To be miffed about joint money account contributions??

[Lisjones]

Just moved in with partner. He is the main earner.
My take home is around £1400 a month but some months can be less as I'm self employed; his is around 2500-3000 a month after tax.
Our joint outgoings including mortgage, energy, water etc. are around £1100.

When we moved in, we agreed I'd put £850 in and he'd put £900 but I'm sat here working out my costs now and he's saving a much bigger percentage than me.
WIBU to ask him if I could put around £750 in instead. I feel cheeky asking but Ill struggle to save otherwise.

Sorry he's paid every couple of weeks, so monthly after tax he's around £5000.

Jointly you earn around £4000
£1400 you
£2500 him
35% is you
65% is him
35% of bills for you is £385
65% of bills for him is £715

Pretty simple

Who owns the house?

I'm just a bit worried to bring it up; I don't want to come across like I'm leaching but I'm sat working out finances and I just think £750 is a lot of money to me and I feel quite stressed 😖

We both own the house but I've never been well off and I work for an agency currently so my pay is up and down so I have money anxiety and that I'm putting a lot of my earnings in the joint account meaning I wont be saving as much as I like for a rainy day or things go wrong. Maybe I'm overthinking it

No your not wrong, it should be done in percentage. This is what we did before we joined all finances. It's only fair and you both have a fair amount left over too

Wow. He earns 4 times more than you and you are basically paying equal? What a guy. I'd be reconsidering the relationship not just my financial contribution.

I think as you agreed to it your kind of stuck now. You say he's the main earner, but he's not - he's just the higher earner, your contribution is valid too.

How come you only earn £1400? How many hours do you work compared to your partner and can you increase your rates being as your self-employed. When did you last increase your rates because most people I know that are self employed have all put their rates up.

You can ask but I don't think he has to say yes to that - be prepared for no, even if you think its fairer, he doesn't have to agree.

Plus schools only went back last week and I'm paid weekly via agency. My agency have currently found me a part-time long-term but I have told them I'd like to work the other half of the day in other schools but obviously September is slow.
So when I worked out my monthly income this month, by the time holiday and tax and national insurance is taken out, I'll have about £380 a week but by the time our bills are due, altogether I'd have been paid around £1150, meaning I'd only have about £200 in my actual account

This.

DH and I prefer to keep our finances separate, but when we moved into our first house, this is how we worked things out, as he earned 4x my salary. It’s now about 2x so we just reworked the % accordingly.

Sorry I made a mistake with self-employed, I'm agency teacher looking for a permanent job. I put self-employed as I didn't want to give too much away about me

I think I agreed because before summer I was on about £750 a week with my long term so back then it seemed appropriate, now my agency have put me on a different long-term that's less pay and I'm stressing a bit

He is taking the absolute piss, stop subsidising him and move to a % contribution

But I saw about £550 of it in my bank account weekly

It seems crazy to me that you have bought a house with someone without properly discussing how you can both afford it, who owns what, and what is an appropriate amount for you both to pay!
When did you buy the property? Do you own it 50/50?

So that he can subsidize the OP?

I've seen two ways of doing it that are fair. % contribution, or working out what in total is left between you after all bills incl food, and split it equally. I think the 2nd works better when kids are involved and one is part time for childcare. He's taking the piss out of you.

Your dh is either clueless about what your earning and doesn’t realise how unfair the split is

or he’s a arse who knows full well…. Unless you drip feed he pays for all holidays/ nights out and regular gifts etc

only you know which one it is

In what way is she subsidising him? He is paying more into the joint account.

I think you need to give us the full details as his salary has gone from £2500-£3000 a month and then changed to £5000.

• How much does he get paid a month and how much do you get paid a month.
• You said you have just moved in together but you both own the house?
• Who paid what share of the deposit etc.

it Difficult because why should he subside you

I would start off by saying your new contract isn't paying you as much and you can't currently afford to put in an equal amount to him and tell him what you can put in for the time being (make sure it equals the percentage of earnings - so he pays 5 x as much as you if he earns 4 x as much).

If he says no, then pack your things and tell him to put the house up for sale or buy you out. I would never have moved him with him anyway if he insisted on something like that, also the fact you don't want to broach it to him speaks volumes, if he refuses then he doesn't give a crap about you.

A lot depends on your relationship. Young, no marriage or kids in sight, not that long a relationship, it is what it is.

Long-term, older, marriage-like, it's a bit shit and I wouldn't be OK with it.

Husband and I have a joint account which both salaries go into and from that account comes all the bills (mortgage, council tax, energy, car, childcare costs etc etc). Then what is left over goes into a mix of (joint) savings, a food account, and we each get an 'allowance' into our own accounts to do what we want with and that is exactly the same.