Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you what you love about your adult parents? This is to contrast with the current other thread about what makes you rave/rant about your pare.

93 replies

Mammajay · 05/02/2023 18:53

My parents are dead now but I loved my mum because even when she had no clue what was going on in my life,having had a much simpler life, she was always there for me trying to make things better.

OP posts:
DorotheaHomeAlone · 05/02/2023 20:56

My mum truly sees me for who I am, only I’m a little stronger, shinier and braver in her eyes than reality. I have always been able to talk to her about anything knowing she’d never judge me or change her opinion of who I am. Time with her always makes me feel stronger and ready to face the world again. More myself somehow.

She does the same for my kids and is a super hands on grandparent, who tells me often what a great job I’m doing. I’m incredibly grateful to have her.

ghostyslovesheets · 05/02/2023 20:57

Also my mums raised me and my sister as a single parent from 1972 - went to uni in 1984 and then worked as a teacher until retirement - she taught me the value of education, that it's never wasted and a route out of poverty. She started doing O Level needle work in 1971 so she could make clothes for us - having left school with no qualifcations!

BrightRedLipstick · 05/02/2023 20:59

What a lovely thread!
My parents live far away and I miss them so much.
I love how they worry about me and the family all the time.
How they rejoice at our happiness and how much they look forward to seeing us during fleeting visits.

I always tell the kids there will never be another set of well wishers like them.
I miss them........

MrsRinaDecker · 05/02/2023 21:02

I haven’t always seen eye to eye with my parents, but I just found out that they sent my ds their pensioners’ winter fuel payment, because I’d mentioned his flat was cold, and they thought he needed it more than they did. Also, when my other ds came out, they didn’t bat an eyelid, just checked he hadn’t changed his pronouns, and loved him just the same.

Lovelycupofcoffee · 05/02/2023 21:03

My relationship with my mum changed after I had my son as we got on but it could be a bit tense at times . She’s just a ledgend who never has a bad word to say about anyone and would help anyone that needed it. Being a single mum is tough at times but my mum is like my rock . I can talk to her about anything and she just has the answer.

JudgeJ · 05/02/2023 21:04

I count myself unbelievably lucky in that both my parents were so utterly kind, supportive and had my back whenever (not that I appreciated it when younger).

I think your last, bracketed, comment is the adult equivalent of Churchill's comment about his parents:
When I was 16, I thought my parents knew nothing. When I was 21, I was shocked to discover how much they had picked up in the last 5 years.

So many of us grew to realise that our parents weren't as unreasonable as we thought once we had our own children to worry about!

Neverknowinglysensible · 05/02/2023 21:13

I miss my mum so much. She really was the lynchpin of our family life. She was very quiet and had low self esteem, but was incredibly intelligent and had a steely determination where us children were concerned. She died far too young after suffering for 10 years from various cancers and I’d do anything to have one of our family Sunday dinners back again.
My Dad was also the most amazing father, always there for us and could turn his hand to anything. Love you both, Parental Beings, wherever you may be now xxx

Judgyjudgy · 05/02/2023 21:15

My parents would do anything for me, even now at 42 with my own DC I'm still their baby. I'm so lucky to have them.

4thonthe4th · 05/02/2023 21:20

They have my back with everything. They offer guidance when needed but make sure I know they always support my choices. They are amazing grandparents. They’ve never had favourites. They make me feel so important to them, so loved and so cherished. We speak every day on the phone and see them weekly. They’re so warm and caring; little things like moving gloves from the hallway to the radiator for us during winter, always having the kettle on. I know if I needed absolutely anything, they’d be there at the drop of a hat, no questions asked.
The regular production of baked goods is also very much appreciated.

Bluebellsand · 05/02/2023 21:24

Dm is very resourceful and she attracts other people very fast and connects with them.

Florissant · 05/02/2023 21:28

My dad. He's brave and funny and kind and generous and tells the most awful jokes. He raised my brother and me and is just the most wonderful father.

deltablue · 05/02/2023 21:33

This thread is making me cry, especially when the usual story is a whinge about parents. I would rather spend time with my mum and dad than anyone else apart from my son, we have weathered so much over the decades but they are my inspiration

Zipps · 05/02/2023 21:35

I get my love of animals from my parents. We had loads of pets growing up and were shown how to love and care for them properly.
My mum is great in those crisis moments and my dad is very calm which equals fantastic support over the years.

butterfliedtwo · 05/02/2023 21:37

They love each other and showed me to never have low standards. They also never gave me grief about not getting grandchildren.

peachgreen · 05/02/2023 21:39

They would do anything for me. Give me anything, give up anything – my brother, my daughter and I are their lives and they always put us first. When my DH died suddenly they dropped everything to come and be with me.

They drive me bananas at times but their unconditional love and support has undoubtedly made my life a million times better and is the reason I’ve achieved anything in life. I never take having that foundation for granted and I know many people don’t get that.

Echobelly · 05/02/2023 21:39

My dad remains one of the most interesting people I know - he knows so much about music, history, literature etc and can talk about them with such enthusiasm

My mum is so loving and easy to get on with - she had a difficult childhood and it would have been easy for her to have reacted to what she went through by becoming a cold parent or going the other way and being overbearing, but she loves without reservation. Also she set me a great example by being confident in her looks, though she wasn't a 'conventional beauty', dressing how she wanted (very outrageously and punk when I was a kid) and always being complimentary about other women and pointing out the beauty of women of all ages, shapes and races which I think has really helped me avoid a lot of the body image issues that sadly seem to plague so many women. She's also done so much to help with the kids though we try not to lean too much on her because she has a chronic illness, and we don't need to so much these days now they're older. Her health has really been downhill the last few years sadly, and we know her condition means she won't live to a very old age so I fear we haven't that many more years left with her. 😢

peachgreen · 05/02/2023 21:41

Also their sensible and realistic attitude to sex has meant that I’ve never had any shame around it and have therefore had a happy and healthy sex life with no hang ups or compromises.

Theseboobsweremadeforwalking · 05/02/2023 21:42

My mum is the most fun person I know and my hero, hard to live up to sometimes but I'm v grateful. She taught me how to make the most of life, she's my buddy.

SMabbutt · 05/02/2023 22:02

I love the fact they are a team and totally committed to each other. They've been together as a couple since 1955 - 5 years 'courting' 62 years married. They have never been afraid to show their love in front of us, enjoying a cuddle, which as teenagers my brothers found a bit embarrassing. I also love that they are so open hearted and generous with their time for others, eg both helping completely decorate my son's new house last year in their 80s. They treat my dh like a son and I love that my dad, dh and ds can still enjoy a round of golf even though dad is nearly 88. My parents are probably my best friends.

whatthebejesus · 05/02/2023 22:57

My mum is an absolute star and is honestly the centre of my world along with my children and husband. There is nothing that she wouldn't do for us. She still does our ironing into her 70s (my standards aren't good enough 😂) and comes and collects the kids from school three times a week and takes them to swimming lessons twice. She doesn't have to do any of those things. She does them because she wants to and because she knows it will help us. I value her so much more than I could ever say.

My dad - god bless him. He died many years ago now but equally I was the centre of his world. We used to speak on the phone most days and I really miss him. We had our ups and downs but he was so proud of me and pretty much everyone told me so, esp at his funeral. He didn't get to meet my husband but I know they'd have got on like a house on fire and he'd have treated him like a son. I like to think that the way my parents have treated me all of these years have paved the way for the way I feel about my children and I know that when they're grown I will treat their partners as if they are my own too.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/02/2023 22:59

If I rang my mum tomorrow and said “I need you to come with me while I go to the bank. Sit in the car, and when you see me running out with duffel bags and hear an alarm, drive off the second I get in the car” she would say yes, ask no questions, and she’d bring sandwiches too.

Bikechic · 05/02/2023 23:25

Mum has loads of friends. She still sees a group of her ex colleagues. She retired 30 yrs ago. She goes on holiday with her friend from uni. She regularly visits her childhood friend. She’s friends with her gardener. She is still friends with the lady who had a child at same time as dm had me. She made new friends in retirement. She’s not actually very outgoing though, but people like her and enjoy her company.

CoodleMoodle · 05/02/2023 23:33

My DM would do anything for us, especially the DC. She goes along with everything my kids want to do, is amazing at imaginary play (I'm openly useless so throw myself into board games, craft, etc instead) and just generally adores them. She tolerates us visiting during the holidays, and never complains about the mess and general chaos of kids, even if she's thinking it!

My PIL would also do anything for us, always make us welcome in their house, and are very very good with SEN (two grandchildren confirmed, two in the process). They're lovely.

Despite me posting on the other thread about how much they all annoy me, I'm fully aware that we're very lucky to have them.

AzureOrchid · 05/02/2023 23:35

This thread is lovely
I am going to write down a little letter to my mum and dad after this and give them it.
I have a dad and step mum and a mum and step dad and I’m SO fortunate that they both met lovely people after they split up.
I think I was brought up very well by both sides , I don’t think I tell them enough , I’ll pop it in writing , I don’t care it it’s cringey , we should share more.

AzureOrchid · 05/02/2023 23:36

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/02/2023 22:59

If I rang my mum tomorrow and said “I need you to come with me while I go to the bank. Sit in the car, and when you see me running out with duffel bags and hear an alarm, drive off the second I get in the car” she would say yes, ask no questions, and she’d bring sandwiches too.

😆❤️