Nothing makes me want to be unkind more than that fucking "Be Kind" mantra!

[A580Hojas]

I am not an unkind person so I don't need it shoved down my throat.

I'm sick of seeing it on Mumsnet too. If you think someone has posted in a manner that breaks talk guidelines then just report them. Don't yap "be kind" all over the thread.

Yes, it’s often the way. Also self diagnosed ‘empaths’.

I've seen it twice today and several times in the last week or so and I'm hardly here these days.

I completely agree with don't be an arse (when called for) btw.

I was on an online "chat" with someone from Nationwide bank yesterday and the onscreen message said "please treat them with kindness and respect" before I was connected. Ffs.

I'm with you OP.

Be kind basically now means shut the fuck up.

It's used to stop people challenging others actions because to challenge them may point out they've acted incorrectly.

I am kind. But I won't be treated unkindly and told be "be kind" in return.

It's very damaging to woman even though that's ironic because it was used to defend a woman who very likely committed domestic abuse of a partner.

It’s as bad as, I mean this gently op. Patronising and condescending bollocks.

Ugh my daughters school used this whenever somebody voiced criticism of their completely dire response to home schooling during the pandemic. Every email had 'remember to be kind' (meaning: by challenging our incompetence, you're not being kind).

I’ve never seen the ‘be kind’ message plastered over products (T-shirts/pencil cases/ notepads) aimed at boys/men, only young girls or women.

My internal response is ‘fuck off’.

The most recent time I’ve heard it was when an adult woman wasn’t getting her own way. Nothing unkind was said or done, but she was told no, that’s not what happened. Everyone’s needs need to be taken into account, not just your wishes, so we need to work together to find a workable solution. Cue her screaming ‘Be kind!!! Why are you being so mean!!?!’

Exactly! It's aimed at everyone.

"Let's not pretend otherwise"

I bet you could visit umpteen men-focussed websites and fora and not see it once.

Apart from when said to toddlers, "be kind" nearly always means either "be compliant" or "don't call me out". Ughhhh.

Don't be a dick is better

Be kind = don’t challenge me, don’t tell me I’m wrong even if I am, don’t tell me anything I don’t want to hear.

Also, it’s literally a command. Anyone who attempts to command me to do anything get a “wtf?” from me.

Please treat people with respect is very different in my opinion, from Be Kind, the latter used by people who are not the case.

I agree with the majority and it now has quite sinister undertones when said to anyone over the age of 6. It’s bloody patronising actually.

I especially hate "Whatever happened to be kind?", as if it's some sort of code of conduct we all signed.

I've never been fluffy, performative kind. But I am fair, moral and just - all things that end up creating a nice place to live if, rather than spouting platitudes.

I used to work with a bloke who harrassed and bullied several colleagues. One way he did this was by making false allegations against someone and then using that as an excuse to give that person a dressing down in front of everybody. One day he started doing this to a female colleague, she started calling him out on it, and he told her to "be kind!" From that moment onwards I understood why that phrase annoys mumsnetters so much.

At one point the tube stop I got on had “BE KIND” in pink hearts all the way down the escalator (electronic adverts so even more glaring). It was like I couldn’t escape.

It's as pointless as saying calm down to an angry person

I completely agree with this post. It’s nearly always used to shut somebody down from reacting to hurtful behaviour they have been on the receiving end of.

I think this might be of use here

That isn’t an isolated incident daves

Bullied for years by a colleague. including false allegations (enough to damage my reputation pretty much permanently).

At one of my grievance meetings I was told to be kind. The poor soul had gone off with stress and palpitations because I’d raised a grievance and ‘he clearly wasn’t well’.

To me. The person with skin covered in sores and bald with the stress of it all.

WasI fuck being kind.

You're overreacting. Sometimes it needs to be said in order to calm a situation.

I treat people how I like to be treated, fairly and with respect.

I find you get what you give.

I also get a buzz from doing things for others for no reason other than being kind.

There is enough unkindness and cuntness in the world.

Sometimes it needs to be said in order to calm a situation.

With the greatest kindness, that's the last thing that would help a situation.

Closely followed by:

Calm down dear

and

It's nice to be nice.

Overused platitudes are rarely helpful. In fact, they're more likely to inflame a situation, as people don't generally like to be patronised.
.

My revolting ex neighbor was big on the "be kind" mantra and weeping over Caroline Flack. On social media obviously, not real life.

In real life she and her husband were vile. Loud music, shouting, bitching about everyone, banging about.