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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you what you love about your adult parents? This is to contrast with the current other thread about what makes you rave/rant about your pare.

93 replies

Mammajay · 05/02/2023 18:53

My parents are dead now but I loved my mum because even when she had no clue what was going on in my life,having had a much simpler life, she was always there for me trying to make things better.

OP posts:
Geamhradh · 05/02/2023 19:50

Brought me up on her own, in the 60s, getting up at 5 to drop me at my gran's then worked a 10-12 hour day before picking me up at 7pm. She went back to full time work when I was 5 weeks old.

She had nothing. No qualifications, no money, no man.

By the time I'd grown up she had 4 A levels (one of which she sat on the same day as me) and an OU degree. She was a high up manager in an international company by then.

Her passion for life and enthusiasm for just about everything I hope lives on through me and DD. In her 70s she went to Argentina, India, Israel and Palestine and ran the local U3A.

I hear her in me these days when DD and I go shopping and I say "oh, let's go and have a squirt of all the perfume" and when I say to DD "spend a bit more money and buy something that will last".

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 05/02/2023 19:53

What a lovely thread - I'm in tears reading it.

runwithme · 05/02/2023 19:58

My mum would pop in with some extra shopping for us (normally treats for the kids) or cook us a meal. She's also great with the kids, gets on brilliantly with my husband and is just lovely company. Dad, who has sadly passed, was just the kindest, gentle soul. He had the same dad-joke repertoire, and was so generous and dedicated to his family.

Overthinkingnotdrinking · 05/02/2023 20:05

My mum is brave, never complains about her lot in life and makes me laugh.

skingraft · 05/02/2023 20:08

That they are utterly head over heels in love with each other after 50 years of marriage.

Aw love this. Doubt many people can say the same.

Fenella123 · 05/02/2023 20:15

Mum always said she loved me and I never doubted it. She showed me how to love people.
Dad had had a tricky childhood and ... that kind of showed ... but he always tried to do the right thing, he was always reliable and he almost never spoke ill of people.
They split up when I was very small, but they both loved to travel and see new places and I still have postcards and souvenirs from them from all over the world.

SybilofCumae · 05/02/2023 20:19

They love my sons so completely. Nothing gives them greater pleasure than finding ways to show them how much they love them.

They love and respect my husband for the wonderful father and partner he is.

My dad is just the cleverest person I know and when I ever need to know something or have something explained I can guarantee he'll know and he'll sort out whatever I ask.

My mum puts such care into making things lovely for everyone. Beautiful food, garden, decorations, bed linen etc etc. It may not sound important but I know even teenage boys appreciate how much care grandma puts into this.

They love and champion me and believe I could do anything.
They are funny and good company.

Stardu · 05/02/2023 20:20

They’re very chilled out, don’t mind mess or lateness or anything like that.

BurntOutGirl · 05/02/2023 20:20

My wonderful Mum is the most fantastic cook. She shows her love with food and fills my freezer with homemade pies, Bolognese, cakes etc.

She loves to fuss and look after people. She'd be in her element if there was a major incident and she had to take people in for the night..... only a couple of night's though as she has a beautiful garden to take care of!

My dear dad. Lost him far to early. He was a gentle man, didn't say a lot.... but when he did you knew to listen. He could turn his hand to anything - building, plumbing, electrics etc. Was so clever.

Badger1970 · 05/02/2023 20:23

My Dad died 10 days ago. He wasn't always the best Dad growing up, but improved with age and adored his grandchildren and great grandchildren. He never judged, and was always there to listen.

I never realised how proud he was of me but one of his carers met me in the corridor by his room one day when he was in the hospice and said "your Dad is so proud of you, he's been telling us all about your children, grandchildren and your business". It was such a kind thing for her to pass on and I'll always be grateful she did.

I miss the old bugger terribly.

Dottymug · 05/02/2023 20:24

@onlyoneoftheregimentinstep me too. What a lovely thread.

imloosingthisgsme · 05/02/2023 20:24

@BeaLola

Your dad sounds wonderful. I love the " every day is a good day only some are better than others". I'm definitely going to start thinking like that

plumduck · 05/02/2023 20:25

They are both so kind and caring and gentle souls. I feel sad when I think I may not have them in my life much longer

Dumbo18 · 05/02/2023 20:25

My Mum died when me and my siblings were children, very unexpected. My Dad has been there for us all every single day since (25 years ago) he took the role of mum and dad and it wasn’t always perfect and we didn’t have much but I always knew I had my dad. Looking back now he must have been absolutely heartbroken but still put us first over everything and everyone. We’re all grown up now with our own children and he’s just as much there for his grandkids now. Could ring him night or day and he’d come. In tears writing this and thinking about him

Geamhradh · 05/02/2023 20:30

Flowers @Badger1970

Auldfangsyne · 05/02/2023 20:31

They both loved me unconditionally and never wanted to put pressure on me. They let me be me. They also helped set me with driving lessons and help through uni and for a house deposit.

My dad has been dead for 10 years. I miss his intelligence, his skill at fixing anything.

My mum is declining in her later years. I'm so glad she got to see and enjoy her grandchildren whilst she was still able to. She loves little kids and toys are it's been a joy to see her with her grandchildren.

the tables have turned and it's been my turn to support them for the last year's of their lives and it's been a honour to be able to help them.

GiveUsACwtch · 05/02/2023 20:34

My mum is just wonderful. Always there when I need a listening ear or a hand with anything. She came to my house this morning whilst I was at work ,sent DH back to bed as he's been ill with a sickness bug, looked after the kids and made a dent in the housework that had built up over the last 5 days or so. My stepdad is also just as wonderful, treats me and my DB just the same as he treats his own DS's. My DC adore him and he them.

My relationship with my dad was very rocky when I was a child. His various drug/alcohol addictions took over his life. Thankfully he's been clean for 16 years and has become the dad I had always wished he was. Always at the end of the phone when I need him, anytime of day or night, We can talk for hours about anything and everything. We meet up once a week and spend the day together. He tries to make up for not being the dad I needed growing up, but I don't need him to do that... Him being happy and healthy is all I want. I admire him so much for overcoming his demons and not letting the drugs and drink defeat him.

Hups · 05/02/2023 20:35

I love absolutely everything about my parents. I couldn't have asked for better.

BitOutOfPractice · 05/02/2023 20:41

My mom simply thinks me and my sister (and her 4 granddaughters) are quite simply the most marvellous beautiful creatures that ever walked the earth, without any favouritism. And she is always 100% on our side, supporting us, no matter what. Just what you need from a mom and what I try to give my DCs too.

Abouttimemum · 05/02/2023 20:42

I love this thread. My parents are incredible. They have my back ALWAYS.

MajesticWhine · 05/02/2023 20:45

My mum has not been perfect, but to stick to the positives, she puts a lot of energy into everything which is quite inspiring at her age. She has been very supportive of me. She is very generous. She knows how to enjoy herself.
my dad died many years ago, but he was a good and caring man, also very generous.

FrozenGhost · 05/02/2023 20:49

This is something small but one thing I really treasure is the memory of how my mum would always hold a birthday party for me as a child with all my school friends and make me a beautiful cake. By today's instagram standards it wasn't too fancy but it was fantastic for a kid at the time and made with so much love. My dad would make a treasure hunt for us to do at the party complete with rhyming clues.

Cornelious2011 · 05/02/2023 20:51

My parents would do anything for me. Always offering to help- for example, they'll offer to come and wait in my house for a delivery, will offer to babysit dc an ddog. If were calling in to see them will offer us breakfast/ lunch dinner. If somethings broken my dad will offer to come fix it. They're very kind and loving to my dc. For any small achievement they'll make a big deal then slip them a fiver/ bring them their favourite treat.

ghostyslovesheets · 05/02/2023 20:54

My mums get up and go - 76 and she still cycles everywhere, raises money for the kids club she set up 10 years ago (no longer runs sadly due to health) - offers a hot meal to families after school/in the holidays, her love of her grand children, her passion for politics and fairness, her decorating skills, her love og gin and Cards Against Humanity! She's awesome

My step-dad - I love his drunk accents, his gentle humour, the way he loves my mum (18 years younger) and my kids, his politics

My dad - although we have no real relationship (he moved abroad when I was 2) he still likes mine and my kids FB posts, plays in an Irish band at 79, and when he phones me sporadically always does so in a Brummy accent (he's scouse, lived abroad for 50 years - it catches me off guard!)

I loved my grandparents deeply and miss them everyday - I'm so glad my 3 have the same relationship with my lot!

walkinthewoodstoday · 05/02/2023 20:55

When I was feeling very very low and could barely make it out of bed but needed to travel 200 miles across the country to get to my parents, my mum booked me a taxi to make sure I made it to the station. She let me rest in bed and brought be cups of tea.