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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pregnant, not allowed to eat at my desk

115 replies

elm26 · 22/02/2023 10:29

Hi

Our manager is well known for having what we call "one of her days" where she gets picky with us.

I work in a team of 17 in an office and have my own desk. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and already working reduced hours as I've suffered hyperemesis since 6 weeks.

Today, she's announced that none of us are allowed to eat at our desks any longer as one banana skin was left in one of the bins overnight and she's told us about this and it makes her feel sick.

I've explained to her in private that if I don't pick/nibble at dry crackers at my desk I will be sick. It's the only thing that stops it. I'm still not allowed to eat.

She's refused my mat b1 form and wants the original which my midwife told me not to give as they can't issue another one if it gets lost, I offered a photocopy but she wants the original one.

What can I do in this situation???

OP posts:
BlueberryBuffin · 22/02/2023 11:39

Could you "misunderstand" her and agree not to eat bananas in the office? Continue with your crackers?

Margarita45 · 22/02/2023 11:40

Fuck that. In all honestly I’d just eat, what is she actually going to do. Sack you, sounds like you’re better off out the place anyway. I really doubt anyone would let her make such a massive mistake as I’m sure it’s be costly after a tribunal. I’d probably enjoy goading her, but I’ve lost all patience for these type of work wan*ers.

What a twat.

Landndialamrhf · 22/02/2023 11:41

Send an email
thanks for the info on the new rule, as discussed already I’ll of course still be eating crackers for this reason. But I’m happy to not eat other food or meals, that don’t relate to my medical condition in recognition of this new rule.
then just eat
if she says you can’t, just laugh as though you assume she’s joking because of course as he she knows about your legal right to reasonable adjustments for medical conditions.
then just eat
what’s she going to do? Come take it out your hand? Fire you? You’d get a massive pay out if you’re an employee and have been a while.

Nowthenhere · 22/02/2023 11:44

What happens if you ignore her suggestions on what you do and don't put in your mouth in a particular location?

If she challenged you could you just say "that doesn't work for me." And keep eating or would she physically remove you from your desk?Is

TangledWebOfDeception · 22/02/2023 11:46

Bunny2021 · 22/02/2023 11:34

This!!

She legally has to make adjustments. I'd make sure you write this all down in an email to her so you have a record.

Show quote history

This.

Continue eating and tell her she is acting illegally.

MyPurpleHeart · 22/02/2023 12:04

What's your sick policy if you turn up for work and then go home when you feel sick? in my company you'd still be paid for this as SSP doesn't apply to half days

Do that every single day when you feel sick. Any manager worth their salt will have the 'what can we do to keep you at work' chat, and you say, let me eat when I feel sick.

If she wants to play petty then outplay her

WiIson · 22/02/2023 12:06

Chickenly · 22/02/2023 11:14

Legally, she can’t do that. It’s that simple.

Pregnancy and illness stemming from pregnancy is a protected characteristic. Therefore, she must make reasonable adjustment to accommodate you. Eating little and often is proven medical advice for hyperemesis. Therefore she must, by law, make provision for you to eat little and often and not to your detriment. Allowing you to eat at your desk is a reasonable adjustment. No ifs, no buts, that’s the law.

Personally, if you get sick pay then I’d just go off sick at this point. If not, continue eating at your desk and ignore her.

This.

Nicecow · 22/02/2023 12:08

Throw up on her desk. Tell her she was warned.

Toddlerteaplease · 22/02/2023 12:09

She sent someone home for wearing perfume that gave her a headache? Please tell me the other person refused to go. She sounds worse than a toddler!

MourningTea · 22/02/2023 12:10

Go off sick for hyperemesis.
They can't discriminate as you are pregnant anyway.

MelchiorsMistress · 22/02/2023 12:11

She sounds ridiculous, but personally I agree with not eating at desks. If that means you need a slight adjustment because of your pregnancy meaning that you need to be allowed to leave your desk for 5 mins every couple of hours them so be it. Biscuits shouldn’t be a problem but by allowing food at desks it means people could eat things that were nosy or smelly and it’s just unprofessional. I work in an environment where you can’t eat whenever you feel like it and pregnant women just have to manage around it. I image it would be worse for them if people were eating stinky food while they were trying to work.

gamerchick · 22/02/2023 12:12

You can get an outside HR in if you want too, You don't have to use your companies. Can't remember the ropes like, maybe give ACAS a ring for advice.

Cosycover · 22/02/2023 12:15

I would just eat the crackers. She won't physically come take them from you.

TangledWebOfDeception · 22/02/2023 12:15

MelchiorsMistress · 22/02/2023 12:11

She sounds ridiculous, but personally I agree with not eating at desks. If that means you need a slight adjustment because of your pregnancy meaning that you need to be allowed to leave your desk for 5 mins every couple of hours them so be it. Biscuits shouldn’t be a problem but by allowing food at desks it means people could eat things that were nosy or smelly and it’s just unprofessional. I work in an environment where you can’t eat whenever you feel like it and pregnant women just have to manage around it. I image it would be worse for them if people were eating stinky food while they were trying to work.

Leaving your desk for 5 min every 2 hours is not a feasible adjustment when the woman is suffering with hyperemesis.

Namechangedagain20 · 22/02/2023 12:17

I’ve always handed in my original MatB1 each time. I just kept a photocopy version (it actually says on the gov website that you only need a photocopy). My employers have always needed the original.

The rest of us YANBU. If she’s HR can you speak to her manager?

Birdsbirdsbirds · 22/02/2023 12:19

I'd carry on eating, get everything in writing, let her sack me and then take them to court.

ItchyBillco · 22/02/2023 12:20

I think you have to go to the MD, detail everything in an email, including all the failings regarding your pregnancy, citing the law of necessary.

Are you in a union?

Frankly, she needs hauling over the coals. She sounds appalling.

LizzieSiddal · 22/02/2023 12:23

I’d send an email CCing the boss, attach a copy of your mat form, and explain that because of your medical situation you will still be eating dry crackers at your desk, if you need to. Point out that under the Equality Act the company must make provision for your medical condition and if they don’t wish you to eat at your desk, you will leave the room every 30 mins to eat a cracker.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 22/02/2023 12:25

I'd still eat the cream crackers. What is she going to do?

NotAnotherBathBomb · 22/02/2023 12:26

Tell her it's either the cream crackers or the smell of vomit all over the floor

Codlingmoths · 22/02/2023 12:27

Email her, the team leader and her boss, saying hi Emma/her name, I’ve tried to talk to you re this new rule of yours that no one eats at their desk. As you know I will be sick if I don’t constantly nibble at foods like dry crackers. These are inoffensive foods and I’m confident allowing this is a reasonable adjustment Ie one that companies are required to make for pregnancy so I shall continue my snacking so that I can continue to turn up to work. If I can’t eat frequently it’s not a safe workplace for me as being so unwell is bad for the baby, which is very well documented with hyperemesis. If it’s not a safe workplace I believe the company must find me something else or send me home on full pay until you can, but I haven’t properly looked into that, I’m sure it won’t be necessary.
Thanks for your understanding.

and carry on snacking. Here’s guidance on suspension on full pay if work can’t make it safe maternityaction.org.uk/advice/health-and-safety-during-pregnancy-and-on-return-to-work/

daisychain01 · 22/02/2023 12:29

I'd carry on eating those dry crackers and ginger nuts @elm26

I'd write your manager an email requesting it as a Reasonable Adjustment under the Equality Act (2010) and point out to her in case she has failed to realise, that being pg is a protected characteristic. And not least of all that a few dry crackers to control your nausea is hardly the same as sticking a full blown curry or chilli con carne in the microwave and stinking out the whole office eating it at your desk (which is what I thought this thread was about).

she's an idiot if she can't be flexible in her thinking and insists on making draconian rules based on a bloody banana skin.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 22/02/2023 12:36

If that means you need a slight adjustment because of your pregnancy meaning that you need to be allowed to leave your desk for 5 mins every couple of hours them so be it.

That's not what it would mean. OP has hyperemesis.

That being said, arguably the manager deserves to feel the consequences of this decision, so perhaps OP might decide to get up every couple of minutes, proceed straight to the kitchen area, sit down and eat her cracker and only then return to the desk. Or alternatively she could just be sick in the bin a few times to make the point.

Cherrysoup · 22/02/2023 12:39

She should, as HR, have already done the pack making adjustments (Health and Safety) for your pregnancy. Have you had that meeting yet? She is being ridiculous. I would make a point of speaking to the MD.

Aquamarine1029 · 22/02/2023 12:40

I'd completely ignore her. There's not a thing she can do about you eating crackers at your desk.