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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you what you love about your adult parents? This is to contrast with the current other thread about what makes you rave/rant about your pare.

93 replies

Mammajay · 05/02/2023 18:53

My parents are dead now but I loved my mum because even when she had no clue what was going on in my life,having had a much simpler life, she was always there for me trying to make things better.

OP posts:
Insanity012 · 05/02/2023 18:57

My dad would drop anything to help me and has endless patience. He will try and fix my phone, my laptop, television, anything.
Never makes me feel inadequate.
Constantly tells me how kind and caring I am.
How everyone loves him, from people to animals.

itsabigtree · 05/02/2023 18:58

My mum is so enthusiastic and doesn't even realise it. She's excited by small things and it's a pleasure to be around her. She is also so, so kind to me, and looks after me when I need it. Understands me as an adult.
My dad is quirky and although a bit over emotional and complicated, has a good heart. He genuinely knows everything. He loves my husband and my kids.

Had a strained relationship in early 20s with them both but now aside from my husband and kids, there is no-one else I'd rather spend time with.

UserNameSameGame · 05/02/2023 18:59

That they are utterly head over heels in love with each other after 50 years of marriage.

That they still expect me to phone them to let them know I got home OK after I leave their house (I am nearly 50 and live less than 5 miles away).

Merrow · 05/02/2023 19:00

We're going through a really hard time right now (DS in NICU). My parents are cooking for us, looking after our older DS, given us money so that DP can take unpaid leave from work. Basically done everything they can to help make our lives easier.

Lkydfju · 05/02/2023 19:02

My mum always tries to help when she knows things are hard - money, time, a bunch of flowers - anything.

Cosmos123 · 05/02/2023 19:07

Allways have my back.
Support us, help with childcare cook for us.
Love us all siblings equally.

And we have to ring to say we got home safely even thought they live 5 mins away.

resipsa · 05/02/2023 19:08

As a young adult, I remember ringing my dad at work to ask him something (hugely important to me then but in hindsight was something) very, very trivial. When he came on the line, he sounded a bit tinny. It transpired that they had patched the call through to the operating theatre on loudspeaker- he was a surgeon - because he insisted that any call from me must be important enough to interrupt him mid-operation. I miss him 🙁.

laloue · 05/02/2023 19:11

My mum has totally come out of her shell since my stepdad died in November, buying pink kitchen appliances and crazy curtains. She still “slips “ me a tenner here and there for a treat(it was £1 coins 30 years ago.).She’s dottier than ever , learning how to be free and happy again. It’s wonderful…and she’s recently told me she loves me…we just were never like that when he was alive.

Veryverycalmnow · 05/02/2023 19:18

No vocal judgement about any of my life choices. They are in the background cheering me on quietly especially with parenting. It's not always been smooth. They have made up for any past mistakes and we've rebuilt a relationship.

Zola1 · 05/02/2023 19:19

My dad will drop anything to come and help me or to listen. He is endlessly patient, kind, generous and supportive. He has been such an important male role model in my daughters life...he's always taken her swimming, climbing, football, watersports, all the things I hate. He helps me out whenever I create a stupid situation for myself. He has always helped with childcare. He is unbelievably selfless and just such a kind, gentle and considerate man. He is super supportive of my career as well and always happy to listen to the latest office politics or whatever.

Parisj · 05/02/2023 19:24

I've started talking about interesting non fiction philosophy books with my 78 year old Dad, and we send them to each other sometimes.

Parisj · 05/02/2023 19:25

DM holds us in mind all the time and puts out endless positivity and care.

FelicityFlops · 05/02/2023 19:29

They were both kind, understanding with a wonferful sense of humour.
Accepted boundaries from their adult children, adored the grandchildren and were just really fun to have around.
Sadly both died, thankfully before covid.

imloosingthisgsme · 05/02/2023 19:29

My mum was my lifesavers when my ds was born. I suffered post natal depression and without my mum, I honestly don't think I'd be here today. Even now, 15 years later she always checks up, does anything to help our lives easier, takes dc to school a couple of days so I can work.

2chocolateoranges · 05/02/2023 19:30

I love everything about my mum. She was widowed at 32 ( my father committed suicide in our home) and left with a 4 yr old and a 9yr old to bring up herself. She has always put us first and would go without to see us happy, She has a get up and go attitude, is brave, strong and no matter what life throws at her she always sees the positive. I’ve never heard her bad mouth anyone.

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 05/02/2023 19:30

My love for my mum goes deeper than anything.

BigGreen · 05/02/2023 19:30

Love my Dad's beautiful garden, how much he nurtures the plants and also the people in his life. He's always good humoured, always something supportive to say.

MadameSzyszkoBohusz · 05/02/2023 19:32

I've only ever had the one parent, and she's fab. Endlessly loving, kind and supportive. She genuinely loves taking care of her grandchildren, and is always there for me, both practically and emotionally, whenever I need her.

RNBrie · 05/02/2023 19:34

My dad is amazing. He's so kind and generous with his time and his love. Nothing is too much trouble, my children adore him and we'd all do anything for each other. He's super smart and will listen to any worries or troubles and offer well reasoned advice. He'll also tell me when I'm wrong. Other than my dh, he's probably the only person in the world I trust completely.

Thanks for this thread, it's really nice to have given this some thought.

Giggorata · 05/02/2023 19:39

Mine have been dead now for some time. They were quite unworldly in many ways and very loving.

My mum invented the kitchen roll, by having a loo roll hanging up in the kitchen for nose blowing and general wipes. I got embarrassed b friends sniggering about it but it did work rather well. She didn’t give a fuck.

Mumdiva99 · 05/02/2023 19:39

I turned up for tea with a raging hangover and was allowed to stay in bed. No judgement. No 'you should know better'. They fed the rest of the family and left me alone. (I am old enough to know better, and deserved some tough talking).

BeaLola · 05/02/2023 19:40

I count myself unbelievably lucky in that both my parents were so utterly kind, supportive and had my back whenever (not that I appreciated it when younger). I miss my Mum every day and am so sad that she never got to meet my DS and be the fab Nan that she would have been .

My lovely Dad is 91 with various health complaints but is always so loving , thoughtful and kind - more cup is always nearly full rather than anything else . We speak every day and he is joyful - after a visit I have to give 2 rings when I get home so he knows I'm back. He would do anything for you .

He says people should smile more and that every day is a good day only some are better than others ! He makes the world feel special

Sneakyblinders · 05/02/2023 19:40

I relate more to the other thread but these are lovely - and show me the kind of parent I want to be for my children.

Mumdiva99 · 05/02/2023 19:41

2chocolateoranges · 05/02/2023 19:30

I love everything about my mum. She was widowed at 32 ( my father committed suicide in our home) and left with a 4 yr old and a 9yr old to bring up herself. She has always put us first and would go without to see us happy, She has a get up and go attitude, is brave, strong and no matter what life throws at her she always sees the positive. I’ve never heard her bad mouth anyone.

Wow - what an inspiration. To go through so much so young with 2 young kids. And still be positive.

Icouldbehappy · 05/02/2023 19:48

My mum and dad are absolutely AMAZING. They adore their grandsons and would do anything for any of us. And they have done.

They have always been a huge support to us and my dad can fix anything. Everyone totally adores them.

I/We have have some very tough times and they’ve always been there for us.
They are both great fun and great company.

I had an extremely happy childhood and am very grateful to them both.