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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pregnant, not allowed to eat at my desk

115 replies

elm26 · 22/02/2023 10:29

Hi

Our manager is well known for having what we call "one of her days" where she gets picky with us.

I work in a team of 17 in an office and have my own desk. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and already working reduced hours as I've suffered hyperemesis since 6 weeks.

Today, she's announced that none of us are allowed to eat at our desks any longer as one banana skin was left in one of the bins overnight and she's told us about this and it makes her feel sick.

I've explained to her in private that if I don't pick/nibble at dry crackers at my desk I will be sick. It's the only thing that stops it. I'm still not allowed to eat.

She's refused my mat b1 form and wants the original which my midwife told me not to give as they can't issue another one if it gets lost, I offered a photocopy but she wants the original one.

What can I do in this situation???

OP posts:
MrsOvertonsWindow · 22/02/2023 13:29

A quick suggestion OP - email her back and put into writing what she's just said.
So something like "Thank you for responding to my email with a meeting. Thank you for recognising that pregnancy is a protected characteristic and for making reasonable adjustments to allow me to manage my pregnancy in the work place. I am confirming that in our discussion you have advised me that you are allowing me to eat crackers, ginger biscuits and fruit at my desk and that you are currently not placing any restrictions on this. Please advise me if your decision changes at any stage.

Formally record everything with her.

Blossom45 · 22/02/2023 13:30

Do you have occ health op? They should help.

LadyVictoriaSponge · 22/02/2023 13:32

I bet she eats at her desk in her cosy private office.

skyeisthelimit · 22/02/2023 13:34

It sounds like she has come round now, but if you need any further advice then contact ACAS.

Redebs · 22/02/2023 13:38

Chickenly · 22/02/2023 11:14

Legally, she can’t do that. It’s that simple.

Pregnancy and illness stemming from pregnancy is a protected characteristic. Therefore, she must make reasonable adjustment to accommodate you. Eating little and often is proven medical advice for hyperemesis. Therefore she must, by law, make provision for you to eat little and often and not to your detriment. Allowing you to eat at your desk is a reasonable adjustment. No ifs, no buts, that’s the law.

Personally, if you get sick pay then I’d just go off sick at this point. If not, continue eating at your desk and ignore her.

This.
Good luck OP. Hope the nausea passes eventually.
I found Carrs Water Biscuits were a great help and couldn't have managed without them.
Your employer has to make reasonable adjustments for you and this is definitely reasonable.

Poppins2016 · 22/02/2023 13:38

I'd ask your doctor for a fit note that states that you can work subject to the 'workplace adaptation' of being allowed to eat regularly at your desk (or being provided with regular breaks to eat away from your desk).

StressedToTheMaxxx · 22/02/2023 13:38

People saying that you don't need the MATB1 form for anything other than work, that's not necessarily correct. I went through a breakup during pregnancy and needed my MATB1 form to ahow the local housijg asosciation as proff that I would need a 2 bedroom flat. There can be other things that it's required for.

iloveeverykindofcat · 22/02/2023 13:39

If you aren't in a union OP, join one. ASAP.

Lambchop1 · 22/02/2023 13:39

HR immediately. This is discrimination and needs pulling on it.

GoldilockMom · 22/02/2023 13:42

Not read all but ring ACAS

free legal advice available

Shemovesshemoves21 · 22/02/2023 13:45

Just give it a good ignoring and carry on eating at your desk.

What is she realistically going to do?

Shemovesshemoves21 · 22/02/2023 13:47

elm26 · 22/02/2023 12:55

I'd just like to add that I'm probably about as aggressive as a goldfish is so actually in shock that she called me aggressive.

I told her it's not aggressive to ask for something to be confirmed in writing, it's a basic right.

Just saw your update so ignore my post! Well done OP!

Rinkydinkydoodle · 22/02/2023 13:57

Thelnebriati · 22/02/2023 13:22

Contact ACAS today. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic.

Good advice. If it was me, I’d email ACAS explaining briefly what’s been going on and asking for guidance. Mention that there has been no risk assessment and that she verbally agreed to to accommodate you once you put your protected characteristic in writing, but called you aggressive. BCC your DH or a pal or someone. It’s not because you’re planning to do anything with it and you likely won’t need to, but you will have time-stamped evidence that this happened should there be any future comeback. Boss sounds crackers (ironically).

GoldenCupidon · 22/02/2023 14:16

MrsOvertonsWindow · 22/02/2023 13:29

A quick suggestion OP - email her back and put into writing what she's just said.
So something like "Thank you for responding to my email with a meeting. Thank you for recognising that pregnancy is a protected characteristic and for making reasonable adjustments to allow me to manage my pregnancy in the work place. I am confirming that in our discussion you have advised me that you are allowing me to eat crackers, ginger biscuits and fruit at my desk and that you are currently not placing any restrictions on this. Please advise me if your decision changes at any stage.

Formally record everything with her.

This is really good advice, especially for the next time she decides she's the Emperor Nero and makes up an arbitrary rule.

I think you've done the perfect thing here.

If you all work in HR I think you all need some training on how to manage pregnancy in the workplace!

AdoraBell · 22/02/2023 14:19

Scan the document and email it to her.

AlbertaAnnie · 22/02/2023 14:23

She is ridiculous- I can’t beilbe she works in HR as she is breaking the law - you are entitled to reasonable adjustments- if she won’t do this you can take her to employment tribunal and go off on the sick.

Pirrin · 22/02/2023 14:26

Banana needs to go in kitchen bin, not unreasonable. But the hypocrisy that this must be adhered to primarily because it makes her feel sick, whilst having zero empathy for the fact that you also wanted to not feel sick at work is ridiculous!

Madamecastafiore · 22/02/2023 14:26

Be sick on her shoes. It's a bigger to get out and may just hammer home your point.

DaveyJonesLocker · 22/02/2023 14:28

Just eat at your desk. What's she going to do? She can't legally do anything because you need to, she can't sack you. She's on a little power trip and someone needs to put a stop to it.

Someone went home because she didn't like their perfume? Wtaf?

StrawBeretMoose · 22/02/2023 14:32

Keep breadsticks up your sleeves and eat those!
Seriously though, I'd email her so you have a written record and if she persists then email back asking if she can confirm that she's refusing to make reasonable short term adjustments due to pregnancy related illness.

Could the whole team do a mass eat at desks demo, see her explode!

lieselotte · 22/02/2023 14:42

Tell her to bog off, you can't be told you can't eat non-smelly things at your desk. Whether pregnant or not.

If someone said this to me, I'd tell them to stop micromanaging me and remind them I was an adult. There are limits.

I had a boss who told me to print something off instead of working off a screen. I told her I wasn't a trainee, and would work in the way that suited my way of working. She wasn't impressed, but she backed down.

Tekkentime · 22/02/2023 14:42

People like this make going to work unpleasant for so many.

Somehow they always have some small amount of power and despite clearly not being right for the job, never get fired. Everyone else eventually quits instead.

lieselotte · 22/02/2023 14:43

Someone went home because she didn't like their perfume? Wtaf

I actually have more sympathy with this, certain perfumes are awful.

lieselotte · 22/02/2023 14:43

Tekkentime · 22/02/2023 14:42

People like this make going to work unpleasant for so many.

Somehow they always have some small amount of power and despite clearly not being right for the job, never get fired. Everyone else eventually quits instead.

Yes my micromanaging boss is still there. Goodness knows how.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 22/02/2023 14:47

elm26 · 22/02/2023 13:06

I don't know if it definitely was.

It's not my job to tell people what they can and can't do, I'm not a manager. I get paid to do my work and then go home.

If I saw somebody about to do it I'd obviously remind them to save them getting in trouble but I'm not going to police the bins.

Show quote history

Where did I say that you should police the bins? Surely it makes sense to have a list for new starters otherwise a similar thing will happen again and everyone will suffer?

If you can't be bothered to do it then fine, but surely it will help everyone (you included).

If you don't care then just carry on complaining on MN each time your manager is unreasonable!