I work in a team of 17 in an office and have my own desk. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and already working reduced hours as I've suffered hyperemesis since 6 weeks.

Today, she's announced that none of us are allowed to eat at our desks any longer as one banana skin was left in one of the bins overnight and she's told us about this and it makes her feel sick.

I've explained to her in private that if I don't pick/nibble at dry crackers at my desk I will be sick. It's the only thing that stops it. I'm still not allowed to eat.

She's refused my mat b1 form and wants the original which my midwife told me not to give as they can't issue another one if it gets lost, I offered a photocopy but she wants the original one.

What can I do in this situation???

She sounds a nightmare.

Just also want to say isn't a bin a perfectly reasonable place to put a banana skin 🤷‍♀️

Surely the problem is the bins not being emptied ...so I'm guessing the company is too stingy to pay for daily cleaning ...or if like other offices I've worked in they don't want to pay cleaners to be emptying numerous bins under desks only have bins in kitchen areas

TwoPointFourCatsAndDogs · 22/02/2023 11:32

Puke in her bin and see how she likes that.

She sounds ridiculous and awful.

Original poster
elm26 · 22/02/2023 11:32

There is one person about her, the MD. He pops in twice a week and doesn't have much to do with us.

OP posts:
Original poster
elm26 · 22/02/2023 11:33

I have a team leader but she's bound by her stupid rules too.

OP posts:
Octonaut4Life · 22/02/2023 11:34

If she's HR can you go above her head to head off hr or equivalent?

Bunny2021 · 22/02/2023 11:34

Chickenly · 22/02/2023 11:14

Legally, she can’t do that. It’s that simple.

Pregnancy and illness stemming from pregnancy is a protected characteristic. Therefore, she must make reasonable adjustment to accommodate you. Eating little and often is proven medical advice for hyperemesis. Therefore she must, by law, make provision for you to eat little and often and not to your detriment. Allowing you to eat at your desk is a reasonable adjustment. No ifs, no buts, that’s the law.

Personally, if you get sick pay then I’d just go off sick at this point. If not, continue eating at your desk and ignore her.

This!!

She legally has to make adjustments. I'd make sure you write this all down in an email to her so you have a record.

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 22/02/2023 11:35

Turn you chair away from your desk when you want a cracker then turn back around problem solved

Original poster
elm26 · 22/02/2023 11:35

@DreamingofGinoclock they won't pay for a cleaner no so she hoovers and empties bins. We have 4 or 5 mini bins dotted around the office but we all empty them if we notice they're full, we all also wipe over our desks with anti bac etc so all she does is hoover and put the dishwasher on once we've put our mugs in there from the day.

She has told us before the smell of banana skin makes her feel sick so it must be put in the big bin in the kitchen, I'm guessing one of our new members of staff put it in the bin closest to them. As you would do.

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 22/02/2023 11:36

Union?