Nothing makes me want to be unkind more than that fucking "Be Kind" mantra!

[A580Hojas]

I am not an unkind person so I don't need it shoved down my throat.

I'm sick of seeing it on Mumsnet too. If you think someone has posted in a manner that breaks talk guidelines then just report them. Don't yap "be kind" all over the thread.

I hate ‘be kind’. Be kind is how women end up as doormats and in coercive controlling relationships. Be civil, yes. There is no need to be rude or nasty , but ‘be kind’ gets translated later into ‘don’t do anything that might hurt or upset the other person’ Irrespective of how uncomfortable or unhappy it makes you feel. DD was at a school that drummed on and in about ‘be kind’ how it played out in the play ground was that the SEN kid could be as nasty, manipulative and horrible as they wanted, and nobody could do anything in response, because it wasn’t ‘kind’.

It's not aimed just at women

Yep. Agreed. I will decide for myself when my kindness is warranted and when not. I will not be silenced in the name of an indiscriminate "be kind" mantra

It's aimed mostly at women. Let's not pretend otherwise

The only time I see it on MN is threads like this complaining about it

Bollocks to be kind and all its boundary trashing and silencing tactics.

YANBU! Be kind seems to have become an excuse for people to get away with all sorts of rude and entitled behaviour.

The people saying it are only trying to foster an inclusive safe space for civil discussion, I think you need to be more kind OP.

I find it's usually said to stop people reacting to someone else's bad behaviour.

"Be kind to me or you're an awful person, no more how much my behaviour is offensive/upsetting/negatively affecting you or other people"

It's just another way for some of the most entitled among us to justify crappy behaviour.

There are quite a few threads from first time posters/long time lurkers popping ‘be kind’ in their post.

I am more of a mind for ‘don’t be an arsehole’ rather than ‘be kind’

And sadly nothing makes me want to be an arse more than seeing that phrase.

*no matter how much, not more.

Be kind autocorrect! 😜

I quite like "be civil" or even "be polite" , I refuse to be kind. (Except perhaps to small fluffy animals)

It's unkind of you to suggest that OP is not kind enough!

‘Be kind’ is up there with the awful parroting of ‘if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all’.

It’s all so “Women! Know your place!” and it’s also a way of shutting down critical thinking too.

Hate it with a passion.

Indeed the only living boy in new cross

Be kind is the modern day scold’s bridle.

You can build a safe and inclusive society on principles like be fair, be truthful, be reasonable.

Yes this is my opinion too. “Don’t grumble about someone being a dick, be kind and let them continue”. It’s a one way system. A bit like “live and let live” is!

Not really seen it at all in MN, but it’s all over FB.

As I always say, no YOU be kind.

#bekind just means shut up.

Oh gosh! How shameful of me, I apologise unreservedly to OP and anyone else who I have offended. Thanks so much for calling me out on this, it just goes to show, no matter how kind you try to be, you can never be kind enough.

@Trainfromredhill Exactly. And it's very selective. We don't see much insistence that we should BeKind to disabled people or refugees.

YANBU. I noticed it especially after the first covid lockdown, there were ridiculous announcements in supermarkets about being kind to each other - I'm just trying to buy some food for god's sake, fuck off.

What a gracious response from you when you find yourself on the other side of a gratuitous be kind.

Annoying isn't it?

Some of the most unkind things I've ever had said to me were by a person who jumped straight on the "be kind" bandwagon

The very LAST thing women and girls need to be told is Be Kind.

Be assertive, speak up, have firm boundaries and don’t take any shit is what we need to be telling each other.