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Original poster

To be miffed about joint money account contributions??

82 replies

Lisjones · 12/09/2022 19:57

Just moved in with partner. He is the main earner.
My take home is around £1400 a month but some months can be less as I'm self employed; his is around 2500-3000 a month after tax.
Our joint outgoings including mortgage, energy, water etc. are around £1100.

When we moved in, we agreed I'd put £850 in and he'd put £900 but I'm sat here working out my costs now and he's saving a much bigger percentage than me.
WIBU to ask him if I could put around £750 in instead. I feel cheeky asking but Ill struggle to save otherwise.

OP posts:
Izzy24 · 12/09/2022 20:27

If your joint outgoings are £1100 can’t you put £550 each in?

-must be a very small mortgage and low bills (missing point of thread)

Hotandbothereds · 12/09/2022 20:27

When you say you both own the house, that’s a joint mortgage?

Who paid the deposit, was it 50/50 - didn’t you go through finances when you got a joint mortgage?

Hotandbothereds · 12/09/2022 20:29

Our joint outgoings including mortgage, energy, water etc. are around £1100.

When we moved in, we agreed I'd put £850 in and he'd put £900

Where is the extra money going if your total outgoings are £1100?

Neither of you need to be contributing so much for bills.

Original poster
Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:39

Sorry for the confusion, I'm used to him being paid every couple of weeks so I naturally wrote down his first paycheck of the month. Altogether, in a month, he earns around £5000-6000 depending on the month.
Last academic year, I was on £750 a week before tax as I was on a long-term in a class.
Now my weekly pay before tax and holiday pay is £450.

It was his idea to put that much in and anything saved goes towards holidays

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:40

Yes we have a joint mortgage. I'd happily just put what we need into the joint account nor do I want him to subside me; I just feel under pressure to put all this extra money into it because he's said so and it's stressing me out

OP posts:
Hauntedmaison · 12/09/2022 20:41

A % split is the fairest way

Olsi109 · 12/09/2022 20:45

Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:40

Yes we have a joint mortgage. I'd happily just put what we need into the joint account nor do I want him to subside me; I just feel under pressure to put all this extra money into it because he's said so and it's stressing me out

In that case then just tell him you'll put in £550 for now for the essentials and if work picks up and you can afford a holiday later down the line you'll look at what you've got in your account.

luxxlisbon · 12/09/2022 20:47

What is every “couple of weeks”? Do you mean he gets paid fortnightly or 4 weekly?
Its a pretty big jump that he’s gone from earning 2.5/3k to suddenly 6k after tax!

Have you looked for a new job? I’m not suggesting you can just snap your fingers immediately find another but to just have accepted a £300 per week salary difference and how your partner has to pick up the difference when you aren’t married.

I can’t work out what kind of relationship you have. Surely if you are committed enough to buy a house you can just talk to him about your new income? Does he not already know? What did he say?

Original poster
Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:49

@luxxlisbon supply teaching in September can be slow so I took the long-term for now so money is coming in from my end; I don't intend to be on this much a week forever

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:49

He gets paid fortnightly

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:51

Yes he already knows and he agreed that some income is better than no income suppy-wise September

OP posts:
Hauntedmaison · 12/09/2022 20:53

So when you told him you’d be earning less did he make any mention about adjusting what you pay into the joint?

whilst I agree he shouldn’t subsidise you presumably you see a future together so it should be fair? Or will he always have savings and spare money whilst your struggle

if you plan of having dc read through the threads where ‘d’hs don’t even bother to pay towards their dc but sit on a healthy bank account whilst the other person scrapes by

Meowser72 · 12/09/2022 20:54

A percentage split is best. That’s what we do. My income fluctuates because I have a part-time salary and then I do freelancing on top some months. Most of the time I earn less than my DH but sometimes it’s more. When it’s more, I pay in the higher percentage; when it’s less, he pays in the higher percentage. It’s a bit fiddly as we have to work out the percentage every month but I think it’s the fairest way. I am part-time for childcare reasons: no “subsidising” is going on here.

Meowser72 · 12/09/2022 20:56

Sorry, that came out wrong about me being part-time for childcare reasons and DH not “subsidising” me. What I meant to say is that I don’t think he would be subsidising you if you went to percentages!

YourVajesty · 12/09/2022 20:58

If you want him to pay more than 50% of the mortgage, you’ll need to accept that he’ll own more than 50% of the house.

Can you do that?

Is there a reason you’re not married and sharing finances? Until then, he has no legal or financial tie to you so would be silly to subsidise you.

Hotandbothereds · 12/09/2022 20:58

Lisjones · 12/09/2022 20:39

Sorry for the confusion, I'm used to him being paid every couple of weeks so I naturally wrote down his first paycheck of the month. Altogether, in a month, he earns around £5000-6000 depending on the month.
Last academic year, I was on £750 a week before tax as I was on a long-term in a class.
Now my weekly pay before tax and holiday pay is £450.

It was his idea to put that much in and anything saved goes towards holidays

So just say, for now my wages have dropped so I can’t put in the extra for holidays for a bit, I can only put in £550.

You're still covering 50% of the bills, I don’t see the problem with that - if he chooses to keep putting in more for savings that’s up to him.

mrsm43s · 12/09/2022 20:58

Unless your lower income is due to caring responsibilities ( either now or in the past affecting your earning potential), or because you've jointly agreed for you to take a back seat in our career in order to take on more of the load at home, then you split the bills 50:50, surely? You can earn much more than £1400/m as a full time teacher.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 12/09/2022 21:05

He shouldn't be deciding that you need to contribute to holidays you cannot afford. Put in £550 which covers your equal share of the mortgage and bills, and tell him that will have to be it until your financial situation improves. And don't let him walk all over you with food and drinks costs either, mean men will have you paying half of that too, while they consume 80% of it.

DenholmElliot1 · 12/09/2022 21:12

I don't think that he should be paying more just because you're choosing to work part-time, sorry.

oviraptor21 · 12/09/2022 21:21

YourVajesty · 12/09/2022 20:58

If you want him to pay more than 50% of the mortgage, you’ll need to accept that he’ll own more than 50% of the house.

Can you do that?

Is there a reason you’re not married and sharing finances? Until then, he has no legal or financial tie to you so would be silly to subsidise you.

This.

Threelittlelambs · 12/09/2022 21:27

I would offer half the outgoings and you both save separately.

Then should a holiday arise you can discuss if you can afford to go, or he offers to pay.

120go · 12/09/2022 21:32

By all means request it. But don't feel entitled to it.

He's not just watching TV and eating snacks to get his money. It's a product of hard work, talent and dedication either now or in the past.

If you want more money to live like he can, go do what it takes to earn it, like he did.

trackerc · 12/09/2022 21:33

Am I right in following that you're telling us how much he earns & gets paid after tax, but you tell us how much you earn before tax?
That is also disadvantaging you. It needs to be factored in too.
Work it all out in full. Don't be bambozled.

Original poster
Lisjones · 12/09/2022 21:35

I think some people have missed the point - I can afford half the mortgage and bills at £550 a month but I'm on about the extra money to put in towards holiday

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 12/09/2022 21:36

If he's earning £6k a month (not sure if before or after tax) paid every 2 weeks then I can’t see how he believes how only putting more than £50 a month is fair

who pays for all the other stuff?

I don’t care about what split is proposed just tell him the £50 difference is ridiculous